Any advice from other ppl within the military lifestyle what i should do and what you think about this ---- after getting married, i will only have 6 weeks of bliss before he is deployed to iraq.... i have heard so many stories of husbands straying and cheating on there spouses via the internet... so not only do i only have to worry about his safety and well been i also have to worry about his infidelity.... i also need to know what and how you would do to cope about moving to a new state and only living there for 2mths b4 you are left alone (im moving from nc to az)....
2006-08-26 22:18:31 · 23 answers · asked by wild_taz07 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
if you can trust HIM marry him. If you love HIM marry him. When you love someone you'll do just about anything for them. I know how it feels and looks but when he is home, it'll be wonderful. besides, you'll know what you've got, compared to most people who don't till its too late.
2006-08-26 22:23:25 · answer #1 · answered by xkitenx1982 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
My first question, Why not stay in NC while he is gone? Should the time ever come for my husband to go to Iraq, I'll be stayin' right where I am (North Carolina) It's already hard enough to deal without them being here, but to be put in a place where you know no-one? You won't have anyone to lean on ya know? As far as the infedility goes.. Yes marines, army, and every other branch will have a few men that cheat...just like civililans...there no different. there all men. some cheat.....some don't. If you feel like you already cant trust him them honey, don't marry him. It will only lead to more heart ache if everytime he is deployed you stay a nervous wreck thinking he is not being faithful to you. Go buy the book "Chicken Soup for the Military Wife's Soul" I LOVE THAT BOOK. It deals with depolyment's and just the daily struggle to be in a place that you've never been, being apart from your husband more than your with him, and a few other good stories. It really helped me have a better understanding of things. (My husband is a Marine) We've been married for 4 months (together for almost 2 years) and although it is hard sometimes, Him cheating...never crosses my mind. If you got a good man...then you just have to keep reminding yourself that he's going to keep being good to you...EVEN WHEN HE'S NOT WITH YOU. You'll still be able to talk to him over the computer almost daily (I THINK) and trust me, him just getting married then being shipped over there to Iraq, away from his bed, cuddling with you, yall's little moments, your smile, the way you kiss...He aint going to be studyin' another woman. He'll be trying to get on that computer so fast, and all...to talk to his wife---He'll miss you just as much as you'll miss him. Pray together, go to church together until he leaves. Both of you will draw strength from God when the time's get tough. Best of luck to yall.
2006-08-27 05:43:59 · answer #2 · answered by lost_carolina 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, let me say this...If you are worried about his infidelity, then why are you so obsessed in marrying this man? You cannot have a meaningful relationship from the start worrying if he is going to cheat on you via a computer. Does he have the same thought about you cheating on him while he is away serving this Great Country? Once you make the move to a new state and community, get involved with other spouses that are going through the same thing you are going through. The post that you will be stationed at will have Spouse Support Groups. The Military has other programs to help you cope with the deployment of your spouse. Get involved with programs offered at the base to help you cope with everyday life and stress of being a Military Spouse. The toughest job in the Military is being a Spouse. Get involved and support him, for he is doing this out of Love for you and this Great Country. It's not just a job, it's an adventure. Hang on and enjoy the ride. I rode it for twenty years. It's a long and rough road, mostly bumpy, but if you work on your relationship with this man that you are planning on marrying , then work on it and work on it HARD Life is not a Bowl of Cherries, you have to work at what you want. Never expect it to be handed to you on a Silver Platter. Good Luck! The experience can be rewarding if you want it bad enough.
2006-08-27 02:51:32 · answer #3 · answered by retired_e7 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend is currently in Afghanistan for 1 year...I will see him every approx 120 days....Before that we were in a Long distance relationship (texas-Miami)....Its the most fulfilling relationship Ive ever been in. When he comes back we plan on getting married right before he goes into special ops school. It can work, it just depends on how much you are willing to put into it. It sucks being without him but its nice to know that im still a WHOLE person even when he's not by my side. Make sure your independent and have plenty to keep you occupied while he's gone. Work toward common goals and keep the communication steady. Create a routine for yourself andit will make you feel closer to him. (ex. Go to work and everyday when you come home sit at the computer and tell him about your day...)he may not be able to respond as often as you but you will live for those responses and they will make you feel closer to him. Send him care packages and shop for interesting things to send him. Its hard work, thats why many relationships of that nature, fail. But if you are willing to put in the effort it will work and be worth the effort. Take care and stay positive....
oh and let me know what AZ is like.....we might PCS there...=)
2006-08-26 23:54:34 · answer #4 · answered by knufflebunny 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My son and I just moved to Germany on the 15th to accomany my husband for our three year assgn. The 16th My husband was told that they would deploy to Iraq on the 7th of Sept. It was a shock! But thats what an army wife is here to do. We support our husbands by moving to different states or countries just to be left behind. Which will happen alot believe me. You have to trust that your husband loves you and know that he loves you and wouldn't cheat, believe me while he's getting shot at everyday he's not gonna be thinking about another woman. He'll be thinking about making it make home to you as soon as possible and in one peice. When you get to Arizona you'll make new friends quickly esp. if you live on base. I assume your going to Ft. Huchuca, it is a great base. My parents are actually stationed there right now. You'll be suprised how easily you coap. As soon as you get there talk to the FRG leader for your husbands unit. Remind your husband that you support him and will me at home waiting on him when he gets back. And let him know that you are strong and that he needs to keep his mind on the mission and not worry about you at home. Because you will be just fine.
2006-08-27 01:20:23 · answer #5 · answered by Heather D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't worry about the infidelity part, as a husband currently deployed to Kuwait I often hear about others worried about this but if you trust the man you are marrying you shouldn't have anything to worry about, I have heard many people destroy their marrieges here because they are constantly mistrustful of their spouse. Always remember why you married him in the first place and stay away from negative attitudes from people who will generalize just because the person is in the military. I have been serving in the Navy for the last five years and it would never even cross my mind to cheat on my wife. Even when I'm deployed overseas for long periods of time. Good luck to the both of you.
2006-08-26 22:34:01 · answer #6 · answered by Jody 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
If you don't mind me asking? Where at in AZ. Are you being stationed here at FT. Huachuca? This is where my husband and I are located. It's not a bad place. Have your husband get with his Company commander to fill out contact sheets for FRG (Family Readiness group) and go to there functions and meetings. They can be a wonderful way to meet new friends and are a wonderful means of support for deployment.
2006-08-27 01:46:55 · answer #7 · answered by paige_98_69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations! You will become one of the hundred of thousands of elite women in the world.
Elite Why? Because being a military wife opens the doors for so many opportunities that many civilian wives do not have access to.
Deployment. Yes, we are in a situation in the world today (War on Terrorism) that requires deployment constantly. In this time, you should go to school, become part of the community, get a job (which I highly recommend) and learn about the military.
Cheating. Yes and No. In Iraq and Afghanistan you won't have to worry about that. Civilian or military if someone is going to cheat on the other, then they are going to do it...regardless of occupation.
It is not easy to adapt to, I'm not going to feed you a bunch of lies, but once you adapt to it, once you understand the power of a Department of Defense Identification Card, the schooling and education benefits, medical, dental, etc., it is a great life.
Gossip: This destroys allot of dreams no matter military or civilian. Facts are facts, gossip are perhaps some peoples envious ideas?
Tips: Join women/wives clubs and groups. Don't sit at home and eat chips and watch TV all day, it is also an opportunity for you to find a career, and find what you want in life.
Congradulations.
2006-08-26 22:30:41 · answer #8 · answered by Fitforlife 4 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Your first edit is odd. Just because one is a civilian does not mean they do not understand the mentality of the job/responsibility must go on. I am married to a career Marine; to tell you the truth, I can handle sickness better than he ever can. When he gets sick, you would swear the world is ending. You are typecasting everyone in the military and civilian world and that seems a bit myopic on your part. And what is a “civilian” need. Last time I checked service-members are humans just like civilians. The job is entirely different, along with the responsibility attached; however they all have the same "needs." The ability to cope, is often based on the personality of an individual to handle challenges and sickness. Someone who serves most likely has a mindset that permits them to handle this better than some. Remember though, tons of “civilian” jobs require dedication, responsibility and sacrifice despite their current situation of health. Do not discredit civilians as if they are the “weak” and you are the “capable.” Like I mentioned, this is myopic on your part.
2016-03-17 03:12:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, if you trust him, don't listen to what other people have to say about their cheating boyfriends or husbands. Their relationships may not be like your relationship is.
Second, the military have a saying... "what goes TDY, stays TDY"... in other words, you will most likely never know exactly what went on there so don't stress about it. The military lifestyle does make it hard on a young couple, but if you truly love one another and are devoted to on another, you don't have to worry about straying.
Third, when you get to your new base... have your husband introduce you to some of the wives of other servicemen in his flight or section. They can be a huge help while he is gone, and they will understand what you are going through. Also, use the "family support center" as much as possible... they have trained professionals who can help you with any problems you encounter while he is gone. Last, keep in close contact with your family, maybe have some of them come visit you while he is deployed, this will help you to keep busy... keeping busy will definitely make the time pass quicker.
Congratulations on your marriage, and best wishes for your future.
2006-08-26 22:38:19 · answer #10 · answered by Laurie V 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋