An atheist was walking through the woods one day in Alaska admiring all that evolution had created.
"What majestic trees !
What a powerful river !
What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.
As he walked alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. Turning to look, he saw a 13 foot Kodiak bear beginning to charge toward him. He ran as fast as he could down the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was rapidly closing on him. Somehow he ran even faster, so scared that tears came to his eyes. He looked again and the bear was even closer. His heart pounding in his chest he tried to run even faster yet. But alas, he tripped and fell to the ground. As he rolled over to pick himself up he saw the bear reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to deliver a killing blow.
"OH MY GOD !" he pleadingly screamed.
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
Even the powerful river stopped flowing.
A brilliant light shone upon the man and a thunderous voice came from all around,
"YOU DENY MY EXISTENCE FOR ALL THESE YEARS. YOU TEACH OTHERS THAT I DON'T EXIST. YOU EVEN CREDIT CREATION TO SOME COSMIC ACCIDENT. DO YOU EXPECT ME TO HELP YOU OUT OF THIS PREDICAMENT? AM I TO COUNT YOU AS A BELIEVER? "
Difficult as it was, the atheist looked directly into the light and said, "It would be hypocritical to ask to be a Christian after all these years and under these circumstances but perhaps you could make the bear a Christian? "
"VERY WELL" said the voice.
The light went out.
The river ran.
The sounds of the forest resumed.
The huge bear dropped down on his knees, brought both paws together, bowed and spoke............
"Lord, thank you for this food which I am about to receive."
2006-08-26 11:37:35 · 33 answers · asked by Danielle 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
lol, I didn't know that this was an old joke..I just heard it today. I was just wondering if I should refrain from saying it because I didn't want to offend anyone. I didn't think it was offensive, but I wanted to be for sure....thanks for the answers!
2006-08-26 11:46:23 · update #1
lol funny.
Well at least he didn't ask him to make the bear a Jew or Muslim.
2006-08-26 11:48:48 · answer #1 · answered by psych0bug 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would any Atheist be offended by a fantasy tale, when they spend so much time trying to help religious people understand, and break free from, the fantasy world they live in. For example ...
The Bible is really just a fake story, perhaps a bit like the Loch Ness monster tales.
When we pass on information to another (example: story, joke, description of something etc) by the time these details are passed on by word of mouth, interpreted by others, and then written down, the final details are typically quite different than the original information.
Since the Bible is just a man-made story passed down over many years in various forms, the chance of it being accurate in any shape or form is remote.
There are people who swear blind that the Loch Ness monster exists regardless of all the evidence to the contrary, but a fence post bobbing up and down in the Loch does the trick. Similarly there are people who swear blind that God exists and the Bible is fact, yet there isn’t one blind bit of evidence to support such theories.
Biblical tales are really no different than Loch Ness monster tales, just the era is different.
What's the difference, a bear in Alaska or a monster in Scotland?
2006-08-26 11:43:15 · answer #2 · answered by Brenda's World 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I AM a theist by the way, so I do believe in God. But, that joke demonstrates a lot of ignorance. Evolutionists don't credit the creation of the universe to "some accident." If you're gonna try to be funny, at least have your info correct.
2006-08-29 11:07:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I thought it was funny. Here is another one.
An agnostic was driving around a full parking lot looking for a parking place. He was having no luck so he said what the hell I’ll give prayer a try. He prayed
“Dear God help me find a parking place and I go to church every Sunday. “
Just then a place opened up.
Then he continued to pray.
“Never mind. I found one.”
2006-08-26 11:54:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm an atheist and I think it's hysterical! I would think that it would anger the Christians more because it implies that they will do what they know is wrong but do so in the name of God.
Thanks for the laugh!
2006-08-26 11:45:00 · answer #5 · answered by Rogue Scrapbooker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, that's a funny joke. It made me laugh and I'm in a terrible mood. So, thank you. I am an atheist by the way.
2006-08-26 12:33:06 · answer #6 · answered by chocolatebunny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though it is an old, old joke...I think it is funny. Oh, I am an agnostic. :)
I have heard another ending where the Atheist says "It is said that we are all made in your image, so if you are going to let me be killed then aren't you killing yourself? Isn't suicide an abomination in your eyes?"
At which god lets him go.
2006-08-26 11:48:50 · answer #7 · answered by worldneverchanges 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hahahahahaha
-Athiest.
2006-08-26 11:46:30 · answer #8 · answered by Alucard 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good joke I liked it. I don't think they'd be angry. Just argue that his calling on GOd was using a common turn of phrase
2006-08-27 07:10:02 · answer #9 · answered by zubinlcooper 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am an atheist and I find it hilarious!I actually just woke up my parents to tell them the joke and they find it very amusing thank u!
2006-08-26 12:06:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
From my experience they wouldn't be bothered by something lie that, they just don't like it when someone belittles them because of their lack of belief in a higher power
2006-08-26 11:43:43 · answer #11 · answered by Shinkirou Hasukage 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋