I loved this person for 4 years (I am 23 and he is 29) and one fine day I heard him telling I love you to someone else. Needless to say I went mad. When asked, he said that he met her online....This lady who is 50 years old and wife of someone workig in Gulf. He says its not a affair of cheap kinds and that she has suffered alot in life. He also said he cant leave her for me. I dont know anything of what her suffering is...He never attempted to explain why she is important to him. What I know is that she had given him lumpsome money to attend a conference in USA. I decided I cant share my love and said goodbye to him. He said that I am only breaking our relationship without deciding well and that I am deciding this impulsively. In fact, I took 6 whole months to say goodbye. I am suffering from his loss very badly but dont feel bad for saying bye since if today a lady can crop up and become so important to him...tommorow the same might happen with someone else. Am I wrong?
2006-08-27 04:44:43 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Move on in life dear girl. Take your mind off it. I know its easier said than done. But getting into another relationship isnt the way either. You can try yoga, its a natural destressser. You could even try running/jogging. Dont punish your self for what somebody else did. Remember, life is far too important, and everything around you today may not be around for very long. Value it and learn from other peoples mistakes. He has forsaken you for something else, nothing is for ever. Now that he has moved on, you have to learn to stand up and tell yourself that you are a stronger individual, Do not give him the opportunity to stand there and laugh and say I told you so. You have been a part of something special. Now that is over. The memories should give you courage and strength, not weekness and sorrow. Learn to let go, for that is the reality of life. Tears and sorrow are always in vain, for it doesnt bring back loved ones from death, nor wash away the pain. And like you said, if this happened today between you, then it could be something else later on. So its best that its over now.
Learn to let go and live free.
Love and Courage to you.
2006-08-27 05:01:48 · answer #1 · answered by the_mad_trucker 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think U did the only thing possible with ur best interest in mind. Even if he hasn't met with this person, he is still having an emotional affair. Furthermore, the slap in the face was the "He can't leave her" for U. What's up with that? U need and deserve better. If U feel like a load has been lifted off of ur shoulders, then U know U did the right thing. I say don't look back, look forward to Mr.Right coming along, and when he does U'll realize just how much U were cheated out of prolonging this toxic relationship.
2006-08-27 04:54:38 · answer #2 · answered by Timber 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear you are not wrong- any man who starts a relationship even online that is emotionally vested as his was is Cheating!
You said your feelings regarding his 'relationship' and he gave his response, you simply were outranked in his heart by an older online woman. I think her money had something to do with his decision and that shows he values monetary things more then someones love or feelings.
You are young and like it or not these things happen because as you move through your 20's people change and for most values are established in what we do want in life long term. Chalk this up to learning and life experience and move on with your life. Someone out there will appreciate what a giving and great person you are. The fact you stuck things out for six months and thought about the entire thing shows you think things out calmly and make sound decisions. Don't second guess choices you have thought about, just accept standing by them is sometimes a scary prospect especailly ending relationships and facing the dating world again.
2006-08-27 04:55:12 · answer #3 · answered by Answerkeeper 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off who has the right to tell you, your feelings are wrong. Their yours. Second the part that bothered me was he said "He can't leave her for you." I believe in a happy healthy relationship that you can have friends of the opposite sex. Yet he knows how much this relationship he had with this woman bothered you and made plans to go see her. Is unbelievable.
He was willing to let you go but not her. That had to hurt. The Internet opens up a whole new world. You meet people you wouldn't normally meet, talk in ways you wouldn't face to face and there are so many people you can have contact with.
That he has taken pity on this woman could be considered admiral. But giving you tidbits about her life, not sharing it openly. Sets off warning bells. You did the right thing. Don't doubt your choice. If he's done this once he could do it again. Or sneak and still be talking to this woman.
The trust is gone. You got off the emotional roller-coaster. Kudos to you.
2006-08-27 04:54:53 · answer #4 · answered by Balou 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's best to leave him. He probably has been with others before while in the relationship with you. He's not looking for a girlfriend, but a sugar momma. He's definitely been with her to leave your relationship for her. This is more than an internet relationship (or he could just be stupid to think of it.)
Move on to someone that can give you the devotion and love you are deserving of and willing to offer. Let him and his "wounded soul" walk into the sunset. Wonder what is going to happen when her hubby gets back?
2006-08-27 04:53:16 · answer #5 · answered by hellokittyt012263 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is absolutely NO WAY you are wrong in this!!!
This guy has been so dishonest with you and only fessed up when you caught him out! I find it amazing that he thinks you are wrong in splitting up with him, if he cant leave her for you what is he expecting? - that you will happily let him see both of you?! You have obviously thought about this for a while before making any decisions, although im surprised you wasted so much time before you got rid of him. Don't waste any more time. You know in your heart you have made the right decision. Go with your instincts. This man is not worth your tears.
2006-08-27 04:57:47 · answer #6 · answered by K 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WELL...IF U REALLY DID LOVE HIM...I WOULD BETTER SUGGEST U 2 END THE RELATIONSHIP...
it is always better 2 b a part of 2 sided love rather than 2 b unhappy being in an 1 sided love based relationship
2006-08-27 04:52:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! you're not wrong and don't be confused you've made the right decision and good luck to you! you are only 23 and there is so much out there,enjoy!peace and love.
2006-08-27 04:52:01 · answer #8 · answered by ghosttrainxxx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you arent wrong but i hink what was going on here is that him telling her he loved her was a cop out to get his sugar momma to give him cash in a sense he wasnt using you he was using her but either way its still wrong to take advantage of a 50 year old woman that way for money. you did the right thing
2006-08-27 04:50:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can understand the tight situation u r in nd if u r the type lookin 4 secure relationships then believe me girl u hav taken the rigt decision........think over ur own reasons.....do u really think there was anything better u cud do 4 urself?.......look around girl.........life is beautiful....live it up!
2006-08-27 20:57:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋