Would you dump your boyfriend of 3 years if he never mentions he wants to get married in the future? I mean, if you feel it's one of your main goals and he doesn't seem to ever mention it, would you give him an ultimatum?
2006-08-27 09:06:28 · 24 answers · asked by alopez 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
One should NEVER give ultimatums. That is a sure fire way of losing the thing that you want the most.
Communication is the key here.
Open up and discuss the issue with your boyfriend. If you have been together for 3 yrs then nothing you say to him is going to be a shock.
I'm sure he knows how you feel already just because he knows you so well after 3 years of being together.
But talk to him about it, tell him how you feel, ask him if he believes that marriage to you is in the future, even if it is in the distant future.
Then you will have your answers and you can decide where your relationship goes from there.
But like I said NEVER give ultimatums unless you want to lose him and his respect.
2006-08-27 09:13:32 · answer #1 · answered by ETxYellowRose 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends how old you are. Some men change after some time. My bf at first didn't want kids or to get married and now after 6 years he wants all of the above. So talk about it, ask him if it is something that he sees in the future. But if he is like 30 and saying this then he probably has his mind made up and I don't think that you are both compatible, my sister is 23 and dating a 30 year old, he said a year ago he does not want marriage or kids and still feels that way, she is moving on. My advice, you should too if marriage and kids are important to you.
2006-08-27 16:19:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Breaking up is ultimately not what you're looking for. Talk with your boyfriend and ask him what his goals and dreams are.... offering an ultimatum will only make him feel threatened and not improve your relationship. He may in fact not be ready for marriage, only you know where your realtionship is at and take our advice with a few grains of salt. Let him know that your care for him and want to share your lives together as a family. This is a tough subject for some people and I wish you the best of luck. Remember to be direct about your intentions and goals as well as not coming on too strong with them.
2006-08-27 16:18:24 · answer #3 · answered by Porterhouse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him that I love him greatly. That spending time with him is wonderful, but you feel like you are ready for more and you want your relationship to move to the marriage level, you want kids or whatever and it's part of your life plan.
If he says he isn't ready or he doesn't know, tell him that maybe the relationship isn't for you two. Maybe he should be free to look around and you should too. If in a year you two are still single and miss eachother then you should marry. If not... well then you found your mr right.
I must ask though, why rush the vows? If you really enjoy his company and love him why push for a paper? Be sure of your reasons before you start demanding things.
2006-08-27 16:14:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
before you make rash decisions talk with him first. communicate your desire to get married and see if its in his future goals as well. If not, then you might need to cool things off a little or take a break so you guys can rethink priorities.
Dont give an ultimatum it never turns out how you think it will and even if he does pick you there might be an underlying resentment. come to a decision TOGETHER. Treat your relationship like a partnership.
good luck
2006-08-27 16:11:56 · answer #5 · answered by guitar_lady81 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all before you get carried away and start breaking up long term relationships why don't you try to sit down and discuss your future and try to see if you did stay together would there be a future? You shouldn't assume that he hasn't mentioned it cuz he doesn't want to he might not have mentioned it cuz he might think that you don't want to. Don't get carried away be patient and let the other person tell his side and listen and you will get alot more accomplished that way.
2006-08-27 16:23:58 · answer #6 · answered by badtinky69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, 3 years is way past the normal time to make the decision to get married. You have already wasted too much time on him. Tell him that he has 6 weeks to decide and then must set a definite date. If he refuses, move on and don't look back. He will never commit.
2006-08-27 16:13:42 · answer #7 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should really talk to him and get things straight as to where your relationship is going. If you have different aims - you want to get married and have children and he does not, it is probably time for you to move on. It might be hard, but people should be moving towards the same goal and share the same idea about where they will be in a couple of years. Otherwise, why prolong the inevitable?
2006-08-27 16:12:22 · answer #8 · answered by kichka_2002 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on how old you two are. If you're say, 15 or 18..no I wouldn't dump him. If you're in your mid-20's, yes or have a heart to heart talk with him about the future. If there is no future with him, dump him and chalk the 3 years up to a life-lesson. If you are in your 30's, kill him.
2006-08-27 16:10:03 · answer #9 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women and most people dont realize marriage is suppose to last for the rest of your life. It's a very serious commitment. You seem like you just want to get married to say you did it. Think again.
2006-08-27 16:18:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋