Dumb Blonde Jokes Anyone??!!?

Question

Anybody here have some real good dumb blonde jokes?!
Best Dumb Blonde joke recieves 10 points!!

Answer 1

A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what happened to her ears and she answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But what happened to your other ear?" "He called back."

A blonde, an American, and a Russian are out to lunch. The Russian says, "We're better because we sent the first man to space." The American says, "We're better because we sent the first man to the moon." The blonde says, "We're better because we're going to send the first man to the sun." The Russian and American say, "You're so stupid. You can't send man to the sun - it's too hot!" The blonde says, "We're not stupid! We're going at night."

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!" The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little idiot on your knee!"

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa." Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn". She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde again and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

A blonde is speeding, and gets pulled over by a cop who is also a blonde. The blonde cop asks the blonde speeder for her license. The blonde speeder digs in her purse, can't find it then asks, "What does my license look like?" The cop says, "It has your picture on it." The blonde speeder finds a mirror in her purse and looks into it. Seeing her own face, she hands it to the blonde cop. The cop looks at the mirror, hands it back to the speeder and says "You can go. I didn't realize you were a cop, too."

A blonde goes for a job interview as a detective. When she gets there they ask her some questions. First they asked what 2 plus 2 is. Without thinking she answers 4. “Ok now that we know you can put 2 and 2 together, let’s move on to the next question,” says the interviewer. “If Jenny has $5.00 and spends $2.00 how much does she have left?” Again without much thought she answers $3.00. “OK, for the last question. Who killed Abe Lincoln?” The blonde thought long and hard. Finally she said she didn't know. So, they told her to go home and find out who did it, and return when she found out. Once the blonde got home, her roommate asked how her interview went. The blonde answered "Not only did I get the job, I've also got my first case!"

There was a blonde who wanted to earn some extra money, so she figured she would be a handywoman. She started early to her neighbor's on Saturday morning, knocked on the door and told him that she was the new local handywoman. "Do you have anything you need done around here?" she asked. "Well, I've been meaning to get that porch painted for awhile. How much will you charge?" The blond quickly responded, "$50!" "All right!" said the man "Paint and brushes are in the shed. If you need anything else, let me know." His wife, overhearing the entire conversation, thinks that this is a reasonable, fairly intelligent blonde, but wonders how she can charge so little for painting the porch that wrapped around the entire house! About an hour later, the blond returns to collect her money. "Done already?" said the man. "Yep," the blond replied. "And there was enough paint to give it two coats!" "Wow, that's great" he said. He hands her the money and as she turns to go she says, "Oh, and by the way, it’s not a porch, it's a Lexus."

(no offense to blondes, I know a lot of smart blondes)

Answer 2

Ok....this blonde walks in an electronic store and asks If she can buy the TV on display. The store manager says that they have a no blonde policy. The blonde feeling ticked off, walks away and comes back in a disguise and asks for the same question, the store manager replies that they have a no blonde policy. She walks out again and comes in an even better disguise, the store manager sees her and tells her that they have a strict no blonde policy...The blonde perplexed asks how he recognised her all the three times. He says in a calm voice that the thing she asked for was not a TV but a microwave....

Answer 3

Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.

Q: How come blondes never make pudding or jello?
A: They can't figure out how to fit two cups of water in that itty bitty package.

Q: Why do blondes have square boobs?
A: They always forget to take the tissue out of the box.

Q: How come blondes only drive BMW's?
A: It's the only one they can spell.

Two blondes walked into a bar. You would have thought the first one would have told the second one.

Need anymore, I have a blonde step-mom and have seen most of these happen.

Answer 4

There were three women, a Brunette, a Red Head, and a Blonde. They all worked together at an office.
Every day they noticed that their boss left work a little early. So one day they met together and decided that today when the boss left, they would all leave early too.
The boss left and so did they. The Brunette went home and straight to bed so could get an early start the next morning. The Red Head went home to get in a quick work out before her dinner date. The Blonde went home and walked into the bedroom. She opens the door slowly and saw her husband in bed with her boss, so she shut the door and left.
The next day, the Brunette and the Red Head are talking about going home early again. They ask the Blonde if she wants to leave early again.
"No," she says, "yesterday I nearly got caught!"

Answer 5

OK- So this blonde and her boyfriend are sitting around the kitchen table one snowy winter day and a weather bulliten comes on the radio. It says that the snow plows are going to work and anyone on thier route needs to park on the north side of the road. So the blonde goes to move the car. A few days later, thier siitting there and a bulliten comes on again. "Everyone needs to to on the south side of the road for the plows." the radio says. So she goes and moves the car. A few days later another bulliten comes on and says "Everyones needs to park on the" The electricity suddenly goes out! The blonde confused, looks at her boyfriend and says "I don't know what side to park the car on, what am I going to do?" The boyfriend replies "Why don't you just leave it in the garage?"

Answer 6

theres a blonde, a brunette, and a red head stuck on an island in the middle of the ocean. the next island is 20 miles away so the brunette says, " ill try to swim it" she swam out 10 miles and got too tired so then she drowned. the red head says " ill try to swim it" so she swims out 15 miles but got too tired so she drowned. the blonde said," im gonna try to swim it" she swam out 19 miles, saw the island a mile away but then said, " im too tired" so she swam all the way back to the island she first started on.





Theres a blonde, a brunette, and a red head robbing a food store. when the police came they ran to the back of the store and they each hid in a big bag. when the police came he kicked the bag with the brunette in it. she said "meow" and he said that there was just a cat in the bag and went onto the next bag. when he kicked it the red head said " woof!" and he said that there was just a dog in there so he went onto the third bag. he kicked the bag with the blonde in it and she yelled "POTATO!!!"

Answer 7

I know a smart blonde joke

Answer 8

Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the pedestrian sign said "DON'T WALK".

Answer 9

A blonde, brunette, and a red head went to a museum to see a new mirror that sucks you into it if you lie. the red head said that she was the smartest girl in school and it sucked her up. the brunette said she was the prettiest girl in school and it sucked her up. the blond said, " I Think ...." and it sucked her up.

Answer 10

A blonde goes to her friends house at night,
the friend asks " what do you think is farther, Australia or the moon?"
The Blonde Replies " Well DUH! you cant see Australia from here!"