My cousin lives in Oregon, and she found out today that her fiance has an online love interest. There are all sorts of messages from him telling her how much he loves her, etc. She is just sick about it. She doesn't want her father to know, because she doesn't want him to hate Will if they do end up mending their relationship. I offered my home to her anytime, and I live in Nebraska. But her fiance threatened that he will take their baby away, and he would get custody of him, because she is bi-polar. She is scared to leave him, because she doesn't want to lose her baby. She does work in a hospital as a CNA, and she takes medication for bi-polar. Can she and the baby come out to Nebraska for awhile to sort her mind out? What if she decides to leave him and stay here? Would anyone be able to take the baby away from her? Obviously, if she does decide to stay with me for awhile, she will lose her job. (she just started at the hospital) I do have enough money for them here.
2006-08-26 20:35:02 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Child custody in Oregon is a strange thing. If they aren't married and no custody has been assigned by the state, then she can take the child and come to visit/live with you. But if there is a parenting plan that is a legal document, any change in that by her moving would mean he would have the right to take her to court to ask for custody. Her medical conditions would be considered, but the court will look at the "best interest of the child" first. What I found this to mean was the court looks at who is caring for the child, how much the kiddo sees each parent at the moment, and then decides how to try to keep that constant. In other words, for the child the best thing is the ability to see both parents and to have as little change as possible. To meet this goal, they figure if you move, it's not for their needs, it's for yours. So... the court could well decide to give him custody and that she would have to pay for all trips back to see her own child. If the child is nursing, then obviously the little one would stay with mom, but she might be required to fly him to Nebraska to visit the kiddo at your home.
My advise - do what the court is doing. If the child is his, isn't in the child's best interest to know and love both parents? If she's in Nebraska, then certainly if he's in Oregon, that will be hard for the child to do. But a visit is a completely different thing (say 2 weeks). Call it a 'cooling off period' to see if the parent's can resolve their problems. But is a two week visit worth loosing your new job over? I personally wouldn't do it. If he's unfaithful now, it's a good reason NOT to get married though. That habit doesn't change in most cases.
2006-08-27 05:54:10 · answer #1 · answered by An Oregon Nut 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since they are not married, the mother presumably has legal custody of the baby and can take the child wherever she pleases. The father could instigate a custody suit, but the law favors the mother (bipolar notwithstanding, as long as controlled by medication). As for mending the relationship, on the evidence you have presented that would be a SERIOUS mistake: she needs to be rid of the bozo like yesterday. So, yes, take her in, and enjoy.
2006-08-27 03:48:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I would encourage her to try and mend the relationship before moving and losing her job. Who ends up with the child depends on who has the money to raise the child and who would be a better parent.
She should tell her father, hiding stuff like this from him worries me a lot.
It is truly too hard to tell if he is just bluffing or what. If he is messing around with someone else that is going to hurt him in court big time so if she does go I would say to get copies of this relationship so she can prove it later if she needs to.
You say you have enough money for all of this, have you included attorney's fees? This is a family court matter, you do not get a public defender if you are poor, you don't get anything.
2006-08-27 03:45:26 · answer #3 · answered by MrPurrfect 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a sad story. I hope it works out. Her fiance sounds like a real jerk to use PC language. I think it's best for her to leave him, whether to live with you or perhaps somewhere in the place she is already to keep her job. She's not his fiance anymore, right? I don't know the law that well. Maybe there is an attorney on here that can help you answer some of this. Is he abusive? I hope it works out.
2006-08-27 03:45:11 · answer #4 · answered by nolongeravailableatY!Answers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think she will lose her child just because of a medical condition. If she is on medication and stays on it, I'm sure it will help her case.
Also, if she is a CNA she should have no problem getting a job anywhere she lives. There is a great demand for medical personnel. I do believe she should seek legal counsel to get custody of her child.
2006-08-27 03:51:57 · answer #5 · answered by Bea 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
legal help needed
im no offense to your cousin
but she's bi-polar thats not the best thing for her kid unless she's on her meds
2006-08-27 04:47:46 · answer #6 · answered by brazilianbeauty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
legal help needed here, right away
2006-08-27 03:41:44 · answer #7 · answered by winkcat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋