My mother will NOT let me date before **26**! How do i convince her?

Question

I can't believe i have 13 more years until i can date. I am 13 years old right now. My mom thinks that dating is off-limits for people under 26. Even to my friends, that seems RIDICULOUS!!! Mom's philosophy is that i'll be 26 when i finish my doctors degree. She thinks that if i start getting into boys/men too early, my education will be messed up and i will start to divert my focus of life (bs!!!). I know i have enough self control to juggle my education and the boys. maybe not right now, but certainly when i'm 15 or 16. 17? Well what do you think? Do you think i should try to convince my mom to let me date earlier? Or do you think she is right about her no-dating-until-26 rule?

Answer 1

You can pretty much do what ever you want to when you are not around her, simple. She's not in control of what you do way from home. So move to an away college, she's just telling you this, because you are 13. If you were 18 she would not be saying this.

The simple truth is, if you don't bring any guys around her, she will never know.

What mom does not know will not effect her, so tell her nothing.
Just say your going to a movie with a gf.
Or you could just freak her out and shock her by saying your gay.
Maybe she would rather you be with a boy then.

Answer 2

That is an interesting rule. Perhaps you are from a different culture than mainstream America. It probably depends on you. Of course when you are 18 you can be out on your own. But I am assuming that your parents will be supporting you and paying for your school and that you will be living at home. For some people, juggling a boyfriend, college and a job are all doable activities. For others, focusing on their education is all they can handle and do a good job. Your parents probably should not lay down rules such as that until they have seen how much responsibility you are capable of handling effectively. Every child is different. You need to respect and honor your parents wishes even though you may feel like they are different from most of your peers. If it is your wish to be a doctor then you will need to be very time intensively involved in that endeavor and boys could be a significant distraction that could keep you from achieving your goal. But the question is "Is this your goal?" or is it their attempt to mold you into something that you may not be inclined to be. These are all things that remain to be seen in the future. You have to get through high school and excel, then onto College and excel if you want to go to med school. Best wishes to you as you seek to find your place and your peace in the world.

Answer 3

You are too young now, but when you turn 18 she really can't stop you. If you're in college, unless you're living at home she wouldn't really know anyway. I'm not saying sneak around either, I'm just saying that as you get older reality will set in. Don't worry about it now. Maybe when you're around 16 you can talk to her about group dating. You won't be able to make wise choices when you're 26 and dealing with 26 year old men who've been dating if you don't have some experience. You also don't need to be dating alone at a young age. You could get into a situation you can't control and ruin your future if you're out alone with a guy. Try her again in three years on the subject of going out with a group of boys and girls your age. She may be more willing to listen and compromise when you're older.

Answer 4

Your mom is just running her mouth. When your 26 one would hope that she would not have that much if any control over your life. But she does have a good point. Boys can get you off track in life if your not careful. So just relax and stop pushing this issue with her. Don't be in such a hurry, the grass is not always greener on the other side. Some times boys can be more trouble then they are worth.

Answer 5

In a way she is right, she is just taking it out a little too far. Kids these days, myself included, begin dating way too soon and end up pregnant and their life is ruined. I think she'd be completely right in making you wait until you are 18, when you are an adult and ready to handle everything that comes with a relationship.

At 13 years old, you are not ready to deal with the emotional baggage and everything. Relationships can be hard, and there is nothing a teenage boy really wants more than just a little fun.

You can't convince her, so don't even worry about it. Just know that she can't control you after your 18th birthday, so then you can go buckwild.

Answer 6

like you, im also thirteen. i have also had this discussion with my mom, but i figure that when im 18 and legally and adult, i too can make my OWN adult decisions. i dont really plan on actually "dating" guys untill im around 16, so i figure if my mom wont let me date then, i only have two more years.

on the other hand, your mother isnt always wrong. maybe listen to her side of the story. all she is wanting is for you to have a succesful future. and not to get too carried away with boys untill your on your way to succes.
so maybe you can sit down and have a discussion with her again.
tell her how you feel.
maybe make a deal with her like as long as you keep a 4.0 you can date guys.
i know that my mom and i have that same deal and so far i have kept that 4.0 up.

well good luck girl. and i hope you make a good decision.
whether its listening to your mom, or finding a new one.
: )

Answer 7

Hun, by that time she cant "let" you do anything youll be an adult. But I do think dating is more fun and makes more sense when youre a little bit older but I mean like 18 and up. You have to date as well as go to school or work theyre all parts of life, remind your mother that you have to learn how to be in a relationship, date and interact with the opposite sex as well as how to balance a check book, etc.

Answer 8

Your moms feelings will probably change in time if you show her that you are a responsible person. By that I mean not letting your education suffer due to getting crushes and wanting to spend your time with boys and not doing your homework or studying. Most moms worry because they know their child has set a goal for themselves in life and they want to see them achieve it. Many young people get sidetracked from their goals when they enter into a relationship that can/does and will distract them. You have a lot of years ahead of you, use those years wisely.

Answer 9

Ha! That's funny. Your mom probably had a boyfriend around 16 and is just nervous for you. If she really is that strict, don't worry- you will be away at college at 17 or 18, and at 18 she can't control anything you do.

Answer 10

Lets get real here. You will not be living in her house at that time! She is fooling you on that one! You will be out of the house when you go to college, so don't worry about her rules.

Concentrate on your studies while you can and don't give her a reason to think you would break her rules. Get into a good university (far from her) and have a great time when you get there!