my husband doesn't like her husband. I feel guilty for not calling her as usual. every time she invites us i have to find an excuse: girls sick, tired, work...It is not fair for her because we were like sisters, but i am not going to put pressure on my husband to go out with them if he doesn't feel comfortable to. if u have to choose between your husband and your best friend what do u do?
2006-08-27 06:10:14 · 12 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
you are right. maybe it is my fault not his. i admit that i enjoy being home with my family or going out in family rather then going out with my friend. i promise to contact her and visit her as soon as i can. thanks.
2006-08-27 08:09:18 · update #1
If it's only that your husband doesn't want to be forced to interact with her husband, go to lunch together or to a movie sometime just the two of you. You could tell her that you miss your friendship and want to spend one on one time with her.
2006-08-27 06:19:30 · answer #1 · answered by cldb730 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy! You are between a rock and a hard place!
Since your husband doesn't like your best friend's husband than it looks like you are going to have to see your best friend on your own time when you two can get together.
Do not give up that relationship! She is still your best friend! If it's anything that I know; we women need our female friends, especially when things get tough as they sometimes will. Just because a person gets married doesn't mean you drop your relationships because the other party doesn't like him/her!
I would not put my self in a place of choosing between two people who mean the world to me because I will lose either way! Also if I chose the husband over my best friend then what prevents me from being in that situation again and having to chose my husband again over another friend or even spending time with a favorite relative he doesn't like? huh? Don't play that game!
2006-08-27 13:34:02 · answer #2 · answered by December Princess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be able to have both. Hang out with your friend without the husbands; it's a good excuse for a girl's night out. My wife and I have come to realize a life outside of our marriage is important and healthy. How else are you going to complain about your husbands? ;-)
It would be wrong to force something on your husband and label him as selfish if he doesn't accept. Invite her out for drinks (just the girls) and explain the situation. You'll know if she's your best friend fairly quickly.
2006-08-27 13:32:41 · answer #3 · answered by David H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't have to "choose". If for some reason or another your husband absolutely cannot tolerate your friends husband, why do you have to include him (them) in your girlfriend time? Just because you're married doesn't mean you can't have your own time and space to do what you enjoy.
2006-08-27 13:18:01 · answer #4 · answered by allamerican 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just because your husband doesn't want to hang out with her's is no excuse for you to stop seeing her.
Just go out with her and do the friend thing.
By the way aren't there some of your husbands friends wife's that you can't stand?
I'm sure that there is. And I'm also sure that if they invited you and him to there house your husband would want you to go with him. Because he wouldn't want to hurt his friends feelings.
I bet you that you have went to this kind of situation for him haven't you. And you did it out of the love that you feel for him and decided not to be selfish. You thought of his feelings first and made the best of the situation.
Maybe your husband is being a little selfish. He has you 24/7. She only sees you when you choose to let her.
And how can he say he doesn't like your friends husband if he never really got to know him? Has he even really gave this guy a chance?
For all that you scarfice for him on a daily bases it isn't gonna kill him to sacrafice one night for you at your friends house once evey 6 months or so. That is what we do when we are in love. We do things that we don't care for for our loved ones.
When we get older and get married we tend to loose touch with our friends because of our spouse and kids. They do take top priority. But to keep our self sane we need all the friends we can get.
Every one needs a little time away from there husband and kids.
It doesn't make you a bad person it makes you human.
There are things we like that men don't like. Is he gonna go with you to do all those things?
There is all kinds of things that men like that women don't like are you gonna go do it all with him?
Hunting? Fishing? Playing Sports? Some of these thing women like but most of the time men want to do these things alone or in the company of there friend. This is there time to get away and relax without there trouble at home.
Chances are if you have to choose it will be your husband. You love him. You have made your home and family with him.
But myself I don't think you should have to choose.
My husband respects who I am and understands that I need sometime with my friends from time to time.
There are some of his friends' wifes' that I don't care for and there is some of my friends' husbands' that he doesn't care for also.
But when we are invited to either of these places we bite our tongues and go out of respect and love for one another.
Because we realize just what our friends mean to one another. And a little sacrafice now and then for each other's happiness is well worth it.
I hope you find the answers that your looking for. Good luck
2006-08-27 14:28:48 · answer #5 · answered by rockn75 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can you explain to your husband how important this friendship is to you, and ask that if he is unable to put up with her husband while everyone gets together, could he please watch the kids for a half day/whole day once a week/month/whatever while you and your friend get together and have some "girl time?"
2006-08-27 13:17:32 · answer #6 · answered by Curly 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
friends come and go but your husband should be there forever, just explain to ur husband that you want to see your friend, and if he dosnt want to come thats ok but you are still going. Don't do it too often but dont avoid your friend too much, you should be able to find a balance between the two. Good Luck, i hope this helped!
2006-08-27 13:18:39 · answer #7 · answered by Brookelynn 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldnt need to make a choice. You both can have time together excluding husbands. They have the problem. You should be able to remain friends in whatever possible means is available to you both......providing that's both as you wish.
2006-08-27 13:23:28 · answer #8 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's stopping you from hanging out with your friend on your own. Who ever said that your husband has to go with you everytime.
2006-08-27 13:17:24 · answer #9 · answered by Sydney 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hang out with her without your husbands.
2006-08-27 13:28:49 · answer #10 · answered by Rachel Bitchface 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋