Normal grieving process over loss?

Question

I thought I was getting over the loss of my beloved dog, who died in April. For some reason, today, and sometimes other days, I just fall apart-Can't look at pictures, get depressed, cry. I miss her so much. Will this awful feeling ever end?

Answer 1

I'm so sorry for your loss. Pets are family, and it's difficult when they die, and completely normal to feel sad. I wonder if the loss of your dog is bringing up other losses too? Would you consider talking with a therapist or counselor? If not, there are often pet bereavement groups at local vet offices, animal hospitals, etc. Below are some links for you. Best of luck. I hope you find some support. :)

Answer 2

I lost a basset a few months back. We stopped by the shelter for a visit, that is where we got him and I started crying. I had not expected that to happen. I have thought of him so much since we went out there.
I thought I was "over" him. I don't spend excessive time grieving over him. I have gone on and we have a new dog, and the old ones too.
But that was new to me, I was very attached to this dog.
I too will not keep pics of him he is the first dog I have been that way about. I was not this way until my I lost my mother 4 yrs ago. I did take Zoloft for a short time after my mother died.
It took a lot of guts for me to go to the dr and admit I was really depressed and not handling my mother's death.
I find now there are times I will be in a situation and just not handle it like my old self would have. I refer to it as "crumbling" .
I have never tried it but they have grief couseling most funeral homes can point you to one or a support groupt.
You may find one online for people who have lost animals.
Other than seeking medical help (only you can tell if it is effecting your life bad enough to seek medical help) I would say your not alone and just because its a pet does not make it stupid or small.
I think from someone who has been through many dogs and lost 2 parents and several friends I would say Yes time is a great healer and it does get better.

Answer 3

It takes a long time to get over the loss of an animal. Sometimes the best thing to do is to go get another one. If you had enough love in your heart to love this animal why not take that love and give it to another pet that will make you feel a little bit better. Animals love people (dogs and cats) and people love animals. I feel the best way for you to cope with the loss is to get another dog maybe one from a shelter or a puppy whichever on suits you. Look at it this way there are so many unwanted dogs out there why not get one and fill it full of your love. I had to do the same thing once and although it hurt to get a new puppy at first, before no time I found myself loving a new dog. Think about it, it can't hurt.

Answer 4

You've gotten many good answers.
My dog, Charley, died last July. He was only seven and he contracted cancer.

His death was more difficult for me than those of my parents. I had never had a dog before... and Charley was my soulmate.

I waited 6 months and got a puppy. Brinkley is now nine months old and a real joy.

I will never forget Charley... I will never have that bond again. I don't love Brinkley in the same way... but he's a real joy and I'm so glad he's mine.

Bottom line: grief really never "ends".... it will lessen, and then, sometimes, out of nowhere it will spike.

Honor your grief. When you feel ready, there's another little fur baby out there for you... and what better way to celebrate the love you felt for your dog than to share it with another one.

Good luck!

Answer 5

There are common cycles of grieving yet each and every physique is going by using them at a distinctive value and a few human beings do no longer circulate by using all of them. counting on how modern-day his loss became he might have self belief that he won't grieve in a typical way no rely what. I easily have a chum who lost her husband without warning and he or she became lots like this. She became sturdy for her little ones and did no longer destroy down. She dealt with all the small print of the funeral and a relocation for the family members with dignity, grace and stoicism. It wasn't until over a 300 and sixty 5 days later that the "common" cycle hit her. All i will say is be there on your pal and pay attention for him. He might on no account circulate by using something we would evaluate common grief yet that doesn't make it incorrect or any much less painful. yet be arranged using fact the common emotions of anger and abandonment might hit him every time.

Answer 6

A pet can be considered to some as a close family member and when they die you can experience grief just the same. Grieving time is not determined by days, months, or even years but I can tell you as time passes, it will get a little easier to deal with. Find something to occupy your time perhaps even consider getting another pet. In the meantime, try to avoid looking at pictures, it will just make you feel worse.

Feel better!

Answer 7

Mark C. outlined the "steps" but know that there has been NO (absolutely ZERO) evidence to support any of these "grieving stages." It is normal to grieve. Even to grieve for a very long time.
Grief is only problematic when it effects your life. It seems to be effecting you quite severely.

My suggestion would be to LET yourself grieve. If you don't start to recover, you might want to see a therapist to help you work through your loss.

Answer 8

Over time the pain will heal it just takes time to go through the grieving process as you are accepting that someone you love has passed on to another world. Take comfort in the fact that they are now and peace and in no pain.

Answer 9

Yes, and it depends on your background how long it will take. You just need to take good care of yourself. In other words, if you need to cry cry. If you need to talk talk. Time heals all wounds.

Answer 10

There are normally 5 steps to the grieving process...the blurb below outlines 5 and then a 6th. maybe it'll help you.
The Grieving Process
Beyond Acceptance into Empowerment
(The following is an excerpt taken from Niraj's NEW book "The Quest of the Phoenix - a powerful new way to grieve ")

Grief is our natural reaction to our loss. These reactions cover a wide and confusing range of emotions. Experts try to list "the stages of grief" so we can better understand the process. But there is no real order to the grieving process. Like a collection of reactions that overlap one another, grief does not proceed in an orderly fashion any more than life itself does.

It comes in a number of stages. It is helpful to know that many others have experienced the same stages as you. You are not alone. However each of these stages may be experienced in different ways as grief differs based on who we are, whom we have lost, and how much our day-to-day life is altered by the death. The severity with which we feel the loss may or may not determine the period of grieving. There may be healthy and unhealthy way of expressing each of these stages.

Shock


The initial emotion that one feels is a feeling of shock and total astonishment. We are unable to fathom the true impact of what has happened. The body’s natural defense mechanism kicks in whenever we go through such a negative state change. You may even feel a certain numbness throughout your body. Shock can go on for a matter of minutes or a matter of days.

Denial


Closely followed by shock we soon go into denial. We simply cannot believe what has happened so we go to thinking that nothing has happened. Many times people may manifest denial by simply doing what they would in their normal routine or they may greet people in a gregarious way as if nothing has happened. Others may fall into the trap of drugs, depressants or alcohol to numb their pain. Only when we face the reality are we able to progress on our journey.

Anger & Guilt


A reaction of anger comes from feelings of unfairness, abandonment, or feeling powerless attached with your loss. You may associate these feelings with yourself, others or even the deceased. For example some bereaved may feel angry with the deceased for leaving them in ‘a mess’. Anger is a very powerful emotion and some people may have been using this in other areas of their life to gain certainty and control.

Some people feel less anger and more guilt. You feel guilt generally when you feel that you have violated your own standard or feel that you have let others down in some way. I have found asking a lot of questions such as, “If only I had left earlier this would not have happened” manifests guilt in the form of self-blame. Some survivors feel guilty for surviving, they feel that they too should have perished with the others or perhaps taken their place. Guilt manifests itself in many ways.

Depression


When one begins to feel overwhelmed by what has happened and feel hopeless, then we progress to depression. We come to realize the extent of our loss and we usually begin to cocoon ourselves from various social interactions. It can be one of the most difficult phases to undergo.

Acceptance


For many the final stage of the grieving process is acceptance of our loss. We come to terms with the loss. We are ready to move on with our lives. We are ready to progress to a phase of reflection and renewal. This does not mean that we may never feel elements of grief ever again. This does not also mean that we will have come to accept the nature by which the loss came into being.

I have been through this grieving process and believe that my success results from being pro-active. One must take action. This book outlines 13 action steps that will help you to progress through the grieving process and transform your loss into empowerment. I propose empowerment as the sixth and final step in the grieving process.

Empowerment


Empowerment is a step beyond acceptance. Your loss is integrated as a part of your identity. It is integrated in a way that drives you forward. It cultivates within you a newfound hunger for life; an appreciation of what life has to offer. It is a period of transformation that allows you to live a more loving and fuller life. It helps you take any new adversity in your stride. With this empowerment comes a gift of rejuvenation and a clarity of purpose. Empowerment allows you to find something that is of greater value than your pain. When you discover this you will abandon the pain.

good luck