He didn't know I could get pregnant and he wanted me to get rid of it but, I decided to keep it. He says he wants nothing to do with it but, will pay child support.
Can I get state aid if I don't put a father on the birth certificate?
We were friends before this happened and now he doesn't want anything to do with me.;
Should I give the baby his last name?
2006-08-27 13:25:53 · 25 answers · asked by ? 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
The wife already knows. Because we were friends, I had talked about being on the pill previously. This was a one night mistake.
2006-08-27 13:36:19 · update #1
you need to see an attorney right away.
the father can be on the birth certificate without you giving the baby his last name. don't give a kid the name of a father its never going to see
2006-08-27 23:08:06 · answer #1 · answered by kitkat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes. yes you should give the baby his last name. He is the babies father and besides if something happens to him the child can collect benefits from social security. Yes you can get state aid if you don't have a father on the certificate but they still will want to know WHO the father is eventually. You may do better collecting child support than relying on the state. You knew that man was married and if he is treating you like this when you need him the most, he was never your FRIEND to begin with. Why does state aid need to be an option anyway? Did you think he would welcome the child with open arms? Why would he, HES MARRIED and by the sound of it, not a good husband or father. You can do bad by yourself. Make him pay for his child. If he doesn't want anything to do with the baby, that is his lost. As for you, please learn from your mistakes, don't mess around with men that belong to other women.
2006-08-27 13:36:07 · answer #2 · answered by Queen J 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have no obligation to name the father on the birth certificate. But there is a catch 22 to that.
If you don't, you will get state aid, but there is nothing stopping the father from not paying support. He could question the paternity and deny it, and it would become a drawn-out process of getting a court ordered paternity test done to prove otherwise.
If you do name him the father, you can get him to pay support, but the state will go after him for more because they will want their money. Any money they give to you for health care and support they will go to the father for.
My advice - go see an attorney and have them draw up a custody and support agreement. That way, it is a legal binding document that can be brought into a court of law if he doesn't hold up his end. You will also be able to find out what you can and can't do according to your state laws. It may cost you a little bit, but in the end it will be a saver.
2006-08-27 13:44:15 · answer #3 · answered by volleyballchick (cowards block) 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well just think if it this way, If you decide to pursue child support and put his last name on the birth certificate then he has every right to visit with the baby in his own home (weekend visitation) not because he is paying but because he is the biological father. Since the wife already knows do you think she will be good to your baby if this should happen? Just remember if he is not on the birth certificate he will not have any rights unless he demands them from you through court. What do you want, that's what you need to ask yourself. good luck
2006-08-28 07:49:57 · answer #4 · answered by Nikie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I had my baby I hyphenated her last name, I got the idea from my friend who did the same thing. Her reasoning is that when the child is old enough let them choose.
Also, is you put his name on the birth cert it is easier to get child support, if you don't it will still eventually get put on there if he decides to get a paternity test, which the state will offer him. Or he can just admit he is the father and be put on the cert.
Just so you know the exact same thing happened to me. My daughter got to know her father for a short amount of time after she was born but know he wants nothing to do with her. He was also never around when I was pregnant and his wife has convinced him that it is not his baby because she can't get pregnant.
Do what you want but always document everything and if you get any email or anything that says anything about the baby keep them. If he decides to try to get custody, it might help you in court.
2006-08-27 20:00:22 · answer #5 · answered by Princess 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Are you under age? I ask because of this comment "He didn't know i could get pregnant and he wanted me to get rid of it."
I'm sorry...but why did you find it necessary to mess with a married man? I'm not judging, I'd seriously like to know why women want someone else's husband.
Babies are a blessing from God, and the baby doesn't need to be penalized for the two of your mistakes. Both of you need to take care of this child financially. If you don't have a job, get one, you're going to be a parent. Go to your local Department of Children and Famlies, get yourself a caseworker, and make sure that you start getting things in order for the baby such as child support, etc.
It is his baby as well, and the baby deserves to have the last name of their father, DESPITE the two of you falling out. That's called making a grown up decision.
Whether he doesn't want anything to do with you now or not, he's obligated because of the baby unless He terminates all of his parental rights.
I do hope you have learned a lesson from this.
Blessings To Your Precious Baby
2006-08-27 13:59:32 · answer #6 · answered by Pastors Wife 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First you make me sick...you had no business sleeping with your friend's husband...go find your own, there was no valid reason in what happened. It was not a mistake...you both knew what you were doing. You could have said NO.
He has to pay child support no matter if you put his name on the birth certificate or not. The courts will order that the child carries the father's last name.
2006-08-27 13:47:21 · answer #7 · answered by Coast2CoastChat.com 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
first of all if she was your friend u wouldn't have slept with her husband, next i think you should sue the father when this child is born, grant u he said he would pay child support but he also vowed to his wife that he would forsake all others and u see that didn't happen you should call your local department of social services and they can tell you the procedures for your state about putting father's name on birth cert. and getting help here in my state we can do that. should u give this child his last name that is up to you on that one but i would think long and hard about it hope everything works out for u
2006-08-27 14:38:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why didn't he think you could get pregnant??? That is a little confusing..
I think you can get both state aid and child support, but I'm not for sure..you'd have to contact probably a lawyer, maybe your doctor's office they can help you fill out the proper forms.
Congrats on the baby, hope everything works out for you.
2006-08-27 13:33:34 · answer #9 · answered by Kitikat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Regardless of the situation, the baby deserves both the name and support of it's father.
It's not your place to deny him/her this just because you may make an 'uncomfortable' situation...we're talking about the child here not your relationship. I suspect that's over for now....so like the person said GET A LAWYER NOW!!!!!!
2006-08-27 13:34:21 · answer #10 · answered by DJ 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋