We are planning an outdoor wedding ceremony and want to include our children in some meaningful way, after we have said our vows. There are a total of 6 kids, but only 2 are still children (13 and 16). We've already decided that the boys can be ushers and the 2 girls will be in charge of the guest book, little flower girl, etc. None of the kids are in the bridal party as we are having dear friends as a maid of honour and a best man. Our goal is to keep the whole wedding ceremony and reception simple. With the emphasis on fun! Thanks for any suggestions. Zenobia
2006-08-27 10:40:27 · 13 answers · asked by zenobia2525 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
simply allow all the children to stand with you during the ceremony.
2006-08-27 10:45:07 · answer #1 · answered by norwood 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Even aged 13 & 16 aren't little. So what is usually done to include a "blended" family isn't going to work in this instance.
Usually there is a 'sand' ceremony, or the 'family medallion' or the children repeat vows as well.
What about having the two youngest escort you down the aisle & give you away? Or you could have them give a special reading about marriage after the vows. They could be jr attendants.
I think for the older ones the jobs you've chosen are just fine.
Just let them know that you're still there for them......always.
2006-08-27 19:52:08 · answer #2 · answered by weddrev 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it is a religious wedding you and the kids can all join hands after the vows and have the officiant say a family blessing. Sometimes you give each kid a special gift like a necklace or a watch.
A recent trend is that some people have the new stepparent and the kids exchange "vows" but I think that's terrible for a kid to have to go through. There should not be vow exchanges of any kind, to or from a child. He's not marrying your kid, he is marrying you-- totally different sentiment!
2006-08-28 00:56:13 · answer #3 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The sand ceremony. This is done in place of the unity candle. On the altar would be a big empty vase (or other container), and arround it would be smaller containers that each have sand in them. There should be as many smaller containers as there will be members of your new family, and it's really cool if each container has different colored sand and the family member's name on it.
Then, after the vows (when the unity candle normally gets lit), the whole new family goes to the altar and pours in the sand from their container. This ceremony symbolizes the blending of a family instead of the blending of two people.
Best of luck!
2006-08-27 18:09:52 · answer #4 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can do a family unity ceremony where you present them with charms or pendants that blend the whole family. You could use them as members of the wedding party. My son gave me away when he was just 13 years old, and my daughters where Jr. Bridesmaids. You could give them jobs such as handing out bubbles or in charge of gifts or guest book.
2006-08-27 19:26:32 · answer #5 · answered by MrsMike 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since they are all old enough to participate in an adult and meaningful way...
You could talk to whoever is marrying you and ask about having both of you offered into marriage by your children (instead of your dad giving you away).
You could also have them stand and have your clergy (or whomever) add something to your vows about taking the children (by name) into your hearts as family, yadda yadda.
At the reception you could just ask the children if they wish to offer toasts or offer toasts to them.
I think it's great you want to include them! Best wishes on a happy and long marriage. :)
2006-08-27 21:17:10 · answer #6 · answered by DJ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are already having them involved, which is great! They are already old enough that they don't really need to be any more involved. If you want to, after your vows, but before you kiss, have all of the kids take a vow to become a family and support the union.
Good Luck!
2006-08-27 17:57:00 · answer #7 · answered by emp04 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can't involve them in the actual ceremony (attendants, ring bearers, flower girls, ushers, whatever), create a short photo montage video and show it during the ceremony. Include lots of pictures/video of you both will all your kids (separately and together). Non-traditional, sure, but fun and interesting.
2006-08-27 17:53:03 · answer #8 · answered by Andy G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We had our ceremony outdoors and instead of a unity candle we read a short message to our parents and grandparents and then gave our mothers and grandmothers a long stem rose and embroidered handkerchief. If you are interested in the reading we used or more info email me. I'd be glad to help you out.
2006-08-27 18:45:11 · answer #9 · answered by jen_customweddingsolutions 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could gather up a few of each child's childhood keepsakes and display them along on the guest book table. You could also have a friend get a quote from each child regarding their well-wishes and have them on a page of the program.
2006-08-27 19:16:19 · answer #10 · answered by Pearlie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋