How can I deal with my dad?

Question

Basically, my dad goes through two kinds of moods. For very long stretches, I'll be the perfect daughter. {I'm pretty damn bright, challenge myself academically, take on lots of responsibilities, etc.} He'll be kind and inquisitive as to my life and my friends.

However, he'll then push into these erratic, extremely foul periods where everything out of his mouth is a nasty name or an insult. Tonight, he accused me {'clandestinely'} of "f---ing up everything and being a f---head".

He does this to everyone in my immediate family. Any time I confront him about it, he gets frighteningly angry or waves it off and insults me again.

What the hell can I do? My mom isn't willing to actually do anything to change his behavior, and he scares my sister too much in those bad moods for her to be any kind of help.

Answer 1

That really does sound like a mood disorder. Unless he seeks medical help, there is nothing you can do except understand that you are not to blame, and what he says when he has a foul period isn't true. Have you thought about maybe recording an episode and asking him to watch it when he's in a normal mood? He literally may have no idea how badly he acts, and actually seeing it may press home his need to get help.

Answer 2

It sounds like your dad may need some counseling for depression due to some family or personal problems. Could he have some sort of personal issue that causes him to be angry and take his anger out on his family? Speak to your mother about the possibility of getting to the bottom of dad's bad mood reflections on everyone in the family. He might be suffering from something that is unrelated to what you are doing -- ranging from midlife crisis to alcohol/drug dependency to BIPOLAR DISORDER that involves extreme mood changes. Encourage mom to get him to a medical professional with good psychological diagnostic knowledge for a COMPLETE evaluation.

Answer 3

Tell your family doctor! Ask for help in notifying the appropriate authorities, your safety could be at risk . It seems to me that your father may have a drug or alcohol problem or have some mental health problem. He needs help! But more than that, you and your sister do not have to be subjected to his abuse . If yhour mother won't intervene, take yhou and your sister off to a trusted relative, and ask to remain there until your parents address this, whatever it is that has your dad behaving in such an erratic manner.

Answer 4

I wouldn't presume to jump to a diagnosis based on so little anecdotal evidence, but it does sound like a professional should be consulted regarding a mood disorder or substance abuse problem. It may take a major family and friends intervention to make that happen. Good luck!

Or is it possible that you are blowing this out of proportion? Just checking.

Answer 5

What type of maximum cancers? there are various of help communities, examine including your community hospital and/or family individuals MD. in case you imagine chatting with a psychologist or psychiatrist should succeed, do not hesitate - it does not recommend you're mentally ill, it means you want someone that can help you you and someone you are able to communicate confidentially with about your inner maximum innovations. one in all my mom and father also had maximum cancers - after 7 years, they were considered a survivor and are nevertheless round now after virtually 2 many years. The more effective you already study about this kind of maximum cancers, the more effective you are able to take care of the precedence. It also feels like you opt for a spoil - please take a at the same time as off and relax.

Answer 6

He has a mental problem--bi polar disorder. Sometimes he's in a good mood and is energetic and at other times he's depressed and is down and in a nasty mood. Learn about this disorder on the internet and ask your counselor or pastor for counseling.

Answer 7

Keep doing your best and challenging yourself with every chance you get. All it will do is prepare you for your future. Realize that if you are doing all that you can.....he has the problem, not you, and try to get along with him as best you can. This includes staying as far out of his face as you can when he is "on one".

My question for you is how old are you? If you are nearing the age of 18, then just get yourself ready to take care of yourself as soon as you can. Life is hard but often good people come into our lives who help us when things get sticky. Let your friends help as much as they can.

Good Luck!
You can do it. "He" will help................if you ask.

Answer 8

Ah, good old BiPolar disorder.

I honestly suggest he gets therapy and is put on meds. My stepfather -- who I live with -- has this problem. As does my sister Dorothy. Dorothy was on meds for a while, but, decided she didn't need them, and went back to being the way you described.

Find a way to get him into therapy.

Otherwise, ignore what he says. You're not perfect, you're human. But you're doing your damned best.

Answer 9

I know it is hard. My father was well a drunk, but only during parties or events. We took him to a few meetings and at first were very scary. I had a coach that helped me. Sometimes you just need to say hey i'm a kid, you're the adult, you need to take care of yourself before you can take care of me.

Answer 10

You can never change another person's behavior. They must want to change and it sounds like your Dad is fine they way he is.

It would be nice if your Mom confronted him but maybe she has her reasons why she doesn't

When your Dad starts acting awful....remove yourself from wherever he is. You may even try to say "Dad I don't like it when
you talk to me like that and call me names."

If he isn't violent that's about all you can do.....remember nothing lasts forever and you will soon be old enough to leave.