Sounds like typical teenage drama coupled with a nasty period. I wouldn't be too worried.
But i wouldn't hesitate for one second about laying down the law. Especially when she's stealing large sums of money. Remember that it's your responsiblility to raise a decent and good human being, so regardless if she thinks if you're satan himself for calling her out on her BS, do what you think is necessary.
2006-08-27 02:49:22
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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I understand puberty and emotional I have an 11 yr old dd going thru it.
My dd room was a disaster. I gave her 3 warnings that if she did not clean it I would and I would donate the stuff, and I did. Now she is keeping her room clean as for the stealing if I have to cross that bridge she will be working that off with hard labor around the house and be grounded til the cows come home and no computer either or phone no tv,no nothing . Food,bed,school the necessitys. Thats what my parents did and boy did that work. Coarse no internet then LOL.
Emotionaly I would speak with after she calms down and tell her how hurt you were by her words and that she can't take them back. And do as the other person suggested and show her what it would be like if you were dead. Sounds harsh but think about it sometimes they need it to remember it in the future that its not ok and theres consequences for my actions.
Ok I am done and I wish you well on ur journey with ur dd in puberty I will be thinking of u as I deal with my own dd. Morgaine
2006-08-28 02:31:11
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answer #2
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answered by Anonymous
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Puberty or not, there is absolutely NO excuse in the world for anyone to steal $300 (or ANY money) from anyone. All the rest of the things are things you can be patient with, but the $300 being taken should throw up red flags right away. She needs to have everything she owns taken away and until she works the $300 off in some way (even if you did get the money back) then she loses all her possessions. No matter how much she complains about it, you can't just let stealing slide. All the rest of things will fade in time. Good Luck.
2006-08-30 09:24:25
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answer #3
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answered by Leigh 5
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TOTALLY puberty. It will only get worse if you let it. I never did anything like stealing $300 from my parents, but I was angry, etc... My dad took care of the problem by "bootcamping" me. They told me, if I was going to be so disrespectful to them, then they had no reason to treat me with any. First, they went through my room. I had a queen sized waterbed-gone.Then they emptied all my dressers drawers- went through my stuff- and the dresser-gone. They took away any form of entertainment I might have, including my alarm clock with a stereo & replaced it with a regular noisy alarm clock. They then ripped out my carpets, so I had a tile floor underneath, and replaced my bed with a cot & a sleeping bag. At least they left me the stuff in the bathroom so I could do my hair in the morning. The final topping was, they took my door off so I had absolutely no privacy & made me write a 500 word essay on why I was acting the way I was acting. They told me that if I didn't co-operate with them, they would get worse. I'm not sure how, but I wasn't about to push it any further. I had no TV or phone access. This all went on until I was able to bring home a straight B average report card( Not A's & C's average to B's, but A's & B's only). My life was a living H*LL!!!!!! But, I ended up turning out to be a good kid.
Now, my parents were a bit extreme, but you get the idea. Teenagers are trying to assert their independance, but when it's making everyone around them miserable, then they need to know where to draw the line & you need to show them where that line is.
Oh, and don't worry that she won't love you because you do all this, she's gonna tell you she hates you everyday of her life till she's out of the house & then it'll still be a few years before she knocks it off.
2006-08-27 10:01:16
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answer #4
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answered by pritigrl 4
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i was once a 12 year old girl ((obviosly))
she just got her period so she is very emotional...try to stay away from her, leave her alone
if she says she hates you and would be happy if you die then she doesnt meen tht, but u should test her. dont make her meals the next week or so, make her make them herself, and when she asks why u are doing this, say, "this is what it would be like if i died" and dont do her laundry, dont force her to do anything, just pretend shes not there. if u are married, then make sure your husband does the same. it works every time. my mother did it to me when i got my period and it worked. i was so sorry i had said those horrible things, and i learned that u cant take back what you say. but even if your daughter says sorry, keep it going, and say "you can never take back anything you say". because at first, she wont mean it when she says it, but after about a week, she will love you again
shes goesing through a rough time right now so just remember - no ones perfect
2006-08-27 09:52:59
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answer #5
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answered by XoSuGaRbAbiiXo 2
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I think most children go through this stage during puberty, perhaps not to the lengths of stealing but certainly the nasty things she is saying to you. My friends daughter turns nasty too when she has her period and then a few days into it apologises to her mum. Have you tried sitting down with her and explaining that you understand the emotional part but the stealing part is totally out of order and if she wants to be treated like a little child that is what you will do. There are consequences for her actions and you will be carrying them out if she doesnt pull her socks up and start behaving. Good luck with her anyway.
2006-08-27 09:57:11
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answer #6
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answered by doot 2
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Sounds like her hormones have not only gone crazy with the onset of menses, but they've overpowered her. The logical thing to do is take her to your OB/GYN for testing and a solution. I don't believe a pelvic exam would be performed at this point, but a thorough question/answer/problem solving encounter is definitely needed for your daughter. You should be by her side during her visit to the doctor so you can understand also.
2006-08-27 09:51:29
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answer #7
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answered by Decoy Duck 6
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She is hormonal for sure, but you set the limits to how far her outbursts can go.
She needs rules, structures and consequences for her actions. That is the only way she is going to feel secure that you love her.
Theft by unlawful taking is a crime and I would be inclined to bring her before a judge on that one and let them have a long talk with her about those actions. Most judges are willing to help out that way. Get parental counseling for yourself and professional help for her before this gets any more out of control.
2006-08-27 09:51:19
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answer #8
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answered by yeller 6
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It's normal teenage behavior, but one thing to remember: YOU are the boss. (1) she can't take money out of your purse without your permission. (2) You choose the diet, not her. Tell her she can talk to you about the rules, but you're the boss and you have the final say. Teenagers have bad judgement. You know better. You set the rules and tone.
2006-08-27 09:53:09
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answer #9
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answered by crispy 5
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She is turning into a teenager. Something I dread. I tell my kids all the stop to stop getting older but they just don't listen!
I have a neighbor who has adopted 13 kids over the years and asked him how he deals with teenagers. He said it is give and take. Do they need something (gas money, cell phone, etc) well it is a 2 way street).
2006-08-27 09:55:03
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answer #10
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answered by Marge Simpson 6
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