I plan to travel to celebrate my birthday with my close friends whom are all out of town. However, I want to let them know in advance that I want to have a dinner celebration at a certain restaurant, which I also plan to call in advance and see if they can possibly give us a private room or a reservation for the night. However, I would like for each guest to pay for his/her own dinner, since we are all college students. In the past year when I went to visit, because not everyone knew about the plans, not everyone could celebrate with me. Also, whenever we all go out for other people's birthdays (whenever I was still living there), we just told one another, and it was implied. What would be the proper way to let everyone know that this is what I would like to do for my birthday without seeming pushy or cheap, since I'm having to plan this somewhat in advance?
2006-08-27 22:03:50 · 16 answers · asked by pumpkin 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Probably just tell them ahead of time and say that you are planning a birthday party at a certain restaurant and possibly get a room and it would be x amount of dollars per person. And also tell them that you just want to get a head count to see if people would be interested and if it would end up being possible. I don't think this would seem pushy or cheap because they're not obligated to come, and it seems open-ended, since the entire plan (food+private room) is not 100% for sure. And I'm sure they understand since you're all college students... I've been there before.
I know someone who had a bday party on a boat, and he mentioned that it would be x amount of dollars to go to the party to help defray the cost. He had a full boat and everyone paid. So, having people chip in or pay a share is definitely possible.
2006-08-27 22:08:25 · answer #1 · answered by Dude 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not quite certain what you mean, if your friends are out of town now, or will be, when you send them the invitation? You could email them and let them know, since calling would be time consuming, based on how many friends you have. Tell your friends ahead of time which restaurant you're going to, so they have an idea of the pricing of the food there. Maybe you could even go to the restaurant and ask for a copy of their menu so that friends will know the prices even more in detail. When you go to the restaurant that you're reserving at, let them know when they take your order that you would like the bills separate for each person.
2006-08-27 22:12:32 · answer #2 · answered by rpg_nightstriker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
perfectly ok. on the invitation state 'dutch treat', or that you are meeting friends out for this occasion and that the bill will be evenly split and should come to around $__ per person. If there is a bar, guests should buy drinks directly and pay their own. as a kind gesture, you may ask the establishment if you may bring your own cake that you made or paid for to share with all. If the place is too fancy for this,a small keepsake gift could be given to all-such as a nice photo. this eliminates that 'cheap' feeling.
2006-08-27 23:22:47 · answer #3 · answered by onionheadinvancouver 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the fact that you already picked out the location makes it hard to discuss ahead of time, with your friends.
You're basically forcing them into paying a price on a meal (and other amenities such as the private room), that is in a price range that you've decided on and that they have no say in.
However, if they're really your friends, talk to them ahead of time and let them know you're on a budget and that it would mean a lot to you to be able to do this.
Don't just land it on them in a time/place where its hard to gracefully opt out. They might resent you for it.
2006-08-27 22:14:06 · answer #4 · answered by blandnamenotworthremembering 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
say you are broke in your stocks. And say that you really want to celebrate your birthday. Ask them whether they could do this for you as a favour.
Demand that since its your birthday, you shouldn't be the one paying.
Tell everyone that the service charge is $X and they should have enough money.
Tell everyone that they should pay for their own food since you don't have enough money to pay for lavish dinner.
That's all I can think of. It may be a bit harsh. But that's the best way.
2006-08-27 22:11:25 · answer #5 · answered by whethalar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well just call them up and say hey im going to be in town and lets hang out like we used to that being said everyone wil catch on and ssay that cheap B***h wants everyne to pay for them selves when shes the one that wants to celebrate. Or remind them its your birthday and that you will be in town and maybe theyll look at your cheap name and say lets throw her a surprise birthday party!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-08-27 22:16:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you invite-- you pay.
To get around this, you suggest that since you cannot afford to give a party, would anybody be interested in joining you for a shared get together at------------------ with everybody going dutch. You cannot fib about not being able to afford to pay for everybody , so you make it clear the everyone has to kick in. If nobody else can afford it either then think of something else
remember if you invite--- you pay!!!!!
2006-08-27 22:36:39 · answer #7 · answered by virginia o 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What i think you should let your friends know about the plan, and see how they responds.
From the responds, then only you make the reservation. If they are your close friends, they might understand.
2006-08-27 22:16:56 · answer #8 · answered by Liza S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the invitation just put what the restaruant is and put he price range will be $$-$$ and we will all split the tip. that way you don't have to come right out with it, but it is still implied.
2006-08-27 22:10:55 · answer #9 · answered by Lyoness 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Better still, why don't you invite all your guest to dinner and make them pay for you.
2006-08-27 22:21:58 · answer #10 · answered by ancalagon2003 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋