question about a 6 year old?

Question

my daughter just started kindergarten and friday at school the office called me because my 5year old tryed to break a 6 year old little boys finger due to him pinching her butt. i taught my daughter that if anyone touches her that way to break there fingers well the school gave her a warning if she does it again she will get detention the boy also got a warning but he has done it before to someone else. so my question is is it right for them to punish my daughter for doing what i told her to do.and what should i do about it

Answer 1

I had a similar situation with my son. One boy was trying to tip a little boy over in his wheel chair and my son KICKED THAT BOYS @$$

My son was punished by the school and I was called in. When I got there they started telling me what happened. I told the pricipal to let me talk to My child...Devin explained to me in full flesh tears why he had to beat that kid up. When he finished telling me in front of the teacher, princapals and the superintendant of the school what happened. I turned red in the face turn to the made devin leave the room and made these grown men feel 3 inches tall.

You see the little boy was sittling in his wheel chair defensless and this older boy (2nd Grade) (devin was in K) can over and was tring to tip this heavy motorized wheel chair over with this handicaped boy in it. Devin was friends with this little boy and felt that his friend was in danger and when he told the teacher he said that it was okay. doing what he felt was right he tackled that older boy and started punching him until the teacher pulled him off him.

I taught my son to stick up for those who can't stick up for themselves and that was what he was doing. I told the school that if they even thought of punishing my child for doing something a grown up should of done (stopping the older boy messing with the wheel chair) that I would put an article in the Local newspapers and see the local channel news. Devin walked away scott free.

Now my daughter is 6 months and I will teach her the same thing. (break their fingers) If the school has a problem with that then they can answer to me. She has a right to protect herself.

Answer 2

While it is great to show your daughter to defend herself you may have to choose between her being punished also or teaching her a new strategy such as telling the teacher when something like that happens. I am not at all saying what your daughter did was wrong but as a teacher I know that no reason will be good enough to keep her from punishment as far as the school is concerned. Now as for as you I would explain to her that you understand why she did it and that your not upset with her but next time do this or that. So decide whether you will continue to allow her to take actions into her own hands and deal with the consequences of her actions or teacher her another way to keep her out of trouble but still give the boy what he has coming to him (even if it is broken fingers)

Answer 3

Your daughter did the right thing, as this is what you taught her to do. However, I think it is the wrong thing you've told her to do. The punishment is understandable, as you should never cause harm to others. Had she of gone straight to the teacher and reported it (as the honest way goes) the little boy would have been reprimanded, and your little girl would be back playing freely. You then could have requested a meeting with the little boys parents and discussed the unacceptable behaviour as adults, instead of teaching your daughter to fight unacceptable behaviour with more unacceptable behaviour. Yes, a little girl should be taught to fight if they are trying to be overtaken, but a 5 year old pinching another 5 year olds butt is not a dirty crime. They're experimental kids, that need to be taught between right and wrong.

Answer 4

Resolving violence with violence is never the right answer (no matter how tempting and can understand you were only trying to teach your daughter to defend herself!!!) However, schools have very strict codes when dealing with these type of situations. If anything, the other child should definitely be punished if he's a repeat offender.

My suggestion is let your daughter know that she has a right to defend herself if she feels threatened, however, only resort to physical retaliation as a last resort. She should let a teacher know right away if someone is hassling her and let them take care of it and naturally to let you know as well! But I would definitely talk to the principal to let him/her know what you told your daughter and that you have discussed an alternate method for dealing with kids who are provoking her.

Good luck!

Answer 5

Not only is it right, but if your daughter breaks or hurts that chilkd in any way you could have charges pressed against her and she could end up in serious trouble.
As a teacher I deal with parents who tell their child this all the time.........if someone hurts you.......hurt them back. I will write what I always tell them. It is true that a child needs to defend himher self and it is neccessary in life. When walking home from school, dealing with a bully in the neighbor hood, etc. At school, administrators and teachers are there to act as body guards and be available to help protect your child. They can't stop something from happening but, can often prevent it or help solve it in a nonviolent way.
Think about the choices:
your child breaks his fingers: gets a case worker is labelled a risk to other students, you could be sued and made to pay for expenses.
or
tell her to tell someone immediately and press sexual harrassment charges if it happens again.

Answer 6

i think that your daughter did right no boy should touch a girl in a way that they don't like. So don't feel guilty that your daughter got in trouble because of something you told her to do. Also you can say that if the boy does that next time she should go tell the teacher. Plus the boy is probley trying to get her attenchion.

Answer 7

well perhaps you need to rethink what you told her.. telling her to break another kids fingers is teaching her to be violent... in all honesty her biggest threat would be from adults and telling a 5yr old to break the fingers would simply get her killed really..

the correct thing for her to have done (and for you to have taught her) is to "TELL SOMEBODY" and say "STOP IT" loudly so she gets attention

teaching violence is never right... I mean its different when shes a teen and you are telling her what to do to keep a teenage boys hands off her.. but will she really listen then?? probably not...

Answer 8

Don't worry what others say. Good for you for teaching her that.

BUT you should explain to her that it's not appropriate to do it to kids in her class or she could get into trouble. Try to teach her only to do it if adults approach her in this way (or older kids of course) and be sure to teach her her how to stomp on a guys foot or kick him in the balls if he tries to say get into my car for some candy.

I live in Los Angeles and I see perverts every day. It's about time someone started teaching their daughters to be careful. Once I saw a grown man on the bus flirting and touching a little girl and the mother did NOTHING.

Answer 9

Why on earth would you tell a 5 year old to harm someone else? How about teaching her to go tell the nearest adult??? You need some help in parenting.
Your question, no, I don't think your daughter should be punished, I think you should be.

Answer 10

Schools have their respective regulations. When some kid touches your daughter, just tell her to spank the culprit with a ruler or her palm on the culprit's butt. And tell your daughter to report that she got hurt to the teacher right away. Good luck on being a great mom!