If my non-Catholic husband gets a vasectomy, would I be in a state of mortal sin if I am opposed to it?

Question

Has anyone been in this situation or similar to it? I am a devout, practicing Catholic and refuse to sacrifice my soul but I also don't want to harm my marriage. We have been married 12 years and have 3 kids. I love him so much but he's not Catholic and does not understand or appreciate our position on birth control.

Answer 1

If you are opposed to it, and he goes ahead and does it, I don't think that you are in a state of mortal sin, because you have made your beliefs known (and he might not be, either, based on the fact that he's not Catholic). You might want to talk to your parish priest about it, or possibly post this question to one of the on-line Catholic websites (EWTN has a good one).

Answer 2

Maybe your husband feels that 3 kids is enough. Why should he be forced - because of your religion - to have additional kids that he doesn't want?

The real reason the Catholic church opposes any form of birth control is so that through large families the church will grow in numbers, wealth, and power. You are the breeder-pawn in this scenario.

What kind of a God do you worship if he would condemn you to Hell for something your husband did?

Answer 3

I would think that since birth control would not be your choice in this situation, it can also not be your sin. Of course if you are unsure about it ask your priest.
You cannot control your husband in this matter, and so you are in a difficult situation either way. If you support his decision as a Catholic, probably it would be a sin. If you oppose it, you could also be in danger of sinning since you would not be supporting him. Since, it is not your vasectomy, I don't think it would be a mortal sin for you, though perhaps you could not avoid a lesser sin.
I am not Catholic. Good luck to you either way.

Answer 4

That's a really tough question-- I know how tough the Church is on birth control. For the most part though, they are pretty good about not pressing their religious beliefs on others (although this is only recently).

I think you cannot be faulted for something someone else does. It seems like you should not be punished for your husband getting a vasectomy when you can't prevent him from doing it. This is really a question for a priest, though.

Answer 5

honestly?? i don't know. i am not Catholic either, but i do respect your beliefs and practices and am aware of how you view birth control. that being said, ultimately it is his decision, not yours.(even if you are opposed to it.) but if God is really the fair and just God that i was taught He is, he will not punish you for the "sin" your husband committed. although many religions do not even consider this a sin... but ultimately i would not be too worried if he does go through with it. as long as he knows how you feel, he still gets to choose what he wants to do with his body. best of luck to the two of you!!

Answer 6

What is a mortal sin, doesn't seem to be in the Bible. Do you have another authority other than the Bible.How does your husbands action effect your soul. How can the action of any other human being effect your soul.

All sins are mortal sins. The wages of sin is death. Did Jesus categorize sin, Please advise, I am also unaware of this. Since you have a doctrine I suppose you can direct me to the scripture that dictates this doctrine?

Answer 7

I'm not catholic, but I believe in divine family planning. I also believe that as a god-fearing wife it's my privilige to respect my husbands decisions. You should explain to him why you believe what you do, and leave it in God's hands. He will not hold you responsible for your husbands actions, because you are an individual, and you have shared your belief with your husband. Presentation is everything though when it comes to dealing with guys-a meek quiet spirit and the assurance that you still love and accept him in spite of his choice.

Answer 8

Ummm - the average age here is 14. 50% of the people on YA don't know (or don't care enough) to capitalize the first word in a sentence. Their theological training is slight, to say the least. You seem to be well above the norm. Isn't this a question for your priest?

Answer 9

You would not be in sin if your husband does this.

Let's look at the situation this way:

You have three main spiritual objectives as a believer, wife and mother. Your spiritual development, your Children's spiritual development towards belief and communion with the church, and your husband's spiritual development towards belief and communion with the church.

To be opposed to artificial birth control is to be in line with the teaching and practice of the RCC. However, your husband is already out of line with RCC teachings, so his obtaining a vasectomy does not take him further out of line, he is already out of line. To continue to live with a spouse who is not a believer is not sinful.

Now, what are your options as a wife in this case? One, continue to be Christ in the life of your Husband and Children, recognizing and forgiving their sinful natures and actions, or remove yourself from them either emotionally or physically. I content that the second action would be detrimental to their spiritual development process, and perhaps harden their heart against the church, precluding future relationship and growth.

Morality in a sinful world is hard. Love God, and work hard to raise strong men and women of God.

Answer 10

As long as you didn't encourage him to have the vasectomy,I think that you have done as much as you can do. The vasectomy, if carried out is his doing, so I don't see how this could be a sin on your part, especially when you tried your best to talk him out of it. By all means, talk to a priest about this to relieve you mind of furthur anguish.