funniest joke gets 10 make that 12 points (kinda...) cmon make me laugh!!!
2006-08-26 20:04:22 · 20 answers · asked by Winner! 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Life is full of emotions like laughing, smiling, crying, weeping, fear, hatred, jealousy and many more. Out of all these, laughing is loved and liked by all. That is why someone has rightly said, “ You laugh and the world will laugh with u, you weep and u shall weep alone.” Sometimes, life becomes monotonous and one starts getting bored. To remove such monotonousness and boredom, I feel that surfing on the following websites can be helpful in making one cheerful, refreshen up and gain some emotional or psychological energy too. Surf on them and see how helpful these are to u to bring a smile on ur face.
http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp
http://www.indiabook.com/jokes/Entertainment_and_Arts/Bollywood/
Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps u in making u laugh. Enjoy and have fun..
2006-09-02 03:38:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 3⤋
LIFE
The funniest thing about life is the way it ends.
I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time.
What do you get in the end of it?
DEATH. What's that. a bonus?
I think the life cycle is all backwards.
You should die first, you know, start out dead, get it out of the way.
You should wake up in an old age home, feeling better every day.
You get kicked out for being too healthy, go and collect your pension.
Then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.
You work 40 years until you are young enough to enjoy your retirement.
Then you drink alcohol, you party, you're generally promiscuous (hey, you've only got a few years left, what's the big deal?)
Then you get ready for High School.
Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, and finally, you become a baby.
The last step, you spend your last nine months floating peacefully with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap, larger quarters every day, and then.....Your finish off as an orgasm!
Thank You and Have a Nice Day!!
2006-09-03 10:40:59 · answer #2 · answered by trippinhippie_069 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think I have one that you will like.
A man and his wife were having some problems at the house, and they both were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realised that the next day he was going to have to wake up early at 5:30 am in the morning for an important flight to a very important business meeting. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, and lose. The man took a piece of paper and wrote, "Please wake me at 5:30 in the morning." He left the paper in a place where in knew that she would find it, then he went to sleep. The next morning, the man woke up, only to see that it was 9:00, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife had not woke him at 5:30, as he had asked, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It's 5:30 AM, wake up!" Men are not equipped for this types of contests.
2006-09-03 23:56:22 · answer #3 · answered by Kahyon F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man came home from work and found his five children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.
The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dogs.
Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.
In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.
In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.
He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.
As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"
She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?"
"Yes," was his incredulous reply.
She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."
2006-09-03 21:45:17 · answer #4 · answered by damsel36 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A woman had a parrot that she took with her everywhere she went.
She would even take the parrot to the club with her when she went
dancing and drinking on Saturday nights. Whenever the woman went onto
the dance floor, the parrot would yell, "The roof, the roof, the roof
is
on fire, we don't need no water-let the muthafukkah burn!
Burn, muthafukkah, burn!" The crowd on the dance floor would always
cheer and holler in appreciation when the parrot would yell. This would
make the parrot yell even more and of course make the crowd go wild.
This
would go on all night long, everytime the parrot went out.
One Sunday morning the woman took the parrot to church and into the
choir stand with her.
And when the choir started to sing, the parrot yelled, "The roof, the
roof,
the roof is on fire, we don't need no water-let the muthafukkah burn!
Burn, muthafukkah, burn! She embarrassingly corrected the parrot,
"No, you don't say that here!!"
The parrot looked around and asked, "Why not? These are the same
muthafukkahs that was at the club last night!!!..
2006-09-02 16:34:38 · answer #5 · answered by Utd4Life 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You can't give people 12 points unless its coming out of your point system! But the maximum is up to 10 pts!!!
2006-09-02 14:58:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
"Who's Stup*d?"
Two friends walking along the street suddenly stopped in front of an object crossing their path. "It's a cake Joe!" yelled Mac. "NO! it's a poof!," aswered Joe. "It's a cake!" ... "a poof!!"
..argument lasted for half an hour and finally the two decided to test their theories. Intent on proving his friend wrong, Mac started to take a lick on his cake.
"Joe...my dear friend, it is indeed a poof...a mule's perhaps." he humbly pronounced.
"Oh Mac you stu**d mor*n! I told you so! Whew! good thing we didn't step on it."
2006-09-03 00:48:08 · answer #7 · answered by Henr 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
After a ship sank in the ocean, three men ended up stranded in a lifeboat. They floated around for days without food or water. One afternoon a bottle floated up to the boat. The men grabbed the bottle and when they pulled the cork out of the bottle, a genie appeared.
'I'll grant each of you a single wish,' said the genie.
'I wish I was home,' said the first man. Then, poof! he disappeared.
'I wish I was home, too,' said the second man. Poof! He disappeared too.
The third man looked around. 'Gee, I'm kind of lonely,' he said. 'I wish my friends were here with me.'
2006-08-27 05:42:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
Sorry, I have already posted my funny jokes.
You will have to look for my picture to read them.
2006-09-04 02:30:04 · answer #9 · answered by Woody 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Japanese, The Chinese, and the Indonesian was tryin to prove who's best in swordfighting. Scince they're rivals, They agreed to assure the one who can slash a fly in mid air is the winner
a fly flew nearby
The Japanese Drawed his sword and "HHAAAIIIIKKK!!!" SLAaaaAAASSHH!
He Said Look No heads!!!
The Chinese was Shocked but said thats eazy!!! everyone can do that!
The Chinese Saw a fly then "Haayyaaahhh!!! Slashed it!!
He said Look No Wings!! beat that!
The INdonesian Said Look at me, he blindfolds his eye and slashed something in mid-air.
The Jap and Chinese said, hey nothing happened??
The Indonesian said look deeply, i have circumsated that son of satan!!
The Jap and Chinese, Said whatda heck??
and nod to the ground
As quick as lightning the Indonesian incapitated them and said
Look Whos number 1 !!!!
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whats the different between a japanese brain and a indonesian??
Japanese is "fully loaded"
an Indonesian is "Wright Protected"
2006-08-27 03:32:54 · answer #10 · answered by BigBoy 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋