I am a catholic and he is Mormon, will we have problems in the future?

Question

We are getting married and have discussed the difference between our religons, and he reassures me that we wont have problems -- even though there is a huge difference between the two religons... We are having a simple civil ceremony (and i know that his family is dissapointed with that --- as he will not been able to be sealed in the temple). We have also discussed the upbringing of future childeren (baptisim at birth or at 8yrs of age, alcholol, coffee / tea consumpution, dressing appropriately etc the list does go on). We love each other very much and have worked through our problems to date. But im very worried that this will soon change once we are married. What do you think?

Answer 1

Sounds to me like you are good at communicating these issues together. It doesn't sound to me like you have a "problem", just issues to work out is all. I think your biggest "problem" is going to stem from outsiders (the rest of the family).

My husband was methodist and I am Catholic. We decided to raise our children with the faith of both churches. CCD sunday school in the catholic church was the choice we made for my church. In the Methodist church, my children attended summer camp and bible school with the Methodist children.

As for church services we worked them out this way:
On Saturday evening we would attend Mass in the catholic Church and on Sundays we would attend methodist church services. If an issue arose that we were busy (vacations etc) on the weekend that we could only attend one service, then we attended the one that did not interfere with the family event we had planned.

THere were never problems between the kids or my spouse and I over this. We had worked this out before the wedding. My children are grown now and have picked their religion themselves (I have a daughter studying to become a catholic nun). Things worked out well, because my children had some say in what their own belief was. (and believe me, the methodists were a lot more fun than the catholics!). My kids today have a good well-rounded idea of faith and are able to respect the faith of others as well.

My spouse and I also were able to have a great appreciation for the other's faith even though we weren't from the same religion. I was able to see what his and his family's values were, and he got a wonderful appreciation of mine as well.

Other members of the family were our only problem.. they couldn't be opened minded to see things the way we were able to, because they did not have the knowledge of the two religions that we did. This is where you and your spouse will probably find problems, but remember: it isn't your family's life. IT"S YOURS!

Best of luck to you on your marriage.

Answer 2

I am a Mormon. Catholics are good people and I have some very good friends that are Catholic. However, problems always occur when there are differences in opinions (such as you will have over the years). I have found that the only way that it really works is for a lot of compromise to happen. And in the end, for it really to work, one of the two converts to the other religion. Now I don't know how strongly either of you take your religions.....this will play into it. I did notice that you know a lot obout his beliefs and such and the two of you have decided to not be married in either church. I admire your communication skills. It can work if you both continue to talk about everything and be open to the needs of each other.

I wish you well. May the Lord Bless and Keep You. Don't forget to pray about this and to let the Lord guide you in your choice.....it is an important choice that will affect you for the rest of your life and throughout all eternity.

Answer 3

It will most definitely. I can guarantee it. Why, because you both have very different "religious" convictions. They might not be a problem now, but they will sooner or later, unless you both give up being either one or you both compromise both of your religions. You are doing it even now. You may not think so, but you are. This comes from personal experience. It will cause friction, trouble, heartache, tension, reduction of spiritual freedom, may even make you stop going altogether.

This is not a scenario. This is not an off the wall answer. You will, have trouble, you can talk about it all you want, and decide how you are going to deal with each situation. But believe me it wont happen that way. I would like to say that it would, but from personal experience it will. Not just from me but others will tell you as well.

Children have it rough to begin with, this will cause more confusion as they search out their religious preferences?

Your marriage is a sacred bond, it is a union of two lives that become one in all things - Now look at your belief systems. Do this as an example of how it will be. Take separate pieces of paper and write on them your personal beliefs before you get married, then take the two lists, cut them apart with no rhyme or reason and dump them all in a can and then each of you randomly pick one piece out of the can and paste them together as they come out of the can - how does that work for you? Does it sound good when you are all done or is it confusing. Its the same thing when it comes to your marriage. Sorry.

Answer 4

This is so very hard. My family on my mothers side is Mormon and there are so many Aunts, Uncles, Cousins. My daddy's side is Lutheran and after my mother died, I was a young child and just wanted to go to church and Sunday school. The Mormon religion has some good principals but I have more peace being able to be myself and not be something that I am not. I would go slow because I was a child and some of my relatives still won't talk with me. Good Luck and may the lord be with you both.

Answer 5

I don't know a whole lot about Mormons, but I would answer you the same way I'd answer anyone who posted about 2 different religions. If you can agree on the most important issues (especially the way you want to raise your children) then love should be stronger than religion. If you both understand your different beliefs, and you obviously made it this far, I don't see why it should or would change.

Edit: I found this article about Catholics and Mormons:
You have a Mormon Girlfriend or Boyfriend?
Family Support
Family is very important to a Mormon. If your friend feels that they welcome in a supportive Catholic family, they will be more secure in a move to the Catholic Church. Tell your family about this and try to get their support in your goal for their conversion.

Attending Social Functions
It's OK to attend the Mormon social functions (which are usually fun!), but not their church services. Again, you will be giving your friend false hope. However, attending their social functions shows you will be willing to socialize with their circle of associates, should you decide to marry, and that you are open-minded.

Answer 6

Yes, it will cause problems. You've taken a good first step though. My husband and I actually wrote a marriage contract (not a prenup., but a ceremonial contract-- a personal Oath). We spelled out children, money, housework, etc. On religion: He's Church of England. I'm unaffiliated, but recently have been exploring my Jewish roots. I want my children to be tolerant and open to all religions. He doesn't care as long as they still go to church on Sunday. Well, he says he doesn't care. So we wrote it down. We don't have kids yet, so it hasn't come up. Recently though, we were talking about money. He tithes to his church, I tithe to a charity. This became a sticking point for him, because the money was for God not man according to him. The contract came in handy. We had agreed to keep some of our paychecks 'personal' and some 'communal'. Because of how we had it worded, I agreed to let him use the gross total to make his tithe to the church for both of us. I still use my personal amount for my charities. It doesn't stop every problem.......but it helps.

Whatever happens, work to remember the love. Conflict builds strength. Survive all the little obstacles and your marriage will be a strong as steel.

Answer 7

Wow, you have a real deal on your hands don't you? I know how you feel, I promise, and the first thing to remember is that you're not alone. Secondly, the two of you need to sit down and have some serious discussions (with leaders of your church, bishops and other leaders of his church, and with each other). I can tell you right now, you will have some pretty big issues to work around. Please talk through all of these things BEFORE you get married. I really do wish you luck, and all the blessings that can be wished on two people.

Answer 8

I would expect lots of problems, and it will not be easy. Unfortunately people don't realize when they are starting out that when things get tough they are going to fall back on tradition because that's what feels safe. If your tradition is different from your partners, chances are, somebody is going to be uncomfortable and there will be a constant tug-of-war to get back to your respective comfort zones. Don't discount the importance of this because it arises, not only with regard to religion, but also finances and child-rearing--2 very important aspects of marriage. Sometimes I think just knowing tough times are coming helps you prepare for them. So if you truly love each other and are willing to work at it, then go for it!

Answer 9

If you have been able to work through problems before, you might be able to make this work. The biggest problem you have, though, is the religion. If you two really love each other, leave your individual rituals aside, and create some new traditions, as your basic belief in Jesus is the same. Start you life anew. As long as you hang on to the old religious traditions, you will not be able to make it work peacefully.

Answer 10

Oh wow. Thats a toughy! One of you are going to have to completly bend the other direction eventually. Love is blind as they say-so true, so true. Unfortunatly, later the blinders come off and then youre in a "AHHH SH$%!" situation with a list of what to dos. Its great that you 2 talked it out and have come to conclusions with chidren. I hope you both can stick to them. What I think might become really hard is the families influence. Being married in a temple is very important in the LDS community among many, many other things.

Congradulations and good luck to the both of you!