my boyfriend pulling the plug?

Question

had a deep conversation with my boyfriend. I told him that i would want him to pull the plug if something was ever to happen to me or if i died i would not want DNR. I put it down on paper and it was notarized. I was thinking is it wrong for me to give him the right or should have left it up to my parents. Who would make a decision based on emotions. I have been with my boyfriend for a while that I trust him to make the right decision. All in all i am asking should have left this decision to my parents or my boyfriend. please no stupid *** comments.

In the state of Mass you can have anyone be your next of kin as long as it is written down.

Answer 1

Your parents should be the ones to do it. Unless the guy is your husband, I wouldn't turn over that sort of power. You know your parents love you unconditionally and would do the right thing by you no matter what the circumstances. Plus, why put your boyfiend in that position. What if he wanted to do something completely against your parents wishes. Does Teri Schivo ring any bells?

Answer 2

A DNR is an order that says Do Not Resuscitate. Generally this means take no extraordinary measures to preserve your life. You cannot be intubated and even CPR will not be performed. This is generally usually used for a patient with a terminal illness and requires the signatures of your doctor and witnesses.

What you may be needing is a living will or advance directives and a power of attorney for health care. Advance directives specifically say what you do and do not want. A power of attorney puts the responsibility of that decision on someone else. Without these your parents, spouse, or adult children would make healthcare decisions for you if you lose your ability to do so.

You do not give your age or any information about what your current health is. That information would be helpful to anyone wanting to give an honest opinion about whether your parents or bf should make decisions for you. Whoever you choose as your healthcare proxy make sure it is someone you trust with your life quite literally! Do discuss this with other family members to avoid any complications.

Answer 3

In all honesty, if you want to leave the decision up to a person, then until you are married, you should leave the decision up to your parents. I think you meant "if i died I would not want CPR". Not wanting DNR means that you *want* to be resuscitated.

You should get what's called an Advanced Directive. This is a paper that expresses YOUR wishes should anything happen to you. If you're in a coma, if you code, etc etc. Talk to your doctor, he or she can help you fill that out.

This way, you won't have to worry about the decision being left up to a person. Instead, you have laid your wishes out way ahead of time.

And, no offense, but if you leave it up to your boyfriend, your parents can have that notarized contract challenged in court and win. It doesn't matter what state you're in. The only paper that they can NOT challenge and win is an Advanced Directive.

Answer 4

This is a completely personal decision. In my case, I made my sister responsible for the medical decisions if I am unable. This is because I do not trust my parents to respect my wishes and I know my sister will. If you have told your parents about this arrangment, they are probably upset. The question is who will fight harder for your desires? Will your parents respect your wishes? When you answer this question, keep in mind the Terri Schiavo case. He was fighting her parents and the government to take the action he promised her he would do. Will your boyfriend stand up and fight, or will he crumble? What about your parents? You are the only one who can decide if you made the right decision.

Answer 5

You should have left the decision to your parents. You can change your decision and leave the decision in the hands of your parents. This is a big decision and unless you don't trust your parents, it should be done by a close relative.

Answer 6

maximum probable he did better than in simple terms pull the plugs. exceedingly if he grow to be the guy who advised you he pulled the plugs. Are you advantageous the firing order is genuine? He would have disconnected the ignition coil or the rest... once you assert he pulled spark plugs, do you propose he used a socket and ratchet and surely took the spark plugs out? Or he in simple terms disconnected the spark plug wires?

Answer 7

I think you should leave it up to your parents until you are married. I feel the same way (no DNR, so life support) but as your parents, they might not honor your wishes because it will be too difficult for them. Still, things with yor BF are not sealed by law so I would go with family. What about a sibling?

Answer 8

I would definitely NOT have left it to your boyfriend. If you were to have an arguement he would not be likely to have your best interests at heart.

Leaving it to your parents would be the wisest choice. They have a vested interest in your continued well-being and are most likely to honor your best wishes for the long-term at this point. A decision like that is too big and valuable to trust to someone who is not related - not committed to you for the long haul.

Answer 9

I believe I would have left the decision to my parents. Your boyfriend may love you and things, but your not legally married. So, I think the decision should be let to your parents.

Answer 10

your parents will always be there for you. no matter how much you trust your boyfriend to make the right decision, things can happen in the future that you cannot forsee now. i think it is just safer to stick with your parents. please make sure you write explicit instructions to what you want to avoid a terry schiavo situation!

you could even just have your wishes notarized and put it in a safety deposit box. that way if it happens, your lawyer can refer the doctors to it.