I have a crush on a girl I work with. She just got out of a bad relationship with a guy that was a jerk to her. She is on the rebound and told a friend of mine (that we both know) that she isn't ready for a relationship just yet. The friend didn't say who I am or anything like that but I was just wondering how would you know when a girl like that would be ready for a relationship? I have fallen head over heals over this girl and my worse fear is I'd wait too long thinking she needs the extra time and a different guy asks her out. How can I avoid this from happening?
2006-08-26 13:42:33 · 7 answers · asked by osunumberonefan 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First I aplogize...I am a girl so I can't help you from a guy's point of view. Okay so here we go.
First...you are never going to get anywhere unless you get moving. She may not be ready for a relationship yet but that doesn't mean that you cannot be a friend. You will to exercise some control over your "head-over-heals" syndrome. Be her friend.
Second....Don't rush it! Most girls (like 90%) of us like to be pursued. Now don't get any ideas and chase her out to the parking lot or anything. But don't just sit over there starin at her wishing she knew. Go up to her. You don't have to some out and say "I really like you and I would you go out with me?". Okay in fact don't even think about doing that. Just go up to her and make small talk. Start slow. Besides if you are really falling for her; her girl-friends at work will tell her. Us girls have radar for a crushing guy. You can tell her that you like her but make sure to include that you are willing to let her heal before she jumps into a relationship with you. But do it very gently. Don't call her ex a jerk either in any way she will ever hear about it. As strange as it seems she may take offense to that. Let her do any name calling that is going to be done. She may not do any and in that case dont start any. This way you have your foot in the door before any other guy.
Third....Don't be afraid to say something. If you want to tell her do it. Just do it gently. Tell her you will wait for her to heal. Do Not say "I will wait for you to heal." Bad idea that just implies that she is to weak not to get hurt. Say something more like "If you don't want to get into another relationship right now that's fine. I'll let you have as much time as you want in between."
Fourth....You don't have to worry about the rest of the world. Be bold. Leave a rose and candy for her to find. Do something romantic. Like I said girls like to be pursued. Show an interest. But be gentle. I know it sounds like I am contradicting myself but I am just trying to across that you need to find balance.
Fifth....Be yourself. Don't wear a mask around her or anyone else for that matter. One of these days you'll be in a hurry and grab the wrong mask on the way out the door. Just be yourself. Girls don't like shallow, false guys. Big emphasizes on the false side of it.
Sixth....Go with your heart. Enough said there.
Now have at it man! You only live once so don't let an opputunity pass you by that you would have loved to experience! Live with a passion.
Good Luck!
2006-08-26 14:00:31 · answer #1 · answered by Charis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her if you guys could go out as just friends for a movie or dinner some time. Don't have sex on the first date. I am sure that sence she just broke up she wants to feel the love from another guy even if she isn't really interested so she might try to sleep with you but even if you have strong feelings for her don't fall into her trap cuz if you guys have sex right off the there will be no chance between you guys so just take it slow. You won't be sorry. : )
2006-08-26 13:50:33 · answer #2 · answered by Beverly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a good one... has she had other "jerk" relationships?
if so she maybe attracted to that type (unawares)
if not.. then be her friend that is what she needs now... not another relationship so soon.. you will know when she is ready and she will let you know when she see you in a new light
2006-08-26 13:50:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her you heard about her breakup with this guy and how bad you feel for her and if she needs a sholder to cry on you're there. she may take you up on it and who knows, it might lead to the relationship you are looking for.
2006-08-26 13:48:50 · answer #4 · answered by Texas T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Become friends with her,JUST FRIENDS,then just be a good friend
If she starts to like you more than a friend she will let you know.
2006-08-26 13:47:16 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simple.
Ask her out NOW!
2006-08-26 13:46:00 · answer #6 · answered by SweetBrunette 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be her freind ...that way you are there when she needs someone
2006-08-26 13:49:07 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs. M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋