Why do I feel depressed all the time?

Question

I mean, I go to a top university and I do well. I am going to go to graduate school. My dad is partly helping me out financially. And I have a loving sometimes long-distance boyfriend. I have a few close friends; I party with many acquaintances; I get asked out a lot, and complimented, but I still feel that I lack in many areas.

I just dislike how cynical I am; how depressing I can be...and it makes me depressed....why? Is this just my personality or what? I think I care too much about what others think and I am very self-critical. I like being alone too...yet it makes me feel more depressed...what is wrong with me? How do I fix cynicism, etc.?

When I am out with others, I also feel lonely. I feel lonely when I am alone and with others...what is up with that?

Answer 1

You are not self critical you are self absorbed. Think about someone else. Do some volunteer work. Give back.

Answer 2

There is many different types of depression. The person you would want to talk to is a psychiatrist. A psychiatrist can put you on the right medications to help you feel better. Just realize that an anti depression medication can take up to 2 weeks to start working properly. Good luck and I hope you feel better!

Answer 3

it's OK to feel depressed once in a while and to see and question what is the point of life. but if you feel depressed all the time then maybe you need to see someone in mental health to see if you have something more serious. is it maybe the long distance relationship with your boyfriend making you depressed? if it is maybe you should think about it and see if you are really in love with him and is it worth the Long distance. you are probably a great individual it's just that sometime we all go through depressing moods. i hope you feel better

Answer 4

If you feel depressed "all the time" then you probably are depressed. Realizing that you have a problem is the first step. Knowing that you need help before you are completely submerged in a black hole is a good thing.

Consider seeing a doctor and telling them exactly what you wrote here. Just talking about it with a doctor won't hurt.

Good Luck

Answer 5

It really is all about your choices. You need to choose to be positive and push negative thoughts right out of your head. It works for me. I've also set a rule that I will not allow myself to drop beyond a normal level. Here's another thing, you may be able to justify negative emotions, but ask yourself this question. Is it ever worth it? This is your life. Do you want to live happy or sad? That doesn't mean never be sad, just don't dwell on it. Deal and move on.

Answer 6

I think many people can relate to how you feel, but choose not to say anything and continue to live their lives being cynical and depressed. Kudos to you for reaching out and seeking insight into what's going on!

I know I can definitely relate to what you're experiencing. For the past two years, I was enrolled in an Ivy League institution and I was getting really high marks. I was involved in many different organizations and seemingly had lots of friends, but I often felt super-lonely and critical of myself (in terms of academics, appearance, etc.).

You mention that you are cynical--what does that mean? How does this cynicism play itself out? How often do you think cynical thoughts? Do these thoughts turn into negative thoughts about yourself? If so, how? How do the cynical thoughts lead to your feeling "depressed"? Does it make you sad or angry that you have these thoughts, or is it something more than that? Have you always been cynical, or is this a more recent thing (how long?)?

Being critical of oneself is something that I think many people go through--I know I certainly do! What types of things are you critical about? How long have you been critical of yourself? Do others think your criticism has any basis (e.g., you may think you're "stupid" because you missed a question on an exam, but your professors think you're doing really well because you set the curve)? Self-criticism is a really tricky thing, I think, because there are many people who believe they are perfect and could use a dose of humility, and then there are people who are actually doing quite well, but feel as though they aren't "good enough" and are constantly criticizing themselves.

I think everyone likes being alone sometimes--for some, it is a way to refuel or to get things done that otherwise couldn't get done with so many people around. How often do you like being alone? Why does being alone make you more depressed? What kinds of thoughts go through your mind when you are alone? Why do you like being alone? Have you turned down invitations by friends and acquaintances to hang out because you just wanted to be alone? What was your reasoning for that? What do you do when you are alone?

I really think that those things in and of themselves (cynicism, self-criticism, and being alone) don't conclusively lead to anything. I think they can, however, become something more serious due to the duration and intensity of them. I think something that may be helpful for you is to seek professional help. Going to talk to a therapist does NOT mean that you have some sort of a disorder or anything, it is just a way for you to discuss with something things that are going on in your life and to get support from that person. That person, because he or she is a professional, will be able to give you more insight into what's going on and refer you to different resources if he/she feels that they would be helpful for you.

There are more things for you to think about and answer: How is your eating and sleeping schedule? Are you eating more or less or sleeping more or less than before? What are some things you enjoy doing and have you been able to do them or enjoy them lately? How are classes going? Have you been attending them and getting your readings and homework done? How is your long-distance relationship? I'm sure that must be really hard--do you get to talk often? How has that been affecting you? How about family--are they close by? Are they people you feel comfortable talking to about emotional things?

I know that you may wish that you can just do something to "fix" something in yourself, for example, the cynicism. However, if there is something more that's going on, you'll have to fix that other thing first. The cynicism, self-criticism, and being alone may just be symptoms of something that's bigger--or they may not. I would really recommend going to talk to someone. I don't know if you're familiar with your school's student health services, but I am 99% positive that they have some sort of counseling and psychological services for students that is free and confidential. Please take advantage of that--I am sure you will be able to get more insight into what's going on.

Take care.

Answer 7

Its okay. I may be smiling all the time, but I'm always hurting inside. And I have reasons to be sad. See a therapist. You may have depression. Through seeing a professional I found out that I have bipolar disorder. They may be able to treat it with medicine.

Answer 8

maybe they are not the people u are comfortable with. i feel like this around so called pals. depression is not about being not successful. it's about having a chemical imbalance. u need to see a therapist. there is an online therapist at metanoia.org. also try depression-helper.com. try holisticonline.com and 1stholistic.com. God will help you. contact me [e-mail]. i know how you feel.

Answer 9

Start saying positive things to yourself about yourself and your life. Even if you don't believe them at first, you have to keep doing it so you can retrain your mind not to always think negatively. After awhile, you will find that your first reaction to everything won't be a negative one all the time.

Answer 10

I started out just like you.

I graduated to multiple suicide attempts.

Fix it before it gets out of control.

Get a good shrink.

Get on good drugs.

I find that a combination of
Effexor
Kolonopin
and Remaron
work best for me.