If a girl is still in your mind, but you can't have her, when do you know its time to move on?

Question

I have been in a relationship for a while now, but I dont feel like I'm in love with this person, but resposibility and obligations kind of play a role here due to kids, but my mind has been on some other woman for quite some time now and I feel so lost with what to do, that I end up just going to work everyday like usual as if nothing is wrong, but I constantly think of this other girl and even had dreams of her, so with that note if I pursue the other woman, I hurt alot of peoples feelings but I feel that I would be happy, if I dont I'm unhappy, so how do you know when is it time to move on? Am I crazy or am I just not appreciating what I have?

Answer 1

Tough call.

Listen to your heart and discuss that issue with your wife.
Depending on the result of your discussion can you then decide which option to take.Happiness doesn't revolve alone in your world now so you have to also consider the value of your family and how important they all are to you.Ask yourself many times what added value it will be to you to give up what you built for years to start all over again with someone new.Is it really worth all that trouble and does it deserve to surpass all those heartbreaks and heartaches??!Mirror on your kids and how greatly shaken they will be knowing for a fact their dad left their mom for another because their dad felt their mom isn't good enough for him anymore.Before you decide and rush things to step into another level please do consider your wifes' feelings..if the feelings are mutual then it's inevitable to move on and find that happiness you both deserve but if one still believes in your marriage then it would really be a shame to let it go for the unknown.Save and compromise afterall that's what marriage is all about,right?You have no assurance that this attraction to that other woman holds last in time,it remains still to be seen and what if that woman will eventually loose her attraction towards you,what then...?Yes,my point exactly back to square one and scratch all over again.Not appreciating what you're having would be too heavy word to use I think.I believe you are just in a state now wherein everything gets so routine-like,no challenge anymore since you perfectly know there's stability.Financially I'm quite sure that it's not the issue because with your wife or with someone new that responsibility is chained to you for life.You're not crazy trust me..temptation is just blinding you making you appear confused to yourself and lost to us.

Heart-to-heart talk and openly communicate with your woman.She's your wife not a complete stranger living under the same roof as you do.

Answer 2

I don't think you should stay in a relationship that you are unhappy with. As for the other woman, you don't ever know if she fancys you like you do her. Giving up your marriage should be a decision in its own, not just to have this other woman. You have to decide if this other woman were non exsistant if you'd feel the same. Remember when you end your marriage there is no going back. Sounds more like lust than love for this other woman. If you had this woman for a night and fulfilled your fantasy and obsession would you still want her in a week, month, year from now? You really need to sperate your heart from your head here, calm down your little man and think rationally and respectfully. Good luck!

Answer 3

i think uv got to look at what you already have. your wife and kids will be so hurt and upset if you leave for this other woman. uv got to think though... do you want to put your relationship with your kids in jeopardy? Different situations turn out differently. my dad left my mum for another woman and had a child with her and iv never forgiven him and the child is now 12. however my friends dad did exactly the same thing to her when she was younger and she still loves him to pieces and his new baby. Is it just that your bored with your current relationship? if so then why not try and spice it up a bit. if you feel you don't love her maybe you should split up but don't bring this new woman on the scene straight away. Trust me, just leave it a few months. Remember to make your kids feel special, there obviously the ones your bothered about hurting.

good luck. hope all goes well for you.

Answer 4

ok - well it seems that you're thinking of everyone else's feelings but your own. - Put yourself first here and decide what you really want out of life. Your heart will show you the way to go. Of course either the woman you are currently with will get hurt if you leave - and if you stay you will hurt yourself - life is too short to be spent regretting decisions - have a serious think about things - make sure what you feel for the other woman is genuinely love and not some form of lust.
I wish you luck

Answer 5

You have to make yourself happy before you can truly share that love and good feelings with others,if you don't you begin to drain yourself and that's where you are now. Never stay in a relationship that your not happy,not even for kids cause you'll just end up hurting them and your kids not respecting you.Move on and find the love your looking for,then go to your kids and explain your actions,we all would like to live in a world where everybody gets what they want but in reality that's not always possible. In short : you can't help others if you don't help yourself first. Good luck to you.

Answer 6

People tend to take what they have for granted. It is usually after damage was done, and people we love was hurt and walked out of our lives that we realised that the people we love was beside us all the while.

How do you know if it is time to move on? When your gut feeling told you so.

If you do pursue the other woman, there is no guarantee that your love for her will last. You may end up having neither.

Answer 7

That's sad. But don't you think it is unfair toward the girl that you with now that you have this mind set? You might never feel like its time to move on that's why you have to decide for yourself. Is this good for me? Can it ever be a reality? Im I hurting those around me for this? Am I being real to myself? When you answer these auestions you'll have a better understanding as to whether this is the right or wrong thing. Nevertheless, you always learn from your mistakes. But prevention is better than cure.

Answer 8

Hun, do what makes you happy. If the hirl ur with now cares about you she will want you to be happy and if being with that other girl makes you happy then you should be with her because it would really suck living life being unhappy. I cant tell you what to do but i will just say that you should listen to ur heart and stop thinking about everyone else for a minute and think about what you want because you seem like the kinda guy that always does things 4 other people but never himself. The girl u r with now will get over losing you but ull never get over how u didnt go after this woman u really like, and now are living ur life unhappily

Answer 9

If you have feelings for this other woman, you need to evaluate with the mother of your children first. Do you think your thoughts of this other woman would result in a good relationship?

I believe you should talk to the mother of your children and tell her your feelings first. You must discuss your relationship with her before anything else.

If you must try a relationship with the other woman, then you must end it with the mother of your children. There are many men who are divorced who still take care of their children and have a different relationship. Make sure your children come first. Make them a priority.

Remember, the grass is not always greener on the other side.

Answer 10

you are living a lie-to yourself and your partner. does the other girl feel the same way about you? you are not the first or the last person to be with a partner who you are not in love with. rememeber the bridges of madison county movie/book? the writer got bombarded with mail, 50% if the comments were to thank him for reaffirming their decision to stay with their families and obligations while the other half wrote in that his book was an inspiration and motivation not to live like that and not follow the heart. different people are motivated by different factors, in your case being the battle between emotions and responsibilities. i feel you can have a healthy balance of both. it is only up to you how you choose to distribute the two. good luck.