I saw a church sign the other day that read, "No one chills out in the flames of hell."?

Question

Doesn't it make you want to go to church with all those cheery people?

Answer 1

must be a baptist church.

...i hear a rap song coming...

Answer 2

Church or no church a life separated from God is my definition of hell be it on earth or in the world to come. Many people are missing something and they go to church to find a completeness. This of course won't come whether you go to church or not unless you have a personal relationship with God and believe in him. Not all church people are bad but some are hypocrites. It sounds to me that you are a bit cynical and could use a dose of cheering up yourself. The thing to cling to is that we are all sinners being churchgoers or not and that if you can have an open mind and heart then God can and will make astounding changes in your life and if you want, in your afterlife. You do need to believe that Jesus died on the cross 2000 years ago and that by doing so opened the door to eternity to you. If you can invite him into your soul ( a very courageous thing to do for a cynical person) then you will never be the same. I have lived a very colorful life and done the lowest of things that would probably make my friends from church (no I don't go now) croak but I know I am forgiven and that I am eternally loved by God through the actions of Jesus. Good luck to you and thank you for asking this question.

Answer 3

Don't let your worries get the
best of you; remember, Moses started
out as a basket case.

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Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited
until you try to sit in their pews.
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Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisors.
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It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.

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The good Lord didn't create anything
without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.

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When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.

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People are funny; they want the
front of the bus, the middle of the road, and the back of the church.

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Opportunity may knock once, but temptation
bangs on your front door forever.

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Quit griping about your
church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.

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If the church wants a
better preacher , it only needs to pray for the one it has.

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God Himself does not propose
to judge a man until he is dead. So why should you?

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Some minds are like concrete
thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.

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Peace starts with a smile.

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I don't know why some people
change churches; what difference does
it make which one you stay home from?!

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A lot of church members who
are singing "Standing on the Promises" are just sitting on the premises.

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We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.

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Be ye fishers of men. You catch them - He'll clean them.

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Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.

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Don't put a question mark where God put a period.

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Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.

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Forbidden fruits create many jams.

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God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.

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God grades on the cross, not the curve.

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God loves everyone, but probably prefers
"fruits of the spirit" over "religious nuts!"

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God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.

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He who angers you, controls you!

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If God is your Co-pilot - swap seats!

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Prayer:

Don't give God instructions -- just report for duty!

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The task ahead of us is never as
great as the Power behind us.

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The Will of God never takes you to
where the Grace of God will not protect you.

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We don't change the message, the message changes us.

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You can tell how big a person
is by what it takes to..........discourage him.

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The best mathematical equation I have ever seen:
1 cross + 3 nails= 4 given.

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Answer 4

Those 'snappy' church signs sure do bring out the uneducated people! Stupid is as stupid reads? They are intended to be funny while also being true, if you 'get the point'. Gee.
I saw one the other day that read, "God loves to get KNEE mail" A few people may not get that, either.

Answer 5

I saw one that said "under the same management for 2000 years" I believe it was a new church too. And I saw one that said "We keep Jesus Alive in 2006" I love reading church signs.

Answer 6

Flippant signs on churches make me mental...I am so glad that getting to heaven doesn't depend on going to a church with a corny message out front! Its all about a relationship with Jesus--not a church building...

Answer 7

Hardcore Christians

Answer 8

Grace(not Law) unto you and peace(not division),
from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

They're so law law they cheer & clap hands,
whenever God(Grace) is evil(law) spoken of.

An evil & adulterous law law generation seeketh after a sign.
The generation of J->C, settled in C thereof, needs no sign.

Funny thing is, it's churches & gov'ts, 2Cor 11 sort of religious & political "ministers" thereof such archaic noaic & mosaic law law, who are still law imputing sin to themselves, for the "hell" of it. Father forgive "them", for they "know not" what they do or say.

Fanning the flames of hell thereby tongues set on fire of hell, the hell which notably follows their johnny law law Death rider, Jesus, who they wanna see come again, ride again, riding in on the 4th pale horse(perhaps the "verily verily" gospel), troubling the water again, with more than one resurrection in the "new" part of such old/new, thereby making for both a new & dead way "and" a new & living way of such NT good 'news'; And then 'staying the course' of such law law, they want everyone to pay even more sacrificial troll tolls, to cross their already paid for bridge over trouble water, which such they sayers troubled again by saying Peace & Safety in law (worketh wrath), wrath which God hath notably NOT appointed us unto: 1Thess 5:9. Go figure.

Feed the trolls more tolls? Nay! Ceasar is dead!
And all those who'd rule in his stead many times dead.
Long live the horse(law) a Death rider rode in on? Nay!
Let all such Mt 22 "law law" be the "dead testator" of NT.
Starve it, till what's "ready to vanish" notably "shall vanish".
And then none perish by grace rather than all perish by law.

Revelation: He that hath an ear, let him h-ear what the Spirit(God) saith "unto the churches". Funny thing is, what's written in Galatians, to foolish bewitched folk, is written "unto the churches".

What's written in Galatians 3 is "the law is not of faith".
(And "whatsoever is not of faith is sin" in Romans 14).
In Christ: the end of the law, there is no law = no sin.
(Where & when no law, there & then no transgression)

The "grace" of our Lord Jesus Christ with you all. Amen.

Answer 9

You shouldn't humanize God. You shouldn't think he's nice. He judges between the living and the dead. One of the Ten Commandments in different terms is making God seem all nice and cheery.

LEARN ► BOND ► PRAISE ► SHARE ► DO

Answer 10

Oh for sure. I love signs like that.
Whatever happened to Jesus' message of universal love and acceptance?
I guess it doesn't quite have the shock value of enternal burning of flesh.

Answer 11

The truth is the truth no matter how anyone feels about it. It is not the church but Christ who has given us His word to live by.