Help, how do I turn on my computer?

Question

Just, for the record I do know how to turn on the computer. I posted this question just for fun. And the 10 points will be given to the witiest and funniest answer.

Answer 1

That's easy, just wear some sexy sleepwear by Victoria's secret and he gets started.

Answer 2

First you need to wine and dine it with some duster then after its intoxication of fumes you rub the monitor three times and tell it how much you love it then slip into a box because the computer loves sharp curves especially boxy ones and then simply push all its buttons until it lights up and cums on for you.

Answer 3

take a hammer and bash the thing apart. When youre done destroying or mutilating the parts (especially the CPU) just cobble everything together and see what you get. Put it in the microwave for fun :)

Answer 4

Leave the poor electronic thing alone and find a boyfriend.

Now, discovering how to turn him on in so many ways should be more interesting, don't you think?

Answer 5

Bring it to a service agent. Tell him your problem. I bet not more than 2 minutes, your computer'll be on. Of course, the technician that do it.

Answer 6

bang the cpu with a hammer(lightly ofcourse)!
and then ry pressinf every button n the cpu! and then when it finaalyy turns up, bang the screen!

Answer 7

Bye it a diamond necklace and some red wine. Then use your fingers and click its mouse to stimulate its hard-drive.

Answer 8

Do nothing.
It is already on since you are on the internet.
Let me know if you need help turning it off.

Answer 9

you first figure out if it is male or female. Then you start pushing it's buttons, finger it's mouse and then it'll light up for you

Answer 10

press every button on the cpu. when you're done, then press every button again to try and turn it off~!