Ok here is this weeks problem. My mentally challenged?

Question

daughter goes to a day program and gets counseling too.Social axiety is only 1 of the things they are supposed to be helping her with. Now, her case manager is going to try to get her out in the community - and is supposed to be with her at all times and help her make good choices.. Here's problem #1.. my daughter HATED the last person who did that - followed her around everywhere but the bathroom - but this CM says that's the only way the insurance will pay.. So I'm thinking about stopping that service.. I need help with that one.. If I should continue it and hope that it will help her..? or just let her be as long as she is happy?.She is 23 and likes to play with dolls (She is NOT MR) but developmentally delayed - and that may never go away - or she may be MY age (49) when she does grow up! And the day program she attends is complaining about her not socializing - and I know she has a problem with that but it sems unfair to me that they complain to her about the very things that the

the other kids have problems with - and I have no idea if they have been spoken to or not. I do know that the CM's communicate about the kids so here's #2 - is it unreasonable of me to expect the CM's to go introduce a the girls.. if they see my daughter alone, they could go up to her, say come with me, and introduce her to another girl who is also alone and shy.. Like "Mary, this is Jane, Jane this is Mary. Jane likes to read books too just like you and maybe you 2 could sit together and talk" Because my daughter has TRIED to ask people to play with her but they refused.. And she did meet one friend for which I am eternally grateful.. But is it unreasonable to ask them to do this?
I just have no idea what to do here?
Can someone please advise me?

Answer 1

I know it is natural to protect as a Mom....and with the issues your daughter faces it is doubly so. I work in MH as a therapy tech....and your daughter can make progress if she trusts you and the CM........If she doesn't trust the worker it is not a help....yet you have to give the benefit of the doubt to the CM....and tough love is easier to administer from a stranger sometimes...........a talk with the CM may help to give her just a bit of breathing room, so she feels safe but not smothered.......and I'm sure the insurance allows for a bit of physical space....

Answer 2

It's not for me to really judge but it sounds like she doesn't like to be forced into things. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink? I remember hating school when I was in kindergarten. Have you ever had any tests done to see what part of her brain is active and by what? Does she have short term or long term memory problems? Has she ever been diagnosed as being autistic? Recently ABC 20/20 I believe did a piece on a couple with down syndrome.I'm not comparing the two I just wondered if you saw it. It was a very emotional program. In a way it sounds like she is repeating a learned behavior from earlier childhood.Have you ever recorded her playing and noticed any repetitive behavior? I'm just curious. Good luck anyway.

Answer 3

Your issues sound like a long, greivious, exasperating case of 'Failure to Enroll' at Vacation Bible School! With that option ignored, it would seem that your concern would prompt you to suppliment the 'day program' with 3 hours a week at church. You & your daughters attendence (together) at Sunday morning service, Sunday evening service & Wednesday evening Bible Study would probably show dramatic, positive & very effective results. Furthermore, in my narrow opinion, it would seem beneficial to encourage participation in the church choir, too! If a schedule of intensive church is rejected by you or your daughter, I could only pray that you would make an effort ANYWAY for at least 4-6 months to give the idea a chance to solve all of your very serious problems.

Answer 4

i am not familiar with this type of environment. i can only give you my opinion lookin from the outside in. First of all i want to commend you for taking so much time and interest in you daughter. Alot of others would have just shipped her off to a padded room somewher. Good For you.
Secondly it doesn't seem like the place your daughter is going to has much interest in helping her develop further. Almost like they are in it mostly for the paycheck.
Have you thought about shopping around for a different place. Maybe one smaller so there will be more interaction. I just think it sounds like you and your daughter are being short changed. Ask them the questions you need to know. Share with them your concerns and if you aren't satisfied with what they have to say go somewhere else. Good luck

Answer 5

why not look for a day program the encourages socialization instead of pushing it. i used to work with one such group we had about 2 dozen clients in 2 small towns. they included downs syndrome people, developmentally delayed people, and stroke victims. we taught them basic life skills, and most of them looked foreward to coming in every day to try to learn something new, be it crafts, or how to mark a bingo card properly. Some even went out into the community under supervision to learn and accomplish basic tasks for which they were paid. we had one man working in a fast food restaurant, bussing tables once a week. One woman dusted shelves in a store that sold china and crystal. others vaccuumed and washed floors in offices. Others never went anywhere but bowling and swimming with the group. We had one woman who stood in the corner, facing the wall except at meal times or when we were doing crafts, then she bloomed as long as she could paint or do beadwork. If your daughter plays with dolls, try getting her to make doll clothes. this may be just what she needs to draw her out, if you have the patience to teach her.

Answer 6

What is best for your child? This is your decision.
But if she is going to get help and this is the only way then it may be the best solution. If you aren't happy with it you can seek other options.