Dads death?

Question

How do you deal with your dads death? he died 10 months ago
and I still have empty,lost feelings. I cant get over this..please someone...how do you get past this?

Answer 1

My condolences. It is not easy getting over someone you sorely miss but you know will never come back. Best approach? Think of all the good times you've had together, the small things he did that made you laugh and happy, and remember him that way. Finally, pray for him.

Answer 2

My dad died over 30 years ago - I was 12 at the time. I did go through a phase of pretending that my whole life was actually a dream, and that I would wake up and everything would be back to normal. That took nearly a year, so maybe you are reaching that point now.

I still miss him, you know. I miss him because I never knew him as anything other than "Dad". We never went for a beer together, he didn't get to see any of my minor triumphs like playing for the school team or passing my exams. Of course, he wasn't there to give me any advice as I grew up.

On the other hand, we never argued. He couln't call me a long haired hippy wierdo or anything like that.

You have to get on with your life though, sweetheart, because you are still here, and you carry part of him with you. Live your life as if he were still watching you, and make sure he would be proud of you. There is no great harm in just asking "Well, dad, how am I doing?" every now and then.

You may find, as i did, that you grow up slightly faster than some of your friends, because you will have to make your own choices much earlier than if he had still been around, but that will make you a stronger and more mature person.

Please take my very best wishes for your life.

Answer 3

I'm very sorry about your loss. I lost my Dad to ALS when I was 12 and my brother was 8. My dad left 5 kids, 4 grandchildren, 2 brothers , 3 sisters and too many nieces & nephews, a mother & a father. It's hard, but you have to remeber He's doing better, and he's not suffering anymore. I have empty and lost feelings, but it can't stop you from going on with your life. I now how hard it is, but heres some suggestions go to his grave and talk to him-he'll probably be listening, write letters then rip up the pieces of paper and let them go into the wind, put pictures of your family near or on the grave, put his favorite hat or something like that in a plastic bag with a note. Those are some suggestion I think are good.

Answer 4

Hun, it's never easy to get over the death of a loved one. I know this first hand. My sister died when we were children and our whole family still feels lost and confused without her. It's been 20 years. The way we dealt with the anger was we would go to garage sales and buy dishes lots of dishes and when we would feel angry and hurt we would go behind the garage and break as many as it took to feel some kind of relief. It felt actually good to break things in moderation, I mean we weren't going through the cupboards in the house breaking household items. But it helped to relieve a lot of stress. Do you have a good support system? Are there people that will just sit and listen to you when you need to talk about your dad? Don't worry about being a burden on your friends, I'm sure they understand. Another thing, when you want to talk to him, go to his grave site and talk to him. I visit my sister's grave very often and I don't care how anyone in the world sees me, I talk to her, because sometimes I just need her and no one else. It's hard and though you may never "Get over it" the pain eases up with time. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to drop me a line. Take care.

Answer 5

I'm 42 and lost my dad 3 years ago. I went to a local greif cousleing group - these are usually free and a great source of comfort.

Take your time, don't try to rush it. it is different for everyone. Take your time, write about, find a grief support group on the internet. Check Yahoo Groups.

You will always miss your father, but remember, he loved you then and still loves you now. I write my journal - still- as though there were letters to my dad, just talking and letting him know whats going on and I also let him know that somedays i'm angry that he's gone and some days mad, but talking with other who have gone through a similar lose can often help. Keep reaching out. Your going to be ok. Just take your time and deal with it in your own way.

Every year now on my dads birthday the children and I release balloons for dad. It may sound silly, but it makes us feel better!!!

Hug to you hon!

Answer 6

The feeling of loss never goes away, I have lost both of my parents; my mothers death being just over a year ago. The best advice I can give you is to live your life and hold the memories you have of him close to your heart. He would want it that way, it's ok to have times where you cry, and feel lost without him. I still have those moments myself. I wish I could tell you that the pain goes away but it doesn't. When you have those moments just look up and talk to him, it has helped me on more than one occasion. Who cares what others think, you will come up with your own ways of feeling connected to him. Good luck sweetie, sorry for your loss.

Answer 7

I'll tell you my story. My dad died when I was 14. When that happened I got into a real depression. I wouldn't eat or do anything. After school I would just come home and go to bed. I wouldn't go out with my friends or nothing. This lasted for 3 years. I was just so angry at everybody. I'm finally getting better and but it takes time and strength. You'll be ok, but you just have to realize that Rome wasn't built in a day.

Answer 8

I'm so sorry for your loss. My dad died 7 years ago and I think about him everyday. I think if you're able to visit him in the cemetary and talk to him it might make it worthwhile. Let him know how much you miss him and share what you're feeling. Tell your mom how much you miss him and wish that he were still here. Hope you can comfort each other, especially since the year anniversary will be coming up. Again, my condolences and hope any advice people gave here will help you.

Answer 9

There is no simple or quick fix to this. My daughter who is 17 now lost her dad 6 years ago 3 days before her 11th birthday. I as her mother made sure we talked often about her dad and especially the good times we had. I made sure she stayed involved with her friends. You will never forget, but the pain does get easier to deal with. She still ask me why but theres no simple answer to that. She use to hold resentments towards other kids that had both parents but now we are very close and talk openly. I hope this helps. God Bless.

Answer 10

My father died 19 years ago, one week after my high school graduation. I still miss him. Not as much as I did in the beginning, but I know I always will. The loss will never leave you, but it will lessen in time. In the mean time, try to distract yourself with things you enjoy doing. Write him a letter, talk to him ,have a good cry if you can. My deepest sympathies for your loss.