I've been a *****, how do I fix it?

Question

I am still in love with my ex, and I KNOW he would never consider being with me. I have been the worst type of person imaginable, and I am so sorry. I just miss him, and I was to stubborn to admit it. I dont know how to fix this.
10 points to whomever has the best idea, thats caring.

I didnt cheat. I was hurting, and so was my little girl, and he was always upset. I just wanted what was best for everyone, which i thought was to be apart. I was asked out by someone i didnt know or care for, and since he made no effort to get me back, i went with the other guy, even though i didnt love him. this guy asked me to marry him, and i was still upset, and really confused and i made a bad decision. (but i still never slept with the guy, makes me wonder why he wanted me?)
Then i realized the one i really loved wasnt near enough to me and i needed him, even if it was just friends i didnt care. I called him, (after giving the other guy his ring back) and told him i needed him here. he came, then i asked you guys this Q, but before i came online to read the answers, i told him all of it. my reasons, feelings everything. turns out he never stopped loving me. even now, he still had tears for me. he really was my soulmate. all our anger is gone, and i feel like myself again.

Answer 1

Write him a letter. It is always better and easier to write our feelings down. Don't sound desperate to get him back, just be honest and ask him to forgive you. If you are meant to be together nothing will stand in the way, but if you are NOT.....then you have to accept it!! Before you attempt to ask for his forgiveness you need to think about everything very well (are you just saying you are sorry because you want him back?). If you are truly sorry, try to change your attitude, look inside and see what is really making you feel and act this way. Sometimes there are other things going on and we take it out on the people that are closest to us. Try to find a way of dealing with all the issues in your life and this will help you change. (When we are happy inside, we make those around us happy). Good Luck!

Answer 2

I'm not sure what you did that was so bad, but here is my suggestion. First, I would send a genuine letter of apology, acknowledging what you did, how it hurt him and how sorry you are. I recommend a letter because if its that bad, he probably will not want to see you in person at this time, and it gives him to think about what you had written in private with no pressure. Just make sure that the letter is a letter of apology, not a "I love you, take me back" letter. You need to work on being forgiven before worrying about getting him back! Make sure you are sincere, detailed and to the point or he will most likely think your full of it.
Wait a few days, see if he responds. If he does,DON'T jump into the I love you, take me back! REMEMBER your still working on forgiveness! You want him to know your being genuine.
So he calls, great! Let him talk! YOU listen. Reinforce your apologies, and let him know you are sorry for hurting him!
DON'T MAKE EXCUSES FOR YOUR ACTIONS! Ex. I didn't mean to hurt you, it was an accident, I wasn't thinking.................. If your going to do that you might as well put a big BUT behind your apology, because your not taking responsibility for YOUR actions. The only BUTT you'll see is his walking out the door! So don't do it!
After LISTENING to him, ask him to forgive you, and let him know that you understand that it may take some time to forgive you. He needs to know that his forgiveness is important to you.
At this point you need to let him take the lead in what the next steps will be. Let him know you love him, care for him and your biggest concern is making sure that he is OK.
He doesn't call: OK this is where it can a little tough. Chances are he is still very hurt and upset and really doesn't want anything to do with you right now. So give it a week and then send a CARD, a simple card (no lovey dovey) and just write this "I am asking for your forgiveness because it's important to me. Please call so we can talk". If he still don't respond, you may be waiting for a long time. Can you blame him? Be patient, if it was meant to be it will be. Give him time and space to think about things.

Answer 3

Here is the best answer. Don't be selfish, don't try to change anyones mind, just Stop being that way. It doesn't matter if he choses you again or not - because you want what is best for others - and that may not be you (right now). Change a little every day to care a little more for those around you. You will amaze yourself how much happier you will be - regardless of what he decides to do.

Answer 4

Aw. You need to apologize to him for being so hurtful. Maybe ask him out on a little "as friends" date. If he says yes, act the complete opposite of a b*tch on the date. Be very sweet and caring to show him that you've changed. In the end explain to him how you feel and ask for his forgiveness. Hope all goes well! Good luck!

Answer 5

get him on his own, or phone him. tell him you know you have been a *****, like the time i...... Tell him you just wanted to apologise as you know he does not deserve to be treated like that. Tell him that he is a special person and tell him you miss him so much and can believe you did not realise before how much he ment to you.

Tell him you were stubborn as you were scared of being hurt but the thought of never being with him again has made you rethink this and get over it,
Tell him you know you do not deserve to have a second chance but hopefully he will just listen to how sorry you are and how you feel and at least consider being your friend as you would rather have him in your life as a friend than not at all.
and hopefully once he has spent time with you he will realise what made him like you in the first place and hopefully reconsider.

Answer 6

Hey girl, keep your head up!! Im kinda going thru the same situation...sorta. Im still in looove with my ex man, and I feel like he wont consider being with me either, but the connection, bond, love we had for each other was so damn strong, and i guess it's my fault why we broke up, it's been 5 months and i love him more than i have ever. All i want is him back, I have writen letters to him, called him, went to his house...in your situation I think you need to apologize before it's to late, tell him how much you miss him and that you truely love him, and you wana make it up to him! How he reacts will let you know if he will accept your apology or if you really hurt him he might not want to get back with you, but you have nothing to lose, so go for it! and what ever you decide to do good luck, I know what your going thru

Answer 7

Have you tried telling him exactly what you just wrote here? That's a great place to start. Chances are he'll never trust you again and may not even want to get involved with you. Guys aren't "into" relationships anyway and when we find a girl who's too much trouble to begin with, what's to keep us there?

You might need to move on...unless you're willing to do some "incredibly extreme things" for and to him. I'm not trying to be rude or crass, but that's life.

I don't care about the points, I'm just telling it like it is.

Answer 8

I agree with rawrr, a letter is the best option. Writing down your feelings allows you to weigh up what you really feel and has the advantage of keeping your bitchiness at bay. You can tell him how you really feel and apologize for what you did (were you really that horrible?). You shouldn't plead for forgiveness however; you should instead try to be completely honest and open in your self-analysis. He will get the message.

Answer 9

Most people are unable to admit that they are wrong. The fact that you can....speaks volumes! People can't change unless they see their own shortcomings and want to improve.

Find your ex and have a heart to heart with him. Hopefully he will be mature enough and have a big enough heart to see that you are on the right path and making a sincere effort to change.

People can forgive if they know things will improve. Good Luck!

Answer 10

I would write a long letter explaining how sorry you are, but your willing to show him you can be a better person and treat him with kindness and love.Then invite him out for a quiet romantic dinner, YOUR TREAT! And over dinner tell him how much he means to you and that if he still cares for you maybe you two can give it another try. Good luck!