i have a friend, 16. she was born with a heart disease (VSD). there've never been any health problems wid her. she's undergone a closure surgery at 14. she's perfectly normal now. is very intelligent, and multitalented.but the problem is that her family still takes her as a kid. kid means a little weak. she wants to go abroad to study after 12th grade. she is quite exceptional wid her personality, is smarter than her peers. if u luk at her, she seems very healthy.
but the hitch is tht her family considers her a bit immature. this fallacy of her family is affecting her psychologically. nowadays she has started getting quite depressed and frustrated.
however, she still is quite strong mentally and emotionally and sensibly but................what must she do to project herself differently in the eyes of her family. they love her a lot, but don't undertsand her
2006-08-27 20:10:48 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Surgery on any one at any age is a serious undertaking. She still is only 16, that is still pretty young. Because of her heart condition, her family has been very protective and will continue to be protective.
By 12th grade, she will be a little more mature. And if it is any consolation, many teenagers have bouts with depression and mood swings. Heart patients are notorious for mood swings.
A lot of things can change in one to two years, her family will see that she is progressing and becoming more mature.
Everyone just needs to give things a little more time. Hope this helps, good luck.
2006-09-04 19:39:25 · answer #1 · answered by Ding-Ding 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am sure the parents are treating her with kid gloves, not because they think she is immature, but because they love her. When a parent/s is in fear of losing a child, it brings out all kinds of protective behaviour. The worst thing that can happen to any parent is to lose their child. Any child born with a heart condition, does run the risk of dying or living a very short life. It has only been 2 years since this girl had heart surgery, so the parents would still be adjusting.
I think the best thing this girl could do, would be go talk to her heart specialist. Maybe the parents need to go with her, so as the specialist can assure these parents that the daughter's heart is fine now, and she can do everything a "normal" young girl can do without any risk to her life.
It doesnt matter how mature she projects herself to her parents...he parents need to be re-assured that she is healthy and normal, and a medical specialist would be the best person to do that. If it is not the specialist, tell the girl to see her family doctor, who will be more understanding and who could possibly talk to the parents for her Also if this girl is suffering depression, she could kill two birds with the one stone by discussing her problems with her family doctor.
2006-09-04 05:56:56 · answer #2 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me guess, this girl is you?
Anyway, the way she's treated could make her less independant and insecure when it comes to dealing with people and outside situations. Not to mention the depression part. She may eventually start thinking that she IS immature, or she might rebel and it may cause a rift between her and her parents. What could she do? She shuldn't try arguing with them because that would just prove that she IS immature to them. SHOW them that she's mature, by doing things around the house, taking responsibility, etc.
Because of her health problems and operation, the parents are probably a bit overprotective, so if she can prove to them that she's independant, that would be good.
2006-08-28 03:16:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend has to find the solution for. And you as a friend has to help her not to get depressed. She is intelligent and is your friend. You have to continually provide morale support so that she remains natural, full of verve, remains intelligent. Now the question is how to impress her parents. She can do by excelling over her brother or sister, doing jobs for her parents on her own, giving suggestions to the friends or parents which would smell intelligence and a mature mind, she can enter into some mature discussions with her parents, she can call her friends at home wherein the friends can praise her for her maturity and intelligence (when parenst are around). Simply she will have to become determined and calm and quiet and move methodically. An impression once made is hard to erase. It has to be done in a consisitent manner and might be for a longer period.
2006-08-28 03:20:58 · answer #4 · answered by Freddie 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She's 16 ... of course she's "a bit immature". If she wants to study abroad after grade 12, she has some time to make her case with the family. By that time of course she won't need their blessing ... unless she's doing it on their dime.
If she's allowing her family's thinking of her as immature to spiral her into a depression, then she IS immature. Tell her to place her focus on doing well in school and having some fun. Full maturity and her family's good opinion will follow.
2006-09-04 07:18:52 · answer #5 · answered by Myrna B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
her parents are being overprotective because they are afraid that they might lose her due to her heart condition. Parents always want to keep their kids safe no matter what the condtion is. Her parents need to trust her and let her go.Has anyone suggested family therapy?
2006-09-05 03:03:59 · answer #6 · answered by Red 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very tough situation.the concern of parents has to be understood and at the same time the aspirations of the girl to be understood..good and close friends of her can go and discuss the issue with her parents after taking the consent of he girl .you can take the help of an understanding teacher also along with you.
2006-08-28 03:18:21 · answer #7 · answered by trishul60 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my mother always said "no matter how old u are, ur always a kid in my eyes." this may explains her parents' behavior.
writing a love letter may works
2006-09-05 02:55:44 · answer #8 · answered by sara 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who be 'da one tha taulk you to speke?. iv she taulk lik you it be no wunder tha don't understand hur
2006-09-05 01:45:42 · answer #9 · answered by stacypeacock1967 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
pehaps if she could tutor you with your english, her family would see she has matured. maybe its her friends that they look and judge her based on the fact they feel her friends are ignorant, and they must continue to shelter her, until she ditches the ghetto blasters!
2006-08-28 03:15:13 · answer #10 · answered by evanlah 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋