my husband and i have been living together for 7 1/2 yrs. we`ve been married for 6 yrs. we have never had the house to ourselves. one day when we do we will probably never answer the door again. is this problem bothering anyone else? or have u dealt with this issue before? how do i fix this?
2006-08-27 20:21:56 · 7 answers · asked by "big dogs wife" 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Too much of a good thing, the joint family system these days! However, there are many cases of joint living, where every one feels the work at home gets nicely shared, young couples go out oftener with no fear of home getting burgled 'cos in-laws are there, both young husband and wife work and earn and have a care free home life 'cos of parents living-in, young children are looked after well, values are passed on etc etc. They are real gains, not to be brushed aside lightly! If the 'give-and-take' spirit is right, if the live-and-let-live spirit is right and if all concerned know when and how to keep quiet, how to 'mind-own-business' at the same time be of help, (A big If?!), then, I think, in balance, the gains are overwhelming! Togetherness is then good!
2006-08-27 20:35:22 · answer #1 · answered by swanjarvi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost when getting married one should understand that relatives are bound to visit. Some even come not just to visit but live with you. This is vertually unavoidable but controlable. Firstly, you must learn to have a policy (if you don't have any). You and your husband should decide when you want visitation from either of the family relatives and for how long that person should stay. Make it a point to keep and understand that before any family member visits that the person would have called before hand to inform you or your husband. You don't have to be rude but simply ask tell the person that you shall get back to them, that you need to discuss the issue with your spouse. Individually you should not taken the descision of whether that person is to come or not, rather both of you sit and talk it over. Consider the advantages and disadvantages before asking the person over. Be blunt if the need arises and like I ealier said have a policy to govern you. This I believe will help, 'cos it sure have helped others.
2006-08-28 03:39:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless your helping to take care of some family member that is sick I would just let them know that this is not working out. Tell them they need to find a place to go. If it's your in laws you need to talk to your spouse. It's enough to make a marriage work in the first place without the added family members. I can understand helping someone out until they get back on their feet, but 7 1\2 yrs. should be plenty of time for that. You and your husband need and deserve to have a life to yourself.
2006-08-28 03:32:59 · answer #3 · answered by sweet.pjs1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have lived with the dragon lady twice in my life and that's twice to long, i did it because we had no alternative its not easy I used to read a lot or watch TV in my bedroom, I pretty much did anything to keep the peace and as I was bought up to respect my elders i never told her how hurt I was by her word and actions, the dragon is a manipulative control freak the upside was that she couldn't hide her dislike for me and our marriage from her son for very long after we moved in so he got to see what she was really like and realized that when I went to him about the things she said about me or us I wasn't making it up.
2006-08-28 03:32:40 · answer #4 · answered by Just Thinking 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me. I have in laws living with me like a parasit, free rent, food, no help around the house. I told her to move out and stop ruining my life.
2006-08-28 03:28:07 · answer #5 · answered by gelo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move out. Buy a condo or house. Ask to borrow money from a relative, or a little from each(1-2k). Start saving a little money. You'll be suprised. It's worth it!
2006-08-28 03:27:37 · answer #6 · answered by Trinity 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my in law are not ion this world but when i got maried my father in was alive n he wanted to be with us but his wish fullfil just for three months only nd it never bothered me if he is alve it would help me more to save my married life
2006-08-28 03:26:10 · answer #7 · answered by ejaitly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋