SIPPING VODKA
This is too funny - I still have tears in my eyes! Finally, a chain letter that I don't mind forwarding.
It's funny (don't break chain)
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, " When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice.
At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:
1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2)There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3)There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4)Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5)Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ***.
6)We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7)The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.
8)David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him.
9)When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ***.
10)We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say " Eat me" .
12)The Virgin Mary is not called " Mary with the Cherry,.
13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at ST.Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
2006-08-27 16:55:42 · 14 answers · asked by basscatcher 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
oh my god that is to funny i actualy have somewhere a copy of that which i aquired from my great grandmother when she passed away about 17 years ago, thanx for bringing it back too me, i sure did love my nana
2006-08-27 17:01:26 · answer #1 · answered by chereeder 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you had me in splits right from the start of the note. My 10 year old son wanted to why I was laughing so lound and when I didn't answer, he innocently asked my wife who had just come into the roo-"Mama has papa gone mad?"
'ats a god one!
Lifes' Lovely! Love & Live Life!
st
2006-08-28 07:28:43 · answer #2 · answered by Starreply 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a catholic and I think it's hysterical.... Mary with the Cherry... lol
2006-08-28 00:06:29 · answer #3 · answered by Squishygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I heard this one before. Its funny, alright.
2006-08-28 00:03:38 · answer #4 · answered by Dawn Treader 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm... LOL Classic jokes
2006-08-28 00:32:30 · answer #5 · answered by Pd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heard this one before & I love it.
I was raised Catholic & I can see that happening!!!
2006-08-27 23:59:18 · answer #6 · answered by Ruthie1959 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im not catholic so i really dont understand the terminology. but its easy to understand the humour.
2006-08-27 23:59:43 · answer #7 · answered by ness 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
haha...i love being a catholic ⥠⥠â¥
luv #11...
2006-08-28 00:13:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL...that made me laugh.
2006-08-28 00:01:59 · answer #9 · answered by markus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha!!! Good one!
2006-08-27 23:59:33 · answer #10 · answered by Edgar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋