What should I do when my kids act up?

Question

They hit each other, disrespect me, and sometimes hit me. They are 7 and 9. Just now I tried putting them in the "naughty chair" like on Nanny, because they were hitting each other. It doesn't seem to work that well, they drag the chairs across the room and goof around. I tried keeping them in the chairs but they just got madder and started kicking me. What should I do with them when they act up? Please serious answers only, I try my best, it's a touchy subject for me.

Answer 1

how about a naughty corner - something they cant move. if you have an area in your house which is kind of out of the way you could try that, so they cant see the other child. just an idea.

Answer 2

I watched a tape 123 Magic, and it is really great. We talked about what would happen to them when they got put in time-out before there was an issue. Then when the time came for our first encounter, after the tape, which I did not believe would work, I gave that one, that two, take five, which means five minutes in their room without tv or any electronic game, already laid the rules a head of time, she would not go up I carried her up kicking and screaming, oh yeah the tape says to put the lock on the door backwards so I can load from my side, and was going to give her the choose of going into her room with the room opened or closed and n kicking the door, that would mean giving away something, start with something you can live without because it will happen, we had picked a dress was one of her favorite she did not know she had outgrown it. of course she kicked when she calmed down took the dress to a friends house and gave it away. Also have a timer that she can hear so you do not have to say much before the 5 minutes are over. Consistency, key, and it has made a big turn around in our home.She was four she is five now doing better. Good luck and it really works,this one is in therapeutic foster care. Big turn around. This was recommended by her therapist.

Answer 3

Find adequate punishment. The naughty chair idea is no longer working.
Time for the big guns: No TV for a day, no PC or game-boy for a day, simply confiscate the item, remove the item, and don't let them have it until they decide to behave. They seem to act off one another too, so choose one to punish, not both at the same time. One must spend the time alone in his room, while the other is being punished, then trade.
Another good one is positive reinforcement, when they act proper, place a quarter in the goodies jar. Explain that they can make pocket money for candy this way, if they are ill-behaved take away a quarter. Be sure you explain your actions to them and be sure to take them once a week to their favorite shop for ice cream, candy or some other "goodie" (zoo, bumper cars,etc) to redeem the money they earned.
The jar is for both of them so when they see that you remove money from the jar because Tim misbehaved, then Johnny may start to enforce proper behavior to prevent further losses!!!

Whatever you do, the punishment or reinforcement must fit the age of the child and the event.

Answer 4

There are several things you can try. Probably none of them your going to like. I think 7 and 9 are too old for a naughty chair. However, punishment is warranted. My suggestions:

1. Send each one to their individual rooms (separate them if they share) with no tv, radio, telephone, computer, game boy etc. For several hours. Make it stick.

2, Cut off their allowance if they get one, you don't reward for bad behavior.

3. This is not a reward - so don't think it is. Put them in soccer camp, swim team, baseball, etc. Get them to burn off energy. (This one worked with my child). The reason it isn't a reward is that you will take no excuse for them not going, not homework, plans to meet friends, after school activities. Nothing gets them out of it. The downside is it ties up your day to.

4. As for kicking you, take the flat of your hand and hit them back and not softly. If you don't stop this behavior now, what is going to happen when they are 13. (My sister-in-law has a daughter than hit her while she was asleep because she wanted breakfast made - the girl was 12. That was the end of my sister-in-law not giving out punishment.)

They are going to get mad at first, and second, and third. It is your job to be consistent and not give in.

Good luck you are going to have a couple of really tough weeks.

Answer 5

I have made mine sit on the couch and hold hands. I have even made them at those ages hold hands in public when they start acting up. Now when they start at each other in public I call them Betty and Bob Bickerson! They hate that. I will even to this day make them hold hands with me and take a walk. Usually by the time the walk is over the emotions are out and they have talked about it with me and each other. The hand holding thing worked well. And so does the walking and talking. We ususally walked to the nearest playground and that way they could burn the pent up energy and talk as well. Mine are 11 and 12 now and it is not very often that they fight anymore. Good Luck hon, I really do feel for ya!

Answer 6

First of all, if they kick you, take away something else from them. Just keep threatening them until they realize they're going to lose everything they've got. It seems you haven't been very firm in the past, so expect it to be a bit hard to teach them to behave now, but stand your ground. One way you might want to introduce your new policies of strictness to them is to have a talk with them. Tell them, "I'm sick of the way you've been acting, and so I'm not going to let you get away with as many things as I used to. If you don't behave, you're going to [insert punishment here]"

To decide how to punish them, think about what they would hate to lose most, then threaten to take that away, and (most importantly) follow through if they don't do what you say. Forbid them from going on playdates, keep them in their rooms if they have separate bedrooms, deny them computer, tv, or video game time, take away their favorite toys, don't let them have dessert, the list goes on. Also, if they have another relative that would be a better disciplinarian, you can tell them "If you don't stop, I'm going to have Dad punish you when he gets home." A lot of times one parent is known as the lenient one but kids are more afraid of the other parent. The most important thing is, if you threaten to do something, ALWAYS do it when they don't listen. If you don't stand your ground, there's no hope.

Answer 7

Well, you have to start with consistency. Sit down and choose the things that are most important to you. Let them know that those things will no longer be tolerated and that their will be consequences. Empty their rooms, except for bed and clothes, and take away all toys. Make them earn them back through good behavior. One day at a time and be consistent.

Answer 8

They are testing you. Don't let them see that it's getting to you,that will make it worse. They are dis-respecting you bigtime and make them see that you are NOT letting them get away with it anymore. I know this is going to sound mean, but take EVERYTHING out of their room except their bed and dresser. Make the earn everything back-one toy at a time. Stick to it!
When you punish them, put them in seperate rooms,away from each other and lock the door. Make them stay in there as long as it takes,till they apologize to you and realize what they did was wrong. Keep reinforcing this and it should work. You GOT to stick to it.Also, maybe try to keep them busy to where they don't have time to get in trouble. You can maybe do a treasure hunt with them or maybe slip-n-slide. Get out there and play with them. It sounds like they are wanting attention from you and are getting it the wrong way.Good luck!

Answer 9

Duct tape?? lol Sorry jk, but had to. Hitting them is definitely not the answer becuase you're telling them NOT to do what you jsut did, won't work.(I knwo from experience with my 2) I eish I could help you out more but I am in a similar situation. What you could do is try taking absolutely everythign away from them. Give them clothes & a bed, nothing else. Take away all video games, tv time, movies, phone, computer, toys. ALL of it. GIve them a couple of books in their rooms & let them slowly earn their other toys/priveledges back. Good luck!

Answer 10

You need to put these creatures in military school before you end up in the hospital, they end up in jail, or worse. Look up an academy near you, preferably one ran by the Marines. See, this is what happens when you be your kids best friend and don't put the fear of God in their little asses from a young age. Why are you letting 2 kids HIT YOU? You are the damn adult. That woman Edna M above up there talking about all that AP lovey dove, kissey boo boo hoo haa needs a reality check. That's not how you shape up bad kids. Most academies around my area are FREE OF CHARGE granted the child(ren) meet the institutions criteria. Any fee you may incur is worth it to keep them out of jail later. It's called tough love. If you can't put a boot in their asses, ship them off somewhere to someone who will. Take the titty out of their mouth and be the adult.