hi i have a 5 year old daughter whose behaviour is really bad i cant reason with her or even sit her out help?

Question

yes their is a father we both work long hours and beleive it or not i work in a nursery but its different when its your own i dont like smacking and have tried all super nanny tricks their is two older children in their teen and i have noticed so is starting to copy them

Answer 1

i have a five year old too, and at times he can be very trying! I find that, if he does something wrong, or doesn't listen to me, i give him a warning first. I tell him, 'if you don't stop this behaviour, or if you do that again, such and such will happen'. If he doesn't listen after the first warning, i take action, usually by removing his most treasured toy of the moment. DONT give empty threats, always follow through, and ignore all tantrums which may result because you stick to your guns. Giving in, even once, means your child will think anything you warn her about wont happen, so you must see it through, don't give in! Try to stay calm, getting wound up and shouting doesn't work as your little girl will be able to see her behaviour affects you. Don't spank, it doesn't work, whatever people say. Remember, a five year old might just be looking for attention through naughty behaviour, after all, they seem to get more when they are being naughty, just not the right kind. Always praise her for things she does well, and she will begin to see good behaviour works too! Do you have other kids? Or a busy job? Maybe quality time together doing something you both like will help? My kids love creative things, like baking and painting. Hope this helps!

Answer 2

My son is just as bad, doesn't listen to anything I say, is rude to people, irrational and just generally can be a very nasty little boy when he wants to be. I didn't believe in smacking either, and I tried all sorts, restricting toys, sending him to the naughty chair, etc. So he just got worse, to the point where i had to take him out of his birthday party as he was biting other kids that we had invited. At that point, a good hard smack was the only thing he listened too, combined with him having to throw all his birthday things in the bin himself in front of the other kids. It was horrible having to do it, and he doesn't get smacked every time he does something bad, but the shock of me actually doing it, stopped the bad behaviour for a while. The threat of it is usually enough now to curb his behaviour, and I also find that if I leave the room instead of sending him to a naughty place is starting to make a difference too. It's really hard I know but persevere, and don't be afraid to give her a smack IF the situation calls for it.

Answer 3

Hi
i just wanted to say, how I am sure you are being the absolute best Mum you can, and that is whether you are a stay at home mum or a working mum.
My son is going through a similar situation, and I work from home so I am with him all the time, his teacher said it was a very normal stage - and to do with growth spurts, emotional changes along with school etc.
you sound like you have some good discipline structures in place, I was advised to keep those up - also resorting back to what you used to do when they were younger, my son becomes very embarrassed when I start treating him as a baby, it really brings him up short.
The other think which seemed to really help for us is omega supplement i know its controversial, but its not going to hurt, also just recheck her diet for extra additives and colourings you could easily knock out.
Good luck not long to schools back

Answer 4

I know how you are feeling I'm having the exact same problem with my son who's 6. the super nanny actions don't work and with working in a nursery those techniques don't work either i to work in a nursery. have you noticed any change in her behaviour for the worsed and do you find it's always you punishing her and does she spend more time with you if so maybe dad should take control as i send mine to his room till dad comes home then he gives the lecture. if this don't work try taking away favourite toys ,TV and things such as no chocolate, sweets etc. does your child lash out or have difficulty with authority in school very fidgety cant sit and concentrate for long periods if so maybe you see you doctor.

Answer 5

When you daughter seems out of control to you, put her on your lap and hold her there, where she can't move, for 1 minute for every year she is in age, so you said she was 5 years old, hold her for 5 minutes, this works well, and I think is better than time out in a chair or couch, or sending to the bedroom, I know this sounds mean, but, I had a lady from, Child Protective Services tell me to do this with my boys,{and no, I have never delt with CPS, on my kids. I was at a friend when they came to vist her, and I asked a few questions} I think it works well, as for her repeating what she sees the teenagers do, as these teen not to do things in front of you daughter, this will help.......... good luck

Answer 6

At this age they do start to copy what they see so perhaps ask your older children to act appropriately around your 5 year old and see if she copies there good behaviour another alternative is a parenting coarse it sounds extreme but i went on a parenting coarse and it really helped knowing there were other parents out there having the same difficulties i was

Answer 7

Why am I not surprised? 2 parents that work long hours, and so you come home and you don't have the energy to spend time with your 5 year old. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that this child is looking for attention, and the only way she's going to get it is by acting out.

Sounds like the child is crying for help.

Doesn't it sound selfish to be expending your time working with other kids, and not using that time with your own kid?

Answer 8

A good wack on the rear works every time!! I didn't want to spank my children either but I find that if you cannot deal with their behavior and they won't listen and nothing else works a nice little wack to a bare butt works wonders!! Now I do not beat my child I give him an option to stop what he is doing. After I tell him to stop I count to 3 and if he doesn't listen I pull down his pants and give him 2 or 3 good smacks and he gets the point and doesn't do what I told him not to do again. It is not against the law to discipline your children. I am very good friends with a child protective services worker and she told me herself that as long as you do not use any kind of object to hit them with (belt,stick,ect.) then it is perfectly fine.

Answer 9

I get the whole acting out for attention thing and that does not make it right. Spanking a bottom or inner thigh worked for me, you are NOT abusing your child, after a short time they'll get the picture and all it will tke is a stern look. You don't want him to grow up and end up in a cell, It happens

Answer 10

I would gather there isn't a father in the picture? Your daughter will only do what you allow her to do. You need to watch Super Nanny on tv for visual demonstrations.