My boyfriend and I got engaged when we were 16 ... so he had NO MONEY to get a good ring. He got me a ring worth about $150 ... He told me that it was a promise ring but to consider us engaged. He promised he would get an engagement set when he had the money ... well it's been three years and now he has the money but won't get one ... is it wrong to want one? I just think it would be nice to have. He tells me that no girl is worth spending over $400 on though. The sets that I have looked at are all between $600 and $800 ... Is he wrong for promising the ring to me with no intention of getting it or am I for wanting it when I already have one? I also told him I would still wear the first ring but on a necklace or something ... not like I was just going to throw it out or anything.
2006-08-26 23:41:25 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
he love is more important than any ring.... but just wait maybe he'll give it to you.. men sometimes dont give what their ladies want but what they think their love needs..
2006-08-26 23:48:05 · answer #1 · answered by LaDy in Luv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ignore ami. Whoever they are, they are apparently very bitter about something.
Anyway, maybe he just want to pick something out on his own and give it to you when you're not expecting it. And if you're harping on it all the time, it's kind of off-putting. I know, because that's what my fiance told me a few months ago. =)
I still don't have a ring (there's no money for it right now), but I still look at them on-line, I just try not to say anything to him about it anymore.
I had a promise ring, too, but I had to change fingers when I swelled up a little during my pregnancy, and the finger I put it on was a little too small and I lost it. :'( My ring cost around $90, and the engagement sets that I've been looking at are all around $200.
Maybe he's kinda freaked over the amount of money. I disagree that it's not worth speding more than $400, not if he loves you. But I can kinda see his point that that's just a lot of money.
Also, he could just be afraid of 'settling down' and missing out on the fun that his friends are having. He could be having second thoughts now that it's getting to be about time to plunge into this whole thing.
My best advice would be to let the whole thing drop for a little while, and see if he warms back up to the idea on his own. If he doesn't come around, maybe it was never really meant to be in the first place.
Good luck!
2006-08-28 00:01:48 · answer #2 · answered by Queen Queso 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one.
He made a promise to you, and now he wants to break it.
You are hung up on a piece of jewelry.
Hmmmmm.
Maybe compromise. Get a ring you like from eBay or someplace cheaper. Try local pawn shops. I know it sounds tacky, but there are some great rings that people have sold that are very nice, and a fraction of the cost of retail.
If $400 is a lot of money to him, are you sure that you two can afford a wedding? While your parents and his might pay for it, there are other expenses that you will have to pay out of pocket.
You two are still very young, and at least one of you should be in college or in some kind of training for good jobs later in life. Maybe wait until you are both independently stable then try again. Two or three more years won't matter if you really love each other.
2006-08-30 03:09:28 · answer #3 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is this "promise ring" crap????? There's no such thing as a "promise ring"! Why do I keep hearing all kinds of young people talking about this s***? Sounds like the "we're 'pre-engaged'" crap people used to say when I was young. There's no such thing as "pre-engaged" or "promise rings" or any other kind of bull-crappola we keep hearing! You're either ENGAGED or you're NOT and YOU are DEFINITELY NOT ENGAGED my dear! All this s*** is about little boys just shining girls on about
wanting to commit to anything. Yeah....they "promise" to get engaged after they're done screwing around with everyone else! Right! You are WAY too young even NOW to think about being ENGAGED to anyone and too OLD to believe in "promise rings"! Grow up, get yourself in college if you aren't already and start finding a MAN!
Additional comments:
Just ignore Queen Queso. She's obviously willing to settle for garbage. SHE still doesn't have a ring and SHE's gone and gotten herself knocked up over someone she's not married to. Sounds like SHE's the bitter one and she'd probably like for you to get that way too. Sounds like she's bought into the "don't pressure him" garbage. "No girl is worth spending $400 on"? That tells you right there what he thinks of you! Any jerk with that attitude AIN'T ready to commit and AIN'T gonna marry YOU - EVER!
By the way, Queen Queso, when you get married, you usually spend a lot more than $400 on each other. That's what happens when you get married...commitments...debt...responsibilities....you know? That's why YOU ain't married either....and ain't gonna be!
2006-08-27 16:50:25 · answer #4 · answered by ami 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is kind of petty for you to want jewelry, when a commitment is so much more important that jewelry. Some people even get engaged with no rings at all-- you at least have a promise ring!
But, if money is that tight, are you two really even in a financially secure enough position to GET married?
2006-08-28 01:25:26 · answer #5 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see this guy as a controller and you don't need him or his stupid ring. Get rid of him and look for somebody that is worth something to you and don't want to control petty little things. You shouldn't have ever excepted a ring from him promise or engagement when you were 16 yrs of age. You have your whole life ahead of you. Time for him to grow up and for you to breakup with him NOW! Or it's only going to get worse. Take care.
2006-08-27 06:49:01 · answer #6 · answered by Gez 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"He tells me that no girl is worth spending over $400 on though. "
that there is just wrong! I would never say that to a woman! irrational. totally. money is obviously more important than you to him. and any person....is worth far more than $400!
Its like, "I love you because I need you" instead of "I need you because I love you." which is better?
A promise is a promise. If he will break a promise....he will break marriage vows also. it is called being "unfaithful"
look deeply into matters....be vigilant. the heart & soul need be in a relationship.
2006-08-27 17:06:31 · answer #7 · answered by kdynamic 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, normally I would say that the ring is not important, its how he fells about you, but to say that no girl is worth that money is worng. My husband, when he proposed said that no money in the world can express what I mean to him, but he got me what he could afford and I was plenty happy. I dunno. If he is breaking promises to you already then how is it going to be when you get married?
2006-08-27 08:46:44 · answer #8 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It comes down to this: is he a man of his word or not. He promised a ring, you deserve a ring. Period.
2006-08-27 09:06:59 · answer #9 · answered by JB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eerrmmm Forget how much it costs! go together to the shop and choose a ring that you would be proud to wear, not the price tag... and if he doesn't buy it for you then you know what sort of life together you will have!
2006-08-27 06:51:40 · answer #10 · answered by tom p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋