Justitin Level 1 How can I help my little sister with her exboyfriend problem?

Question

When my sister was a softmore she went out with a senior in High School. Everyone can tell they fell in love because at school you never saw them apart. They started going out in the frist mounth of the school year. Then at the end of his senior year he broke up with her. He told me beacuse he didnt want to break her heart. Then I found out on the last day of school he told her he loved her and wrote it in her yearbook. Its been two years since that happen. She told everyone she's over him but I dont think thats true.There are some sings that she is not over him yet. Like She asked me if I talked to him lately or have I seen him around. She went out with a couple of boys since him but after a mounth she breaks up with them its like she's scared or something. I found out two weeks ago she found him on myspace. She keeps on asking me if she should talk to him or what if he doesnt reamber her because its been two years and what if he doent want to talk to her. I dont know what to do!!

Answer 1

A lot of people have been in the position you're sister's in and in fact, have been in the position you're in. I have a little sister myself and when I went through a similar situation long ago it was a headache. First off, realize that guy is her first love. It's always tough to get over your first love. Especially when it sounds like he really didn't treat her poorly but instead felt he had to move on after high school. On top of that, it sounds like he ended it. This may make your sister feel as if she "isn't good enough" as a girlfriend or worse as a person that is desirable in any way, even though I'm sure that's really far from the truth.

The best thing she can do is move on herself. This means no contact through MySpace or any other format, etc. This is because it would be unhealthy for her. Even if he's a cool guy, when you keep someone in your life who doesn't see you as you see them you get caught in a pychological cycle that in this situation could only lead to more pain and disappointment. She needs to understand that it didn't work out. Young people often believe that they might be the exception to the rule in these matters, however, the truth is if it didn't work out the first time (no matter what the reason) it will not work out. I have yet to see evidence to the contrary.

As for you the best thing to do is stay out of it as much as possible. Most people in her situation aren't trying to listen to what people in your situation are saying, even if it comes from the fact that you care about her and are trying to look out for her. Understand the greatest role you have as her big brother is to always be there for her in a positve way. Sometimes people have to do the bulk of the learning on their own. Trust in her to eventually be able to pull out of this.

Answer 2

Break it 2 her gently.
She was 2 young & he was 2 young.
Tell her if she wants 2 contact him thru Myspace U'll back her all the way, but prepare her 2 not read 2 much in2 it.
U have no idea how he may react.
Get ready with a shoulder 2 cry on or right oh he's happy 2 C U, sis.
Hope it all works out, 4 UR sister.
UR a good bro 2 look out 4 UR sister like this.
The world is a big bad place & if we didn't have our siblings 2 fall back on, life would B even harder.
:)

Answer 3

Tell her the truth ! He broke up with her because he was graduating and didn't want a girl who was still in high school. He has obviously moved on with his life and it's past time she moved on with hers. If he truly cared, he would have stayed in touch with her. I know this sounds harsh, but, tough love is just what it says. Tough !

Answer 4

first of all, i commend you for being one among those great older sister I surely have some suggestion to grant you because of the fact i grow to be your little sister i had a terrible time while i grow to be around the age of 12 and that i drove my kin loopy i grow to be a brat, consistently made my mom cry, i screamed, began fights, yet i GREW up whether, my older sister (by utilising 3 years) never as quickly as helped me, she never tried chatting with me she might in simple terms curse me out, yell at me with my mom, whinge to all human beings round her approximately how lots of a terrible guy or woman i'm now, i'm 18, and that i found out that countless youthful human beings conflict by a piece like that yet i will consistently remember how my sister dealt with me, heavily like i grow to be the devil or something persevering with being a reliable sister, you're doing the acceptable element she will have the capacity to with a bit of luck enhance out of it goooodluck<3

Answer 5

OK it was her first real boyfriend huh? Well you just gotta try to get him off of her mind and try to help her see that even though she thought she loved him she can fall in love again. Try to comfort her and help her to see that she is still in the past and that isn't healthy.

Answer 6

I beilive that u should talk to him on myspace 1st so he knows what has been going on then after that just go with the flow if he says its kool to talk to her then tell her u think she should!!

Answer 7

well i think u should tell your sis 2 ask him if he still knows her and if he does then talk 2 him more and hope 4 the best.

Answer 8

tell her to send him a message on myspace. the truth is...if they dated for a whole school year then he has probably not forgotten about her and he might be looking for her himself. tell her good luck. i hope everything works out!!!

Answer 9

Let her do it or otherwise she will regret it and blame you, if you talk to him why don't you test the water first like hey my sister said to say hi

Answer 10

tell her that he isnt worth it if he cant be with you. also dont get yorself involved cause its a bad thing to do. just make her fell good about her self and she wont need him. this guy isnt over her either otherwise he wouldnt be talking to you.