depressed friend?

Question

I think my friend is depressed, she just stays in her room, crys and sleeps. She doesnt eat and has no intrest in talking on the phone or going anywhere. This has been going on for a week. Her and her boyfriend got in a fight and broke up ever since then shes been like this. They were together for three years, i think they got back together, but she cant talk to him because she just doesnt want to be on the phone, i think this is hurting her more. How can i help her before she has to go to the doctor?

Answer 1

You are a really good friend! You obviously care about your friend a lot and you are very aware that she is not taking care of herself or doing things that she previously enjoyed.

Something that may be helpful is telling her that you really care about her and that you are really concerned about her. You can let her know that you don't really know how to help her, but you know someone who can (you may want to do a bit of research and find someone who is nearby who is better trained to deal with these types of situations). Tell her that you've talked to this person and that person is a really great listener and you think he/she will be able to help you a bit more than you can since he/she has dealt with these types of situations before. Offer to go with her--she may feel scared and may need your support. Let her know that you are doing this because you care about her--her health is very important to you, and it is making you sad and worried that she is obviously not doing well!

From what you wrote, it sounds like your hunch is right--that your friend may be clinically depressed. It is really important to have her evaluated by a mental health professional: social worker, psychologist, psychiatrist. They will be better able to ascertain what is going on and provide an intervention that will be helpful for your friend.

Also, it sounds like you are in school, is this correct? If so, I would recommend talking to someone at school--perhaps the school's counseling and psychological services, the Resident Assistant in your dormitory, etc. Assure your friend that whomever she talks to, her situation will be kept confidential. Services at school are probably free for a certain number of sessions, which can definitely be helpful for your friend if finances is something that she could potentially be worried about.

I really believe that you are doing a great service for your friend by reaching out and asking people what would be best for your friend. Continue to be there for her and support her. She really needs you right now, even though she may not know it.

Another thing: please make sure you take care of yourself. I think that so often, we are so concerned with the people around us we care so much about that we forget to take care of ourselves and we suddenly become overwhelmed with the situation and feel as though we can't handle it anymore--we may start feeling anxious about our friend, or we may begin to feel depressed ourselves and beat ourselves up because we can't fix their problems!! Please remember that you are already a fantastic person and friend for wanting to help your friend out so much. Continue to take care of yourself by eating and sleeping right. When your friend receives professional help, you may want to consider getting some counseling yourself too, just to process this situation with someone. It may be helpful to get your thoughts and feelings out there and not coop them up...

Best of luck. Take care.

Answer 2

You can help her by being a good listener, letting her know that she can talk to you any time of day or night. Don't be judgmental or try to give her advice. Let her do the talking if she's in the mood, if she's not then just be there for support. At some point a doctor might be the best course of action.

Answer 3

ITS HARD TO FIG OUT WHAT TO DO SOME PEOPLE NEED A STRONG PERSON TO DRAG THEM OUT AND OTHER JUST NEED SUPORT BUT LIKE THE REST OF THE ANSWERS SAY DO NOT LEAVE HER ALONE (BEING ALL ALONE WILL MAKE IT WORSE) YOU HAVE TO BE A GOOD FRIEND AND LOOK FOR ALL THE RIGHT MOVES AND LISTEN TO HOW SHE TALKS MAKE SURE SHE IS REMINDED OF HER WORTH IN A VERY SUTTLE WAY DONT PUSH HER BUT BE THEIR FOR HER EVEN IF IT MEANS YOU HAVE TO DRAG HER AROUND WITH YOU , FIND THINGS SHE LIKED TO DO IN THE PAST AND BRING HER INTO DOING SOME OF THOSE THING AGAIN YOU HAVE TO BE VERY GOOD AT TRICKING HER INTO DOING THEM WITH YOU TELL HER YOUR GOING TO PICK UP SOMETHING DOWN TOWN THEN WORK INTO THE OTHER THINGS SHE WILL FIGHT YOU IF YOU JUST SAY LETS GO TO THE STORE OR PARK OR SWINING HOLE DEPRESSED PEOPLE DONT SEE A FUTURE AND WILL DO HARM TO THEMSELVES YOU HAVE TO GET TO THE PAST OUT AND MAKE IT THE FUTURE IT TAKES LOVE AND TIME HANG IN THERE SOUNDS LIKE SHE'S LUCKY TO HAVE YOU AS A FRIEND IF IT DOESNT GET BETTER MAKE SURE ALL OF HER FAMILY IS AWARE OF IT ON THE QT SHE WILL NEED PRO. HELP IF IT GETS WORSE JFB

Answer 4

talk to her. She doesn't have to talk back only listen. Tell her you are worried that you think she should see a doctor. If she disagrees or refuses keep pressing her. Get more people to help u on this. Just keep trying to get her out of bed. Take it day by day. Get her out of bed, get her to bathe, eat, talk to you, then see a doctor.

Answer 5

You can help her by getting her to a doctor NOW. She sounds seriously depressed..this is not a wait' around and see what happens situation'...be a real good friend..force her to get help..She can be helped..doctors do this all the time..

Answer 6

she's very lucky to have a friend like you. i never had a friend like u. the only thing u CAN do is to try to get her mind off of things. invite her to go somewhere that she usually likes. if that doesn't work, then accompany her to the doctor. then go from there.

Answer 7

a week isnt much, if it continues a month then get her to a doctor, just keep trying your best to be a good friend until then.