why cant i get over my sons death through sucied 5 years aGO?

Question

dont understand,why he done what he done,no warnings.
i loved my son,his sucied,ended my life my life was my
kids.

Answer 1

He is you. The key is to still love the good in your son.

Answer 2

Honey, it's hard to accept when someone we love goes away. There's nothing more final than suicide. He was hurting. A part of him was something you really didn't know about. Who knows? You can try to understand but you are a mother and you are in pain. What I have to ask you is what can you do with that pain? Let it define you, let it become your whole life? Or can you work past the guilt and the hurt, and become a productive member of society once again? Be a wife, lover to your man, a woman unto yourself, mother to your other kids if you have any? If you don't, perhaps you should see a licensed therapist. You have to let go of the pain and know that he's in a better place. He's no longer in any pain. You have to move forward and perhaps you are afraid to let go of that pain because that's all you have of him left. Don't think that. Remember the time you did have with your child and honor his memory by doing some positive things with your life.

Answer 3

The painful thing about suicides is that those left behind always have unanswered questions. The one thing that is clear is that for anyone to go to that place where death seems the only way out, surely we all must realize that that person had to have been in so much pain that they must have felt that no one would understand, much less be able to help them resolve their issues. It always seems sudden and without warning, but there are clues that we don't see until it's too late. No one likes to think someone we love or know is capable of suicide, but it happens and no one is to blame.

I don't think there is anything anyone can do or say to ease your pain and sorrow. He was, afterall you own flesh and blood, but try to be brave and look to the future. Know that your son is at peace. He didn't mean to hurt you.

Answer 4

Because guilt can be a terrible lying voice telling you how much more you should've done, could've done, better have done, when in reality... you not only weren't at fault for his action (as far as it looks like), nor could you keep up with his life and yours at the same time.

Guilt is something that keeps telling you that you're in "it's" debt, even though you did nothing wrong to end up in it to begin with. If he chose to end his life here, willingly, then you had no part in that.

If you flat out knew, and it just "slipped your mind" then...something might be up, but it doesn't sound like that. Don't let guilt lie to you or control you regarding the maladies of another person, especially your son.

Properly grieve for the loss, of course, as this will change your life as you know it forever, but don't let it change for the negative. Grow from what this experience has taught, even if it's little by little, and keep marching forward at your own pace day by day with guidance and support.

Answer 5

I am sorry for your loss.

It does sound that you are living in the past and not the present. There is a time for grieving and then a time to let go. The time has come for you to start living in the present. Think positive thoughts, and be in the moment. By this I mean really being in the present. If someone is talking with you, don't day dream, and half listen, really listen to what they are saying. When at work, don't just waste your day, but work, and be in the moment. When you are living in today, your tomorrows will be much brighter.

All the best.

Answer 6

Warm thoughts are with you. Some questions we have in life just cannot be answered or understood. Don't even try. Give yourself time to heal. You will never forget your son, but you may feel stronger inside as time goes on.

Use your feelings positively. When you think of him and you feel saddened - don't question anything, tell yourself to stop trying to understand why; there is no answer - think of a good time you had with him - a fun memory - a loving incident. Your brain is not capable of thinking of two things at one time for too long. When you stop asking "why" and train your self to think of the good things he was to you and you to him - you will find a gentle peace growing within your self.

Answer 7

You used the word kids. I am going to guess that you have other children. Now live your life for them. Suicide is a difficult thing to get over. I dont think you will ever get over it however you can make a difference. Start a charity in your sons name to teach awareness of suicide or even use the money to start a hotline in your area for people to call when they are suicidal. I think this would be a way to keep him apart of your life. Also, then his life wouldnt be ended in vein. I am sorry for your loss. Keep your head up and remember one day at a time.

Answer 8

your son loved you but he obviously had deep feelings that he couldn't cope with alone, and maybe didn't want to worry or burden you with. you'll never get over losing him because he is a part of you. as long as he lives in your heart and mind then he hasnt gone.

just a thought... why not look into spiritualism, you might get some answers as to why he ended his life? dont be scared, you might find it helps to ease the pain a very little bit? if you look in the right places there are some very gifted people who can 'get in touch' with the deceased. a spiritualist church may be a good place to start as you will be offered help and guidance once you have explained your situation. some may be sceptical but they have never experienced or tried to understand this faith, its just like any other faith- its your beliefs, thoughts and wishes.

i hope this helps in some way.

Answer 9

Oh sweetie. Hugs, hugs, and more hugs.

Death is never easy,and when it comes to someone young and by their own hand, it is almost unbearable.

Five years has been enough time to live in grief though. Your son is probably very unhappy with you that you are still in emotional turmoil. How can his spirit heal, when he knows yours is still bleeding????

It was this thought which helped me get through the death of my husband.

Soooo...go out into the backyard, or to a place yiou feel close to him, and ask his permission to let go of all the grief ,and get on with the business of living again. Your other kids need their mom, and you need to laugh again.

Hugs,hugs, hugs.

Answer 10

You can never get over something like that. You can learn to let them go with prayers of love and rest. I think this must be the worst thing that can happen to a parent. My heart goes out to you!
We never get all the answers and I think that is where faith comes in! I would try and seek a support group where you don't feel so isolated, many hospitals and community's offer this.
I have lost 3 baby's, two were stillborn, I will never get over this so I just have to let go and trust God to take care of them! I carry them always in my heart! My prayers for you and deepest regards!
You need support!

Answer 11

You still feel responsible for your son in his death just as when he was alive! But as loving and caring and great as you probably are as a parent --You CANNOT KNOW EVERYTHING that is going on in your kids minds. They are so good at covering up issues and we don't want them to hurt so we hope that everything is ok.Please forget the guilt of not knowing and being able to protect him from his fears and pain that drove him to do this.You must get back to living and love the remainder of your family like there is no tomorrow! Life evey day to the fullest and love every smile and hug you can get from your family. Remember your son on special days and on lonesome days but don't dwell on it until it gets you down. We never understand why things like this happen but we must go on. Live for yourself and your family. Your son would not want you to be like you are now. Live and love to the best of your ability! Best wishes for a happier future.