Would u still be friends with ur ex-bf?

Question

My bf and me just broke up. He still wants us to be friends coz we have known each other for 5 years and we have gone through a lot of difficult times together. Im not ready to be friends with him. We were having long-distance relationship for the past 1 1/2 yr. Recently, he told me that he met someone and that actually caused us to really break-up. It hurts me a lot even though i know it was impossible for us to be together anymore as we are from different religion background.

Answer 1

It will get easier with time. By ex-bf left me after over 10 years together...we were good friends before that too. He said he wanted us to still be good friends. Well, as time went on, he stopped calling except for a token call every few weeks and those were pretty short. He didn't acknowledge my birthday, nothing for Christmas, etc. He got married (to a 'friend' he was 'helping' thru a difficult time when he left me) a year and a half after he moved out and still hasn't told me that they were even dating (that was over a year ago that they married). I am still hurt but I know he's the loser. This probably hasn't helped you at all, but I guess my point is: hang in there and just see how things go. I know it's hard losing a friend, but it does get easier as time goes by. Good luck...

Answer 2

I would tell him that you can't be friends with him right now, and see what happens in the future. If all are meant to have any relationship at all (friendship or more) then it will happen. I believe everything happens for a reason. Take a break from him, and try to keep your mind elsewhere because you will keep thinking about it, and get more and more mad at him. So just keep yourself distanced from him for a little bit. I hope this helps a little bit. Good luck.

Answer 3

Of course you should be friends.I have an ex and we were together for 6 years. We broke up because of something similar. wait a few months and let the pain go away, touch base off and on but definitley stay friends. My ex and I are still so close and we dont love each other that way anymore, but we advise each other on so much. dont throw the friendship away because the relationship didnt work.

Answer 4

It sounds like its too soon, maybe one day you could be friends....
I once read a checklist in a magazine, if you answer yes to any, you're not ready to be friends yet. I cant remember them all I can really only remember 2!

Do you still have feelings for him? Would you see him & want to be closer to him?
Could you handle the though of him having a new girl, really? talking about it or seeing it....

Sounds like you're still really hurting, I think a he-tox is the way to start, no contact 4 a while... When you dont see your ex you start to heal quicker, but when you see him it usually sets you back to square one, opening the wound... good luck

Answer 5

You know this has got to stop. It should not matter what religion you have, LOVE IS LOVE and it can work if you make it work. If you feel you can not be friend because you still care for him or even love him then tell him that. Let him know how you really deeply feel and then if he still wants to let you go then fine. But atleast you have said what you needed to say and what ever decision he makes, It was him who made it and he can not be upset when true love knocks on your door and carries you off. He has to wake up and realize what he has with you and if itsn;t worth it for him to stay then let him go. I bet there is a guy hiding behind the sidelines waiting for you to be FREE, Good luck

Answer 6

well for me, im still friends with all my exes, but of course, the situation is very different. i think there needs some time between this break up and whenever you can start to feel comfortable with him as a friend. for me, it took like almost a year to settle things, and we started cracking jokes with each other again. but since youre far apart, it may be even more difficult to stay as friends. but just let time handle the situation.

Answer 7

no, whats the reason for the break up then? if there is going to be a friendship, dont you think it would be hard to see that same person again knowing you had more then what there is now? well, think about it. and like you said, your not ready to be friends. and you might never be ready, and he might want to be freinds right away. i went out with someone for almost 4 years. he wanted to be friends, and i did not. he ended up stalking me and calling my family members to see how i was doing. it will just make things wierd. anyway, its your decision, hope the advice helps

Answer 8

Yah, you should probably stay friends. 5 years is a long time to totally throw away.
You should have already suspected that it would be very hard to keep a long distance relationship going.
And besides, you already you knew you wouldn't be together forever anyways--friendship is the best thing.
Good luck, Mike

Answer 9

Sure! You've gotten this far, why shatter all contact now?

An ex can be a great friend. He might not have had just the right chemistry with you.

Or he might find this new girl isn't what he thought.

And religion? I know a lot of inter-religious marriages that are happy and healthy.

Answer 10

It's not advisable especially if it was a sexual relationship. If there is some familial benefit to keeping in touch, for example, locating a mutual friend or family member near him...that would be the only reason. Personally, I see no reason to continue. Close that chapter in your life and move yourself into the present and future. It wasnt meant to be.