What would you do in this situation?

Question

What would you do in this situation?
I found my birthbrother / family last week, he was also adopted.
I went over his apartment for the first time with my boyfriend last night. I went to use his bathroom and it was discusting worse then movie theatre bathrooms. There was old toilet paper stuck to the floor that was yellow looking, brown marks in the toilet. And the worst on the toilet and seat spots of blood and urine.
My brother is 23 his gf lives there is 32 and she has 3 children, and his adopted gay brother also lives there.
I was affraid of catching some disease from his apartment. On top of that his gay brother stated that hes allergic, forgot what brought that up. But my boyfriend brought over playing cards, a brand new deck, and his brother says" my finger is bleeding for some reason , then he started picking it with my boyfriends playing cards.

What would you do in this situation? I dont want to say anything to make any feelings hurt?

Answer 1

In the future I would meet your brother for a coffee or a meal, somewhere neutral. Or, invite him and his gf&kids over to your house. As for the adopted bro, there is nothing wrong with being concerned for the safety of your own health. You are not obligated to invite him to your home. And this does NOT in anyway make you a homophobe!

Best of Luck!

Answer 2

Some people just don't get it when it come to personal hygiene or self worth, or what's normal when it comes to cleanliness. Some people get but just don't care. I would advise you to limit your relationship to the telephone or visits to some common ground. Not your place either, you may embarrass them. Don't make any explanations or excuses just say your busy but you have time such and such day if they would like to meet you for lunch at "...." There is nothing wrong with telling them you need to go slow because the whole New Family Thing is overwhelming for you right now. Good Luck.