I visited my fiancees church today mainly because he had been telling his staff about me. Initially, I felt like I was going to be on display, like everyone was going to be watching everything I said and did - and it happened! After church, the worship leader who is my fiancees best man, asked me if "they had made me mad" and commented that I even appeared to be angry in service because I didnt sing or wave my hands when everyone else did. I come from the Black Gospel experience so for one, the music at that church didn't move me AT ALL! Not ALL Black Gospel music moves me. I asked "T" the worship leader why he was so worried about how or what I was doing in service when he should have been focused on leading worship rather than what I was doing. I left the church feeling like I never wanted to visit that church again since it was obvious I had been talked about as well as the way I do or do not worhip. Comments on what I should do next? I do have a church that I am very active in.
2006-08-27 09:11:20 · 10 answers · asked by femmenoire@sbcglobal.net 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I did talk with my fiancee and he tried to tell me that I had a friend in the woman who made the negative comment about me. He claimed she was my "friend". How can someone be my friend when I have just met them and then they turn around and talk about me behind my back because of what I do or do not do in service?
2006-08-28 03:23:57 · update #1
I'm sorry you had to experience that.
Truth is, being human, we all people-watch. Sometimes we people-talk (otherwise known as gossip). You probably could have been anyone new, & the others would have kept an eye on you. But being betrothed to a staff member puts you further out on front street.
I was engaged to a Choir Director, so I've been there.
Don't sweat it. More than likely, "T" was just concerned if someone had offended you, not looking for a critique on his leadership abilities.
When you're a part of the leadership (as you will be when you get married), people look to you as an example. Sounds like these people were just getting a head start.
My suggestion: talk to your fiance about the whole situation. Let him know how "on display" you felt. He's probably felt the same way many times & may have some insight on how to deal with it.
Also, between now & the marriage, you two should decide which church will be your home church. Visit one or the other each Sunday, & if you can't choose one or the other, it may be time to look for a new one altogether.
Marriage brings a new life together; sometimes that means that God has plans for you to serve as a couple in a new environment.
Prayers for you & yours.
2006-08-27 09:24:50 · answer #1 · answered by azar_and_bath 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure what you mean by "universal", but as for your experience - I am glad it wasnt me, - wouldnt have been, because I would not have been there but just the same - that was a bad experience.
No, Jesus said that his true disciples would have love among themselves (John 13:35)
and that the 2 greatest commandments were to love God and your neighbor (Matthew 22:37-39), even stating that the whole law (the one given to Moses) rested upon those two laws.
To return or not to return - I wouldn't
To do next? research your own beliefs in the Bible and as Philippians 1:8-11 says "And this I pray, that your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge and in all judgement; That ye may approve things that are excellent; that ye may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ; Being filled with the fruits of righteousness, which are by Jesus Christ, unto the glory and praise of God." (KJV)
and 1 Thessalonians 5:20 "Prove all things; hold fast that which is good." (KJV)
If you find a disagreement between what the church teaches and what the Bible says..... move on (Always go with what the Bible says)
2006-08-27 16:25:49 · answer #2 · answered by grammy_of_twins_plus two 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While you are right that they shouldn't have been observing you, one could turn around and say that you shouldn't be thinking so much about how the music at YOUR church moves you instead of worshiping. Music isn't god. It sounds like both you and they are judging each other unfairly. In my opinion, going to church isn't about appreciating music or anything else. It should be about worship, which you can do anywhere.
2006-08-27 16:18:31 · answer #3 · answered by Larry 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't let it get you down. If you know that you have accepted Jesus as your Savior then you don't have anything to worry about. Think of his comments as something the pharasees would have said. They looked at the outside appearance, not the spiritual richness inside. If the worship leader was so worried about what you were doing, perhaps you weren't moved because the Holy Spirit wasn't moving.
2006-08-27 16:16:16 · answer #4 · answered by shybusch 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just explain that you come from a different tradition of worship, and that you're not necessarily putting theirs down; it's just different, and you can't be expected to adapt instantly.
Most of my experiences in the Christian church are from non-denominational, charismatic churches; I accompanied a friend to a Baptist service on Easter Sunday this past year and was shocked at what was, to me, relatively lackluster worship. Don't worry about what anyone says--worship your own way when you feel moved.
2006-08-27 16:22:44 · answer #5 · answered by angk 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps part of what "T" does as part of leading worship is making sure the congregation has a good worship experience. I don't know all the details, of course, but I'm sure he didn't mean to offend you by asking. Sounds like you need to talk it over with your fiancee. Have you prayed about it?
2006-08-27 16:20:29 · answer #6 · answered by smartee 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Many churches without racial mix are desperate for diversity. The fact that they were extra accomadating to you is understandable and doesnt necesssarily imply anything nefarious.
No doubt you want to be treated the same as everyone else, no matter where you are, and for this I cant blame you but just dont take that feeling and let is push you into wrong conclusions. Be above it all...
2006-08-27 16:18:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay with your church, you need to be where you can feel the spirit working. If they were talking about you then obviously they weren't Christians. When you enter into a true church of God you should feel welcomed, not the opposite.
2006-08-27 16:17:19 · answer #8 · answered by pooh bear 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I believe other life forms in the universe have a God concept that they worship.
2006-08-27 16:19:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
stick with it baby, stick with it
2006-08-27 16:14:30 · answer #10 · answered by papaofgirlmegan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋