I need the wise to answer please.?

Question

I am a bad girlfriend.?
I really love this boy and he really loves me and he is my boyfriend (obviously). I have been with him for almost 11 months already! I always hurt him....(not physically) emotionally. My grandma yesterday told us that we had to do our school work (we are both sophmores) and he said "I did it yesterday night but Tina here hasn't done it yet". Then I say out of no where...I didn't even feel it I go "I did it. I always do my homework. I didn't fail last year." He told me "Tina you took it to far." and I could see he was hurt. I didn't mean it and he didn't fail, he just has to tkae some classes this year again in night school. But he is a sophmore like me. I really regret that and other things I always do to him now. I just dont know how to be right for the boy I love and I feel like he is getting bored of me and will leave me one day. I don't knowwhat is wrong with me. Please no insults, I think my conscience and my heart are telling me enough insults right now. Please help. Thanks :).

Answer 1

Look at it this way: We aren't our thoughts; we are our feelings.

Perhaps you hurt him with words because you are afraid of intimacy--you don't want him too close. I don't know whether that is true, but if it is you can ask him for help in feeling comfortable
with your loving feelings for him. Tell him you are scared, or whatever it is that has you throwing the insults.

How do you feel just before you say something hurtful to him? Whatever you are feeling right then can tell you why you do it. Pay attention to what that feeling is.

You do need to stop, but you also need to convince him that you are going to stop and that you are sorry. He has come to expect being hurt from you, and will eventually leave you if he doesn't see there ever being a change.

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Answer 2

You should be thinking more of how to be a good friend rather than a good "girlfriend". Don't be so quick to jump in to an adult relationship with one boy. You are obviously not ready and that's OK. In the next several years, you will learn so much more about who you are as a person and the type of people that you want to have in your life. If you are too quick to jump into a relationship now, you'll just end up not knowing what you want or even what's out there... You'll settle for someone that doesn't make you happy. Remember, if you don't treat a person (friend, boyfriend or anyone else) with respect, you can't expect to get it in return.

Do they still teach The Golden Rule? "Do unto others as you would have done to you."

If you treat other people poorly, you have no business wondering why people are mean and don't want to be around you. Good luck!

Answer 3

ok basically i have the same exact problem as you. then i got a counselor that helped a little. and im on some anger pills or something like that now. once again that helped a little. but the thing that helped the most is that make it a habit that before you say anything imagine it being someone else saying that to him. like wouldnt you be pissed if someone insulted your boyfriend? and i know your probably pissed at yourself but just talk to him about how you dont mean to say stuff it just slips out. and if hes willing to help ask him to tell you every single time you say something that hurts him. its not something that can end overnight. just think before you say stuff [i know everyone has probably told you this, but really just take a deep breath and think think think think!] cuz i know you love him i can tell how your talking about him. my boyfriend actually has almost the same problem. he doesnt do that well at school. and i used to find myself always rubbing it in when he was actually improving. tell him how much your proud of him for going to the night classes and wanting to make up for what he missed. and dont ever let a day go by without telling him you love him. imagine him saying things to you that hurt. how would you feel? just the thing that helped me the most was imagining somebody else saying it to him and then i would be extremely nice and compliment him nstead of putting him down. it helped a lot. and like i said its not gonna change overnight. but trust me. if you try and hes willing to help, you guys can get through this. its a relationship. you guys have to work things out. hope i helped.


by the way. congratulations for your 1 year in advance :]

Answer 4

The dumb dousche bags that commented and said you should do him a sexual favor, are definitely wrong! Of course that will make him feel better but not for the right reasons. If you hurt him emotionally it means you're going to do it to other people that you ever have a relationship with. If you honestly love him you shouldn't treat him badly, don't take advantage of him while he's there because he might not always be around. When you show him that you appreciate him then you should be able to say that you love him. Do little things like compliment a cologne he's wearing or say he sounds sexier than usually, just do little things to make him feel important to you. =]

Answer 5

As for your question, if you really love him, i think it's his best interest if you let him go. i think he deserves better.

Things aren't bad at all. if you really care for him, it's possible to change your behaviors. you can start by being more honest, whether it's good or bad. if he loves you, he should understand. You can study with him and follow him more. it seems like you got a good guy.

As a last note, it takes more than love to make a relationship stand against test of time. Both of you should be able to do things together, be compatible, and see fundamental values the same way. for example, he apparently values education much more than you. For every instance that you values differ, that will tax the relationship that much more.

Answer 6

FIRST, HE IS STILL WITH YOU CORRECT-I SEE YOU HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 11 MONTHS AND I ASSUME YOU ARE IN HIGH SCHOOL? A LITTLE ABOUT ME-I AM 31 AND HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 8 YEARS-YOU SOUND AND ACT LIKE MY WIFE DID WHEN WE WERE DATING-WHICH AS YOU CAN TELL IS NOT BAD-MY ADVICE IS TALK TO HIM AND LET HIM KNOW THAT YOU DONT MEAN TO HURT HIM IT JUST COMES OUT WRONG-REMEMBER YOU STILL ARE YOUNG AND HAVE A LONG LIFE TO LIVE THERE IS SOME GUY OUT THERE WHO WILL STICK IT OUT FOR YOUR LOVE NO MATTER WHAT KIND OF HELL YOU PUT HIM IN. I HOPE THIS HELPED-LIKE I SAID LIFE IS LONG LIVE IT UP NOW, YOU HAVE A LOT OF TIME TO SETTLE DOWN LATER!

Answer 7

You have to stop saying hurtful things to him. If you truly love him then why would you want to make him feel bad and hurt him? You are right to think that eventually he may leave you, because what person in their right mind would want to stay with someone who constantly downs them and hurts them?
You need to stop yourself from saying hurtful things and bite your tongue. You have to change yourself and no one can help you or do it for you. You also need to realize that when someone says something about you, they aren't saying it to be negative, so don't get so defensive and jump on them.

Answer 8

You should tell him how much you love him and that you feel badly about some of things you've said to him.. If he knows you're really sorry about it things will be a lot better.

Answer 9

a protection deposit field is your maximum suitable guess. you ought to positioned into yet another account in a various economic employer and have each and everything despatched on your place of work. Create a dummy corporation and hid it there.

Answer 10

All that crap comes with GROWING UP. Just stop and thing before opening your mouth.