How do you deal with the loss of a love one?

Question

I lost both my oldest brother and mother in 2003. Since then, my life has really changed. I miss them both very much and sometimes it still seems unreal that they are gone. How can one deal with such a loss in their life?

Answer 1

well first of all i am sorry for your loss it is very hard i know. But here is what helps me not sure if your religous but they are in a better place now not suffering. Also they will never pass away in spirit long as you are alive as they continue to live in you remember you have there blood and you have all the wonderful memories to keep them alive they are apart of you don't ever for get that. So when you start feeling down just start thinking about the good times you had talking about them is a true way to cheer up because if you keep your feelings bottled up you will become depressed and could even make yourself sick and i doubt that your mom and brother would want that. One more thing i am guessing you was closs to them or you wouldn't ask this question so you knew them well enough to answer this . What would they say to you if they were to see you down and depressed think about that answer and there is where your strenght to get through it is.

Answer 2

I don't think there is any one answer to fit this question. Different people grieve in different ways plus the specific circumstances surrounding the loss of a loved one can affect how one grieves.

I have lost several family members, most recently my sister. She was only 51 and, because of a doctor's negligence, all that was wrong initially was a gall stone.

My sister and I were very close, as children, if you wanted to find her all one need do is look for me. As adults the bond was just as strong if not more so. One thousand miles apart and we could always sense when the other was in need. I would look for her misplace phone number and she would call me before I found it.

I had the greatest, and yet the worst fortune to be at the bedside holding the hand of my mother and my sister as they passed. My mother had been ill for some time, although she was only sixty at the time of her death. She had suffered so in her final months, it was almost a relief when she finally gave up her spirit.

My sister was an entirely different story, it has also been much more difficult to get past her loss. She was only 51. She went to the hospital with severe abdominal pain. They treated her for pneumonia and ignored the actual problems fro which she sought medical attention. After one week, they had yet to even address the cause of her abdominal pain and her now swollen abdomen which made her appear 8 months pregnant.

After three weeks in the hospital, they had still not addressed the original problem. She had been having wild temperature changes and was in and out of a semi comatose state for three weeks. This particular day she seemed lucid and clear, but she was also very concerned that something was not right. I had been at her bedsire for the past three weeks only leaving to eat and walk the dog.

This particular day, about 2:30 in the afternoon told her I would go get something to eatr and be back soon.She asked that I not leave because "something is not right." I told her she was looking better and I would be back in an hour or two, that she should rest untilI get back. I returned to her room about 4:00... her heart had stopped and she was now considered brain dead.

My mother's end brought relief to end her suffering, my sister's end was an outrage for which I have been unable to shake feelings of guilt. No loss is easy to accept, but some are far worse than others. The one thing I can tell you is the old "time heals all wounds" is a load of crap! The wounds will ALWAYS be there, it is simply that, with time, the intensity may deminish.

You will never "get over" your loss. Hopefully, with time and support of freinds and family, the pain will subside somewhat, but the hole, the piece of soul ripped from your heart will never again be filled. I pray that you find comfort, that God helps you through this time so that you can find peace in your life.

Answer 3

Know that they went to a better place continue to remember them and love them but do not live in the past you must move on. Talk to other family member Grandparents aunts and uncles even close friends that have been through the lose of loved ones.It will not happen over night there is an old saying that time heals all

Answer 4

oh bless you, this is very hard. Bereavement of any kind is a deeply painful experience, but to have two in the same year is a double blow to you.

I have lost parents, one tragically, and that happened a long time ago. The grief gets less intense as time goes by, but you will never forget them and certainly would'nt want to.

Then eight years ago my youngest child who was 12 died in a tragic accident. The loss of our loved ones is something which eventually we learn to cope with better as the years go by, and the deep sadness is replaced with happy memories.

I have recently started a Bereavement Support Group online
Here is the link if you wish to join
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Bereavement_Support
where there is good advice and support if you would like it.

Answer 5

I do believe that time will help you to deal with your loss. I lost my father at a young age in 1987, and it devastated me. I felt that loss for several years after that. Now, I truly miss him, and I still have thoughts about him that make me upset from time to time. Usually, it is on the anniversary of his death.

Answer 6

You have to realize that - if you believe it - they are both in a much better place! The people who are now gone are not the ones who are suffering -- it is those of us who are "left on" this earth who hurt, due to their loss and to the lack of their presence, and their conversations with us. It may sound corny, but - try to imagine how they, who are now gone, would WANT you to feel, now that they are absent from your life.

Answer 7

I'd suggest u pray to God. u may try 2 get sum proffessional help.or try to get engaged in sumthin' if possible tht can hlp u 4get the pain. u must realise tht grieving all the time for the lost ones will not bring thm back.u must move on.thtswht they wud have wanted u to do i'm sure.i know it must be really hars 4 u.i hope i've been helpful

Answer 8

I am very sure you are born with a special, unique & exclusive talent, which was and which will never be duplicated to anybody else. First discover that special talent of yours. Your purpose of birth is to specialise in that talent. Your purpose of birth is not to keep worrying about losses in life. It is only a passing phase in harnessing your specialised talent. Automatically, you will stop missing your brother and mother and you will be busy in achieving your purpose.

Simultaneously, you will always remember them for their good deeds. But will never miss them to overcome your loneliness.

Please Specialise. Keep practicing. And serve universe with your talent.

Answer 9

wow that is a very very hard thing to go through. i think visiting there graves help a lot. and make sure you have grieved. im guessing you have other siblings since u said oldest, i would talk to them about it. tell them how you feel. theyre probably feeling the same way.

Answer 10

I am sorry about your loss. You will always have your memories and it is ok to miss them.
You can always join a support group and that will help. You have to go on and make them proud of you.
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