Whenever I meet a girl that I'm interested in I always manage to slip into the role of "friend". For some reason, girls are very comfortable around me and often tell me things that they wouldn't tell anyone else. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful to have these strong friendships, but sometimes I want to be more than just friends. I believe that a good relationship should start with a good friendship, but the girls that I'm interested in seem to think differently. Any advice?
2006-08-26 16:44:46 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If it's a recurring thing, it's probably because you're giving too much. If there's no exchange, where they're giving YOU a listening ear, advice, etc., then the connection is only going in one direction. I'm not saying to be a dick, but do be confident. In the end, you don't want a girl that doesn't like the real you, anyway.
2006-08-26 16:54:33 · answer #1 · answered by Pearlie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Somehow it never trasitions from friendship to girlfriend. Somehow, you need to let the girl know that you are interested in more. Maybe you're waiting too long to speak up, and as a result, you both get very comfortable in the friends roles.
2006-08-26 23:52:05 · answer #2 · answered by mightymite1957 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It happens. I have boundaries when it comes to guys in my life. I decide if I want a guy as a friend or more than a friend someday...and then there's a line, I won't let them cross. The guys I choose as friends (which very often want to be more than friends with me,) can not touch me other than hugs or do romantic things or anything like that. I know myself enough to know what happens when touching happens, and then kissing, and bleh. If all that happens, it kind of throws the friendship off track for several reasons. And then there's the guys I decide I want to date, and we do date, but it doesn't work out for me, so we try and be friends....and it ends up too awkward because they all want to go back to square one, as daters, and can't stay in my definition of friends. That's MY rules...and i think there are definately other girls that build something simliar to it. We all decide in the early times we know a guy if we want to be more with them or not. Soemtimes it grows off, and sometimes it can grow to want more...but doesn't happen often.
2006-08-26 23:49:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being just a friend. If you weren't ok with her going out with other people and telling you about it, you should have just told her that you are interested and it makes you jealous. Heck, the girls might even speculate that you're gay.
If you don't SAY that you are interested and ask a girl out who you like, but just always are there to talk to about stuff, then you're basically a girlfriend. I knew a lot of guys like that.
The guys they are going out with... are they "friends"? No. They are hunks.... You have to put your foot down sometimes and if she's more than a friend, stop just being her friend.
It's self-destructive.
2006-08-26 23:50:08 · answer #4 · answered by Mama R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
shes into you but you are probably not someone her friends would like so she tells you about her boyfriend and things that she wouldnt tell anyone but her friends you are doing good but if you really want this girl you have to do a little more like do you ever ask her if she wants to go out and try to be of a leader girls tend to like this trait in a guy for some reason youve got to take control
2006-08-26 23:50:49 · answer #5 · answered by norman d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awww! I really understand what you're going through. In my more immature years, I left a trail of "friends" in my wake. Have you considered that you're into the wrong type of girls? There are some girls that are only into superficial relationships, you just need to find a girl that is mature enough to know that in the end, they really ought to be with their best friend.
2006-08-26 23:54:58 · answer #6 · answered by Chellebelle78 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 45 and have only just figured this out. You have to be unavailable...a little cocky...more of a challenge. We all want what we can't have. It has always be against my true personality. I am a giver. But now...now that I make EVERYTHING about ME it's working. My son once told me that I needed to be more of a player. I didn't know what that meant at that time, let alone how to do it. But now that I do and I am, it's working. Playing a game of sorts, but it works.
2006-08-26 23:53:30 · answer #7 · answered by deytripper_yeah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem. Maybe we need to be more confident and just go for it. All I know is that I won't be so concerned with building a friendship first from now on.
2006-08-26 23:46:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dude throw away your beliefs, woman want a Man, someone who is dominant, strong..etc they want the Alpha-male, you are always a friend either cause your too"nice" or your very not confident about yourself, next time you want a girl, show her you are a man, show her that there's only 1 you, and no one is as good as you. You know what I mean.
2006-08-26 23:54:03 · answer #9 · answered by Romeo31 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well maybe you might be sending the wrong signals to these s maybe all they see when they look at you is a friend because you send the vibe thats all you want it to be so next time you meet a hottie just act like you're TOTALLY interested and turn up the flirt!
2006-08-26 23:47:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋