how will you know if he is the one???

Answer 1

nice article for the married, soon to be married, and waiting to be
married... Food for thought and in the words of Fr. Pedro Arrupe, SJ:

THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said,
"How do I know if I married the right person?"

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?"
In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"
Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's
weighing on your mind. Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with
your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked
their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a
completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO
anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... because it's
happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the
imagery of that ___expression. It implies that you were just standing
there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the
natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls
become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome
(when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute,
drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you
think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference
between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry
subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry
the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria
of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with
someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their
spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is
the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a
friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It
lies within it.I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You
could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same
situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S
LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER
just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make"
it day in and day out. That's why we have the ___expression "the labor of
love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly,
it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific
things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity),
there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise
program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your
relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and
effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable...
you can "make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... not just a feeling.

Answer 2

The acid test : Mutual understanding and kindred tastes and aspirations. After all he is going to be your husband for life if not the father of your children. So you are right to want to know if he is the righ one.

Have you guys quarreled before ? To me how a couple make up after that is very telling about their relationship. Who makes the first move ? Is the feeling mutual ? Is there anger but also a readiness to restore the harmony ? If both are willing to do that or is doing that then i think your relationship is very healthy.

Definitely a must to share the same ideals and ideas when it comes to family and finances. The 2 is and the 2 fs. The sum of the parts must be greater than the whole. Do you feel and vice versa, that when the 2 of you are together you are more than 2 persons strength. Maybe even 10. You feel you can conquer any mountain.

If you feel you do not know him that well, then i suggest, test the relationship in all sorts of activities, like you see on "amazing race" type of thing.

The wedding ceremony is but a graduation ceremony of courting. The real job if marriage comes after that.

Answer 3

For me it was experinece with a lot of jerks before I met my Prince Charming!! My man treats me like a princess, opens the car door for me, always askes me if I need anything, takes care of me, respects me, treats me like a person, an equal, listens to me, supports me, he's really my best friend. This is very mutual between us and we know we have to work at it to make it last!

We were friends for 12 years before we got together, so that really helped. Everything about us feels right, I do not have any second thoughts about our relationship, NONE at all!! He's the one, I just know it!

We're getting married this year!

Answer 4

I thought every single one of my boyfriends and an ex-husband
were "the one". Shows how much I know. lol

Answer 5

its kinda hard to tel. i know we girls wish guys wld come wit a tag.. :) "time pass" ,"marriage material" etc.. but i guess u know if he repects u,has never cheated on u, understand u,puts u first and cares about u... then may be he is

Answer 6

i always used to ask myself that question about boyfriends. then i met my now husband, i really did just know. i know that's obnoxious but its how i felt

Answer 7

You'll just KNOW and you won't be asking this question.

Answer 8

You can feel it!