His son is 28 yrs old and got a DUI. He lost his drivers license and was given community service work. Collecting cans counts as community service. He is 28 yrs old and mooches off his dad. He lives at his house and pretty much doesnt do much. He drinks excessively and they managed to collect $65 dollars in beer cans and pop cans in barrels in the back yard.
The dad, my friend, took the cans to the recycling place and asked them to give him a ticket, so they could put it in his sons name for community service work.
I told him it was just wrong. He should not be drinking and driving and needs to learn a lesson. Well, that went over like a ton of bricks.
I think community service should be more like feeding the homeless or mowing some old ladies yard. I feel like telling him off. Am I bitter, or what?
2006-08-26 23:40:51 · 12 answers · asked by happydawg 6 in Politics & Government ➔ Civic Participation
the son was not out cleaning up a neighborhood on the bad side of town. These cans are a result of his alcoholism. He drank what was in those cans.
2006-08-27 12:08:18 · update #1
I agree with you 100% but there is not much you can do.
The world is full of sad pathetic people like your neighbor and his son.
Why couldn't his son take them or at LEAST go with his dad?
The best you can do is just shake your head and put up with it.
(Personally I would get new friends.)
2006-08-26 23:49:57 · answer #1 · answered by space_man_stitch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, dad is wrong, son is wrong, system is REALLY wrong. Dad has obviously been covering for his son for quite some time now, but this has gone on way past it's prime. Doing his son's community service is shameful, just as getting off with JUST community service and no jail time is also shameful. With the phenomenal money wasted on DUI/DWI accidents and related deaths, there just is not enough deterrent to stop people from drinking and driving. Much like the death penalty is not a deterrent for heinous, violent crime. Yeah, much like it. Think of all the bars in all of America, where people have to drive there to drink. Go figure...should this be legal.
I digress.....anyway, your telling this man that he is doing something wrong is a waste of time...he KNOWS he shouldn't be doing it. Old habits die hard, dear one, and he is too close to the problem to see he is exacerbating it.
2006-08-26 23:52:03 · answer #2 · answered by rrrevils 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask your Friend this: The next time the 28year old Son, gets behind the wheel of a car, with a little too much to drink and then hits a innocent child and kills him/her, will he (the father) take the wrap and go to jail for the rest of his life for his son too.
You're concerns are valid, this is a public safely issue for all.
If you feel the need: Contact the Community Service Dept, and report this, but you must have some proof. Or it's just your word against theirs. Otherwise, you'll have to let it go for now.
2006-08-27 02:03:21 · answer #3 · answered by Mama Mia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said that his son did collect the cans, and that counts as community service work. So I think his son should get the credit because he collected the cans.
I also think his dad was right to take them to the recyle place for his son, because his son should not be driving to the recycling place at all. Remember, you said his son had a DUI conviction!
I also think that any judge who would give someone ONLY community service for DUI, should be disbarred.
2006-08-26 23:53:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are two ways to look at this: One is called enabling and the other is codependency. Enabling is what the father is doing to his son's drinking...maybe the dad drinks, too, more than likely! Codependency is also enabling another with a habit, but worse...His dad not only accepts his drinking, but defends his son against the world. YOU? Back off. There is not a simple thing you can do! Let the future lie where it may with these two, spend your time with other friends. As sad as this is, this case is hopeless. They haven't listened to the court system, why would they listen to you! Thanks for posting!
2006-08-27 00:00:13 · answer #5 · answered by Barbara 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The father was wrong for what he did as his son will learn nothing and perhaps next time kill someone or himself. However, he is a father' it is difficult for many people to think rationally when their offspring is involved.
As far as what you should do. I think it is OK to tell him how you feel. You may even find that you don't want to be around him as a result (at least for a while.) Maybe that is the price the father has to pay for doing someting unethical and potentially damaging.
2006-08-26 23:48:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you feel, but even though he's your friend, he's also the young man's dad. You say this guy is your friend; if you want to keep it that way, "Back Off"!!! Your concerns are valid. Darn right the son should take responsibility for his actions, but if he hasn't learned by now, he never will, nor will his dad. You are a good friend to be concerned, but sometimes you have to choose your battles.
2006-08-26 23:51:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is sad, some parents will do anything for their children they don't realize that sometimes they need to let their children to do things on their own and pay their debts to society.
The fathers heart is in the right place but his head isn't.
I wouldnt get angry with the father but I would speak with him if he is your friend.
2006-08-26 23:49:50 · answer #8 · answered by mixwithanything 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him off, because you're right.
Don't expect him to hear you, because it's his son you're talking about.
Realize that the father and son are co-dependents, as their behavior demonstrates, and stay clear.
2006-08-26 23:44:12 · answer #9 · answered by Johnny Tezca 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, this is wrong, they both are at fault. You have the right to be bitter. How close of a friend is he?
2006-08-26 23:48:08 · answer #10 · answered by J W 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋