question about sex life?

Question

I'm a twenty one year old Christian...I am still a virgin but I am just a little courious about a converstation that a friend and myself had--If two Christian people love each other get married, is it wrong for them to explore things sexually what is against Christian beliefs about this?? Do they have to stick strictly to 'missinary possition' or can they explore things?? Can they only make love in their bed with the lights out?? in other words what is too far to go as a married Christian couple? Please only serious answers, no stupid or rude remarks.

Answer 1

As far as I know, there aren't really any rules on sex. I think they're more culture-specific, not really religion based (Christians from all over the globe have different sets of accepted sexual practices). You'd be surprised at the broad spectrum of the acceptable and the taboo sexual practices.

I do know, however, that even if couples are married, they still have boundaries. It doesn't really matter what religion they belong to. For instance, marital rape is definitely a no-no. Also, what is "too far" can't be determined by religion alone because different people interpret religious teachings according to different contexts (culture, family background, media exposure, etc.). The best way to answer this would be to examine your own beliefs about sex. Not having had a sexual encounter before only means that you will have to explore other avenues of knowledge regarding this topic. You may ask your pastor / priest, or parents AS LONG AS you feel you can trust them and can discuss sensitive matters like this.

Answer 2

Don't know the exact chapter and verse, but there is a verse in Hebrews (may be in Chapter 11 or 12) that says the "marriage bed is undefiled". That would seem to mean you are free to explore sexually within the confines of your marriage. I would also keep in mind the "love chapter" of I Corinthians 12, which has something to tell us about all relationships, but can also be applied to our sexual relationship within marriage. Namely, true love for another person will be expressed in particular ways. If your partner ever violated any of these in the pursuit of this exploration, then he would be expressing himself to you in an un-Christlike manner.

I'm glad you asked this; the Bible has an answer for us on every matter, including sex within marriage. This has always been God's design for sex, it's just another thing we've mucked up since the fall.

Answer 3

Hi There, You have a good question there. But I believe when two people love each other no matter what the religion is, it should never be an issue when your intimate with your partner. When two hearts join together it should be beautiful and peaceful away from the everyday world! Making love should be fun. If there is something your not comfortable with let your parnter know that doesn't suit you...Exploring is what Man is good at, it keeps us alive!

Answer 4

Once married a couple can do whatever the hell position they want during sex. Religion should not play any role at all regarding a couple's sexual enjoyment. Christians are humans so I'm sure they do it all just like the rest of us. That includes doggy style, missionary, position 69, blowj, oral sex which I think every human being on this planet should get to experience and many others.

Answer 5

I think it is a good rule of thumb to explore ones mental motivations when trying to decide what is 'right' and what is 'wrong'.

If your mental motivation was to inflict pain or somehow demean the person it would be wrong. If it is done from a place of loving exploration of each other, there would be nothing wrong with it.

In fact, if staying only with the missionary style turns the act into a mechanical act *that* would be wrong.

You have to be careful following rules only for the rules sake.

Answer 6

For one.....What happens between married couple stays with the couple...U both do what ever u both enjoy....and sex is not a gift nor is it used for increasing the species,,,it is a act between two people that they do for pleasure and with the special ones its a act of expressing love. birth control is ok,,,don't let others say its a sin..there wrong plain and simple, Also with a married couple any position that the couple enjoy is ok,,,,and honestly i read one of the others say anal bad,,,,lol if ur both comfortable with it,,,try it..in the bedroom u should keep it fresh and alive and for the love of the Goddess after ur done.....hold that person and tell them u love them and makes sure the pleasure of love is enjoyed and make sure both of u are satisfied. Do this and ur marriage will be happy. just alittle tibit.....love like today last.......love the one u love like it the last time u will be with them....never be afraid to say ur sorry,,,,,and just love and don't let others run ur life or tell u whats wrong or right in the bedroom....its ur life...and life is short,,

Answer 7

Common discussion.

Twenty year old Christian, youth ministry student, still a virgin, so I understand where you're coming from.

My belief is that when a man and a woman become married...well, that means he is hers and she is his. Obviously there are lines that should not be crossed (sexual abuse, etc.), but my belief is that you are married and sex is a gift from God which is to be enjoyed...Nowhere in the Bible is it prohibited to have sex, nor does it say to keep sex in the missionary position.

Thus, I believe you are free to "explore" however you choose, because a man and a woman become one flesh after marriage.

Answer 8

it's really up to you and your man if you want to wait for sex, it's on how you both feel. as for positions and the lights. You may enjoy each other any way you wish as long as it is not against the law. There is no where in the bible that Say's you can not, People that say that are scared to try or had a bad experience. Enjoy your life together.

Answer 9

When you get married, you and your spouse agree to stick to the same story. You only tell people about the missionary sex, because sex is really something you do `coz you have to ...

... like using the restroom; I've only ever heard of "sitting on" the toilet, and that's the story you tell when you leave the restroom---but that doesn't stop you from doing anything else (as long as no one sees any evidence of it)/

Answer 10

I'm married and my husband and I are firm believers in passionate monogamy. Take a look at the book of Song of Solomon. If you use your imagination, you realize that God is pretty open on what you do in the bedroom.

The rule we use is that as long as it is private between us and both of us are in agreement and it won't be painful to either of us or tear down the other person mentally, anything goes!!