22 year old son?

Question

my grilfriend has a 22 year old son.he has a job and she still thinks i should pay his bills and let him lay up on my couch all day long sleeping and watch tv all night long.mothers with grown kids. what should i do and not to hurt her and make her understand way i feel and to make him grow up and be more responsible for himself.and quite depending on her to support him. i am the only one working and brealy serving myself.

Answer 1

Tell her how you feel. I'm sure she even knows that her son is past old enough to support himself. Part of being a mother is teaching you children how to fly. She is not doing her son any favors by babying him so much. You might have to be stern. But its your house and you do have a right! good luck

Answer 2

If your girlfriend thinks her boyfriend (you) should pay her son's bills ... I think your girlfriend is the one with the problem, not her son.

You say he has a job ... then how can he lay on your couch all day long sleeping and watch TV all night long??? When is he working?

You can't MAKE someone grow up ... you can only allow circumstances that encourage them to mature. Paying their bills doesn't do that.

You're the only one working? Sounds like your girlfriend is a real winner. She found someone to support her and her son ... hmmm.

Answer 3

You have to stand up for yourself now and if she can't figure out that she is doing more damage to her son thatn good you have to get rid of her. My boss's wife has 2 grown kids and he pays ALL their bills. He can't afford to he just opened a restaurant. He is so far in debt right now it's crazy. We all pray it will do good and so far is doing ok. It's only been open a week and already he has had to bail her son out of jail. The kid is an idiot he is always robbing people the last one was a little old lady for 70 bucks. I am sure he is not as bad as my boss's wife's kids but to be 22 and still mooching off mommy's boyfriends is bad enough. Sit them both down and talk to them. Tell them that you can't barely afford to support yourself much less both of them. Ask him to help out with the bills. It is not his mothers house therfore he should not be supported and babied. If she gets a job she can support him but you can't anymore. Maybe see if he can pay most of his bills and you still help out a little so you don't piss mom off too bad because this will but she too needs to realize that it's time for him to grow up. What has she taught him about the real world? Nothing grown men don't sleep all day unless they have jobs at night to support their families. What if God forbid something wher to happen to her are you expected to care for her grown child for the rest of his life? He doesn't know he is supposed to work to pay for things himself. I hope this works out for you guys. I am more worried about the kid than you I feel sorry for him.

Answer 4

If she chooses to baby him, that's her prerogative. Lazy grown children, turn into lazy grown adults who will constantly be seeking help from their parents. You though, do not have to tolerate this behavior.

I think you should have a sit-down with your girlfriend and tell her enough is enough. This kid is an adult. Either he pays rent, or he can find his own place. It's not your job to support him (or her for that matter, what a great guy you are!). Sounds to me like you may have some free loaders on your hands. Stick to your guns...you have the trump card - the paycheck.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Well its good he has a job. Unfortunately if you feel this way then you have to approach the issue. Her son is just about grown up now. Can't baby someone all their lives ya know. You can help him what what he needs to do with his life but you also need to live yours.

I'm glad that your a very understanding and supportive person.

Answer 6

Ok, mom get real. If your son is 22 it is most definelty time to get him off the couch.If he wont then give him the couch, its cheaper in the long run. If you dont do it for yourself then do it for him. He will never be able to rely on himself if you keep supporting him. You have done your job raising him it is time for him to be grown and take on his own responsiblities. Dont feel guilty you have done a good job, but let him go.

Answer 7

If you are the only one working and paying the rent, then it is YOUR house. YOUR house, YOUR rules. Make him pay rent, or contribute in some other way. If he doesn't do that, tell him he has to leave. If you're girlfriend likes the free ride she's getting, she'll stay. Personally, I wouldn't put up with either of them!! Cut them both off and see how fast they get jobs!!

Answer 8

ok ...here is the TRUTH on your situation...

You've allowed this to happen....Your girlfriends son is taking the lead from the MOM....MOM DOESN"T work....doesn't contribute support so why should her son.

You need to give both of them a wake up call. Do not co-mingle $$$$ Give them an ultimatum...more like PUTTING them both on NOTICE.....Give the girlfriend 2 weeks to find employment and contribute or put her out of your home. If the home is YOURS...you have the right to kick both of these moochers out.

I'm sorry but a little putang now and then isn't contributing to bills, lights, gas, water, phone, rent, car, gas, insurance, food and just the basic needs to keep a house a float.

22 yr old should be booted to the curb NOW....in his situation 5 day notice.....Tell him and submit it in writing ---- 5 days he must find housing, JOB etc. If in 5 days he hasnt secured somthing his things will be put to the curb. (NOW MIND YOU....your girlfriend will not want this to happen---to her poor LAZY BUM of a son but remember....YOUR HOUSE...YOUR GAME.....YOUR RULES)!!! Trust me....MOOCHERS don't believe what you say......YOU MUST do what you threat!!!!

I had to do this with my son when he was 20 yrs old....He worked and lived in my home...he didn't want to contribute but had no problem.....eating my food up, having his sleazy g/friends in and out....keeping all kinds of hours etc......I gave him an evicition notice....gave him 2 wks to get his affairs in order ....and you know...he found an apartment in that time and moved out. He's now 27 and hasn't moved home since....It's the best thing I ever did....and trust me ...HIS BAGS and boxes would've been to the curb if he hadn't found a place in 2 wks too!!

I really think you've lost control of your home and you need to take control back. You'll be known as a SOB but it's like who cares....why should you support MOOCHERS??????

Answer 9

That's really not fair on ur part. Give both of them an alltimatum to either get a job & help with finances or move out. I'm sure this has been going on long enough, eh?

Answer 10

My personal view is that a 22 year old, man or woman, should be living on their own. The only exception, IMHO, would be a student who is seriously pursuing a degree (or certification) that would lead to a job.