i find out by mistake and now when ever i can't get him i think he is with her,and now he make me sick and i feel now that i will never get married and i am wasting my time staying with him. help me ladies
2006-08-26 14:48:34 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I Found Out last weekend my husband was cheating July 19 Was our 10 year ann. and we also have 2 kids I know what you are going through But I can't go back once the trust is broken you can't go back you will fight more than you ever did before don't do this to your children and let them think it's o.k. for there father to treat you that way. Good luck i will keep you in my prayers
2006-08-26 14:55:08 · answer #1 · answered by momoftwis22002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no easy answer to this question, no matter what people tell you. There are alot of variables involved in this, not the least of which are the kids. I've been married for 17 years and 2 years ago made a big mistake but we've worked through it and our marriage is better than ever. We involved no-one else in this problem, including our kids. It was a very hard time for us both but we managed to turn this setback into an opportunity to be come closer. I have always been a great husband and great father and continue till this day. We are all human and are all vunerable to making foolish mistakes.
"Let he without sin cast the first stone".
2006-08-26 15:07:03 · answer #2 · answered by Agent 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, if u can be strong enough for u and the kids. Leave him, especially if u don't love him anymore(that's what it sounds like). It's not good for ur kids to watch u not trust their dad. IT's not good for his kids to watch him cheat on their mom. The tension isn't good for anyone. By putting ur kids through this, y'all are being bad parents. But if u leave, and give him joint custody...then all is the same. The only difference is that u guys will be paying each other child support, ur kids will be shuffled around from house, and both parents will be happy. Just learn to be civil when it comes to the kids though..because they will see tension between parents and that will affect them. U said he's a good dad, that's y I recommend joint custody. No need to use his kids to punish him just cuz he's a shitty husband. But if u don't want to end it...just both of u...go out on date w/each other and just talk it all out, and try to resolve ur mutual pain.
2006-08-26 15:00:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It comes down to a choice. Is he remorseful and wanting to fix the relationship. If so, your choice is if you want to do it. It will take a long time to rebuild the trust, but it can be done. He will need to be patient and not get upset when you question him about where's he's been etc. It is a process. If you choose to forgive him and work it out, part of that is choosing to trust him until he gives you another reason to otherwise. Hopefully he never will, and will remain faithful. If you forgive him, try not to keep bringing it up, you will need to talk about it initially as part of healing, after that try to let it go and choose to trust him again. My husband had an affair but he showed absolutely no remorse and doesn't to this day. He had no desire to work it out, so we got divorced. I would have like to work it out however. God Bless. I'm sorry for your situation, it's very painful.
2006-08-26 14:53:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just because he's a good dad so what. If he cheated once, it's hard to trust someone. you'll never trust him again or maybe not for a very long time. My opinion if you dont have trust ya dont have a relationship. Just be glad that he is a good dad because my kid's father dont see or talk to them not even on their birthday. I'd say you're wasting your time you're not trusting him. I tried to be with someone that cheated on me and had a baby with someone while i was 8 months pregnant. It's never the same. good luck
2006-08-26 15:04:12 · answer #5 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's still cheating on you, get a divorce. If he makes you that sick and you can't stop thinking about his mistress, he's not good enough nor committed to you. Why stay with someone that doesn't love you? As far as him being a good dad, keep the kids under your custody, but let them visit him from time to time.
2006-08-26 14:52:51 · answer #6 · answered by Steve-O 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all yall have been dating for 10 years... something is wrong with that. He has been wasting your time. I think you can do better. (and I don't even know you like that). He can still be a good father to your kids though, you don't have to cut him off. But you have to do something for you now... move on.
2006-08-26 14:55:50 · answer #7 · answered by clg121687 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what do u think? if you still love him then keep him if you feel this id to big for you to handle then let him go. i no its not gonna be easy but try, whatever your heart says to do do it. if you want time to think you got all day but be wise and think hard because one little mistake can ruin your childs and your life. personally im 13 but i no enough to realize that your child isn't old enough to realize whats happening its like they will feel caught up in the parents mess. they will grow up to hate their dad thats what no parents should teach their kids. you probably dont no notice but they will grow up to be confused and they wont no who to trust. honestly if i were you i wouldnt let him go just yet i would let him be in the kids life for now till they are old enough to understand. then you can cut him out of your life 4ever and find someone else you can trust but not totally cause you cant trust anyone totally, you always got to be suspicious. i went through the same as a child with my parents i feel like my life was a lie and still do. both my parents said different stories so im stuck with lies. but if i grew up half my life without a dad i will have more questions haunting my head. so the point is they would want to have a dad growing up with them or they will ask questions about wheres there dad...but remember its not easy to get rid of him. my mom tried getting rid of my dad but he wont go away cause im his child. so im guessing hes not going away any soon no matter how much you try to get rid of him cause he wants to be there for your kids, but once they hit 10 or 11 hes gotta go.P.S.( i hope you pick me for best answer)GOOD LUCK!!! I HOPE I HELP!!!
2006-08-26 16:02:45 · answer #8 · answered by jaz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would leave soon as possible,i would be looking for a place for the kid and you right away.That is no life for you or the kids.he made the mistake let him sleep in it.Once a cheat always a cheat.What gos around comes around,and it will hit him hard one day.
2006-08-26 14:55:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are wasting time with him. He's always going tobe a cheat.
Simple, those types never change.
You need your own life, without him. Their is a great guy who's waiting for you to break away from this looser.
2006-08-26 14:57:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋