My 15 year old daughter is in-love with a 16 year old boy and has asked for birth control pills.?

Question

My 15 year old daughter is in-love with a 16 year old boy who is also in-love with her and has asked to be put on birth control pills.....(they want to get married when she is 18) I know that these things usually don't last, but who knows, sometimes they do. I can understand her desire for intimacy but 15 is so young. If I say no I think she will just do it anyway and then she could get pregnant. Please advise. Thank you so much, Carolyn

Answer 1

It's not something you can really prevent. I'd recommend taking her to the clinic to get some b.c. because if she has made the decision to do it you at least want her to take the right precautions.

Answer 2

Think back when you were a teen, if you wanted to do it you were going to no matter what you mom said right. I would take her to the doctor and get her the pill. That way she can finish school maybe go to collage and get a good job. You would also be preventing an unwanted pregnancy at her age. It would really help her a lot in more ways then you know. She will not end up pregnant and she will not be a young mother who can not raise her kid and provide everything she needs. I know it is hard to think about you little girl at age 15 having sex. She might not be yet or in the near future but maybe it is something she thinks might happen soon in the heat of the moment and she wants to be ready. She has show some maturity by coming to you now show a little trust in her. If you do take her also tell her how you feel that you wish she would wait but you trust her to make the right decision. Tell her you love her and trust her.

Answer 3

15 is a little young to be put on the pill (I have a 15 year old daughter), but I agree 100% to be safe vs being sorry. It sounds like you two have a great relationship and are very open. If she didn't care about your opinion of her she would not have reassured you that she was still a virgin. I would definitely express your concern with her and explain that even though she is on the pill the boy should have enough respect for the two of them to wear a condom (even if it is the first time for them both); explain that even though she is on the pill it is not guaranteed that she can not still get pregnant and a condom would just be that much more added protection. Good luck w/her -

Answer 4

If kids want to do something bad enough they will find a way to do it no matter what you do. So now that you are at this point you can't go back and you have to deal with this problem as best as you can. Birth control pills do not protect from sexually transmitted diseases and chances are that next week or next month these two will be in love with other people or maybe even cheating on eachother. If they are desperate to have sex at this age and believe they are in love who knows what they will do?

It's time to have a long hard talk with your daughter about reality and your fears and beliefs. Take her to an AIDS hospice to see people who are dying of aids. Tell her about women who have STD's that made them sterile and unable to have children. Show her pictures of Herpes and other STD's from the internet. If she is old enough to be considering sex than she should be able to look at the consequences of what can happen in a mature and adult manner. Check in your area for some organizations that help young unwed teenage mothers and introduce her to some of them or allow someone to tell her what life is like when you are 16 and a teenage mom. Try any way possible to discourage her from making the wrong decision. If you think it will help put her on birthcontrol as an added safety measure but remember...pills dont protect from STD's so that is not an acceptable solution at her age since as you said these things usually don't last and teenagers this age have no concept of commitment.

Answer 5

its great that she came to talk to you first i comend her for that i hope when my children are that age they find enough confindence in me to do the same i do know that here in my home town that if a teenager wants birth control pills that don't need a parent's consent to get them all they have to do is go to the local health department and have a physical with pap smear and they have them if i was you i would call your health department and find out if she needs your consent and if not maybe you two can talk about this issue a little more because you would rather for her to be on birth control pills then prenatal pills right.also if u decide on the pills do some research before the two of you make any decisions please research on the risks of long term use of the pill also cause i have a friend that has been on the pills forever seems like now she isn't able to have kids so u don't want that either.one more thing you don't have to go to the health department if you have a family doctor maybe take her there and you can get help with the topic if u are a little shaky good luck in whatever u do

Answer 6

What would I do? Just after I got off the floor, I'd pat myself on the back for being such a good mum my daughter felt comfortable coming to talk to me.

If she's thinking about it, it's a good idea to have her seen at your family doc's office or clinic. AND! Stress the fact that being on the pill is not going to guarantee she won't get pregnant. It's very important she protect herself against STD's and double up on protection by this lad wearing a condom. The doc or clinician will tell her this as well. It's a good idea to talk with her about why this is important to her and, if it's your opinion, why she might want to be prepared, but wait.

I'd plan a sit down (she might be uncomfortable with it) with the daughter and young 'Jimmy', as a pair and make sure they both know the importance of him wearing a condom. Ask him if he's talked with his mum or dad.

Maybe they'll marry, maybe they won't. It's a long time and a lot of emotional/psychological growing to be done between now and 18.

Answer 7

Carolyn, you are right to be thinking about the options and that there is and is not a possibility for the future of their relationship. I know that 15 is young. it is, to young to have sex. All you can do is talk to her about it and hope that she waits until they are at least a few years older. but also putting her on birth control will make sure that she at least does not get pregnant. I would be greatful if I were you that at least she came and talked to me about it and asked me. As a parent I would be proud of her for being open and honest. The choice is still yours though. You obviously love her and just want the best for her. 15 is really young to decide that you want to be with someone for the rest of your life though. talk with her about these things also. There are alot of hormones in play right now.

I would give her the birth control. If you do decide to, please do not get her the depo shot. If you have any questions I can tell you more. let me know. Good luck.

Answer 8

You are absolutely right. If you don't get them for her she will get them elsewhere or do it without the pills which will be much riskier than just giving her the pills.

In today's world 15 really isn't that young for intimacy and the fact that she came to you first before actually having sex shows that she has a certain level of maturity.

Give her the pills.

Answer 9

Carolyn, you are very smart to ask this question. I can tell you are open and frank with your daughter. I know you have talked about sex and all that goes along with your daughter having sex. You can be proud of her for asking you to have B/C. I think if you want to protect her from having a child to soon, give your consent to the B/C but make it clear that she should think very hard and long about if she chooses to have sex with him.

The same thing happen to may daughter and so I did give her permission for B/C and of course the relationship didn't last but she was broken hearted but she is not pregnant and that was 7 years ago.

Good Luck

Answer 10

The fact that she asked this of you, shows that she trusts you. That's great! You should acknowledge the fact that she can be so responsible. I say, put her on the pill. But you really should have a mature discussion of protection from STDs, since the pill won't take care of that. Also, tell her about all the emotional repercussions that can happen - this is not something they can learn in school but it can come from your life experience. The most important thing is to keep the lines of communication open.

Answer 11

I definitely would sit her down and talk about the risks of being intimate at such a young age! She can't take back her virginity... and she might want it back 9 months from now! However, as a mother, you need to protect your child. Take her to a clinic and get her on bc for now, but plead with her to reconsider the decision of going thru with it. If she is REALLY in love, and he REALLY loves her back, they can wait until their wedding night! It will be a romantic statement of love, and committment that nothing else could ever top!!!
Both of these kids should be focused on growing up, and getting a good education! Sex at too young an age will just get in the way of all that. Also, where are they planning to have sex? I recommend talking to the boys' parents as well, because a pregnancy would affect all of you.