i love this guy, as a friend, like one of my family. but when we were intimate (regularly, for 3 months), i found he just doesn't do it for me. tried everything. i am not attracted to him in the slightest, i mean physically/sexually. so i want him in my life but i don't want the sex. how do i achieve this? i think he cares about me. but i fear he may think....what am i getting out of this relationship? because he is not getting sex any more
2006-08-27 01:13:51 · 27 answers · asked by ellen s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes, and it is called a Platonic relation. There aren`t many wich can pull it thru though.
2006-08-27 01:25:28 · answer #1 · answered by stephan rs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to talk to this guy! Im a fella and if my girlfriend didnt find the sex good and didnt desire me in that way, it would really hurt! Yeah sure theres more to a relationship than sex, but at the end of the day it's also a major factor.
This guy may totally and utterly fancy the pants off you, and desire you in no way he's ever desired a woman before. Doesnt that make you feel special and attractive and sexy? Doesnt it give you that warm, fuzzy feeling? I bet it does! So how do you think it will make him feel if you didnt feel that way about him?
Thats the whole point of a relationship! It does'nt matter if you have sex everyday or once a year, but it does have to be enjoyed and wanted by both people. Like I say talk to him, if he's not happy with that arrangement then if you really love him, let him move on. If not you could end up together and the pressure may make him stray, which just isnt good on so many levels.
2006-08-27 03:17:03 · answer #2 · answered by dean h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's really sad! =(
I think sex is a very important part of a relationship, it's a way of being intimate and getting closer to your partner. It's also a lot of fun for us though!
It sounds like you don't want a loving relationship with him you want a friend, almost like a brother. Put it this way - do you want to go the rest of your life without sex? Or is it just him?
2006-08-27 01:22:28 · answer #3 · answered by Rachel_03 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're not in the least bit attracted him to physically or sexually, what are doing going to bed with him in the first place?
Apart from what says about your self-esteem, don't you think that's a kind of cruel and cynical way to treat someone?
I feel there's a subtext to this question: about how you can still use him to stop you being lonely without actually having to have sex with him.
2006-08-27 01:23:15 · answer #4 · answered by sparky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be like best friends if you had no sex. I am not saying it is all about sex, but at the end of a day that part is the difference between a friendship and a relationship. In my opinion anyway.
2006-08-27 01:21:26 · answer #5 · answered by Mr looking for answers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have the classic talk with him about "let's be just friends." You can try to maintain the friendship. Usually it fades away. Also. . it is unrealistic to expect to get everything you need from one person. He is probably infatuated with you and will do anything to keep you, even compromise himself. This is not healthy.
Sit down. Get it all out in the open. Be honest. It is hard to be happy if one is not honest, at least with one's self.
Also, find somebody that does it for you. But remember that that person may not be able to fulfill the role your friend has been fulfilling.
2006-08-27 01:22:50 · answer #6 · answered by Jack P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't have an intimate relationship without sex, but you should be able to have a friendship without it.
I have lots of male friends that I've never slept with or will ever sleep with.
2006-08-27 01:27:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to have a relationship without a fulfilling sex life. Some people pull it off but not many.
2006-08-27 01:22:31 · answer #8 · answered by peter gunn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your relation ship is over. Full stop. You might be able to achieve a friendship status with this guy but there is no future as a couple. He IS NOT going to go through a life long sexless union with you. Accept it, move on.
2006-08-27 01:22:01 · answer #9 · answered by joe r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it is possible to have a relationship with out sex... tell him that u dont wish to have sex anymore and that u love him... tell him that it isnt him even tho it is... or u could just try telling him what u like and getting him to do that... good luck :)
2006-08-27 01:19:25 · answer #10 · answered by becstar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋