My Bipolar Wife Part 2?

Question

Thanks to everyone who has responded to my questions. My children are safe, the two oldest ones are with their father from her first marriage and my youngest one is with me. Today, I plan to let go. However, as I do this I extended my self out one more time and told her that when the day comes and she admits she needs help I will be there for her because I Love Her. Is this ok? I have done extensive reseach on Bipolar and know that they can only help themselves. I truly forgive her for all she has done to me and my family. All I dream of now is having a mother for my son that is well and can be there for him. I hope that is not to much to ask for? It hurts so bad to watch her destroy everything around her without a thought. She was the greatest mother to our children and a very wonderful wife, but that is all but gone now. Will she ever get back to a normal life. I can only hope God will intervene and help. Watching this unfold is just killing me inside. Thank You Again.

Answer 1

Actually, you can call the police and have her committed to a hospital for up to 36/72 hours depending on your state. Simply contact your hospitals mental wing and talk to them and talk about what's going on and what YOUR options are.

Good luck (I'm Bipolar and I've had to commit a friend against their will, so I've been there). Pretty bad when a crazy person has to institutionalize another crazy person, lol! But, she needs medication to "bring her mood swings in line" and "normalize" them to a happy medium. Whether or not she KEEPS taking them or not when she gets out is not your problem, that's on HER conscience, not yours.

My best friend will take her's until she gets to "feeling better, then she doesn't need them anymore" and I can't get it through her head that she feels better BECAUSE she takes them. Then it starts all over again.

Good luck - I've been on my meds for 13 years steady and I feel so good! No plans on getting off them, don't want to chance it.

Answer 2

speaking as someone that is bipolar,I think that the thing that helps me most is that no matter how screwed up things get that there is a solid point( that would be you) that will be there to anchored me to the planet so I do not feel like I am going to spin right off. In the throws of a really bad episode there can be times where you feel as if everyone is speaking a different language and you no matter how hard you try you have no understanding and the effect that this has is it makes you damn angry and you just what to hurt and destroy anything in your wake because you deep down still feel like yourself but you cannot react as yourself or in a way that you normally would. With that in mind you said that you loved her then help her know that even when she is not herself and can not be herself or find herself that she knows that you still see her, she is still there and your love holds her here on the planet with you. Good Luck and Blessings

Answer 3

OK. Bipolar people as you have stated above can ONLY help themselves, and do not let go. Stay by her side. Bipolar disease is incurable, but it can be overcome with therapeutics and love. Basically, bipolar disease is just severe mood swings, so if you can manage to have more good moods than bad moods, she is in very good shape. First, you should speak to a psychiatrist who can sort of go undercover and just be a friend to your bipolar wife. Praying is what is best. A psychiatrist is the best person for this, an ordinary doctor will probably only care about his paycheck. A psychiatrist will talk to your bipolar wife, and give her some of the tools necessary to help her overcome her predicament. OK. Most importantly, do not let go. Everyone needs someone to love, and someone to be loved. God Bless. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Answer 4

You do realize that Bipolar disorder is a disease just like anything else. I doubt you would say: "I forgive my wife for all the trauma her chemo put us through. All I dream of is having a new cancer-free wife." You do realize that she probably didn't "destroy everything without a thought"? That she probably couldn't stop. Just like someone who has a cold can't stop their runny nose. Pills help, but the runny nose is still there. I'm sorry you felt you had to leave your wife, but don't blame her for being sick. She didn't ask for it. She doesn't deserve it. How do you admit you have a problem, when you're so ill you can't even remember that you were ever well? Please this isn't like some kind of self-inflicted alcoholism, which is what you make it sound like. I can't continue. Sorry you had to leave her, but just remember she didn't choose to "inflict" this on you.

Answer 5

Sexy Scorp couldn't have said it any better. I am bipolar and my husband knows how hard it is for me to stay on an even keel. Would you leave her if she had diabetes and ate sugar all the time? Sometimes in life you have to look above the behavior and remember that it is the disease talking not your wife. She is still in there and now is not the time to leave her. She will attempt suicide if you don't interveve and get her hospitalized. Don't wait for God to intervene.

Answer 6

My heart pours out to you and the children. Can you intervene based in insanity? If she knows what she is doing, then she has chosen this homeless man over you. I can't imagine that someone in their right mind would choose a homeless man and give up a stable home, loving husband and her children. You are great to hang in there for her and hold out hope. May God be with you, your children and your wife!

Answer 7

If she is unmedicated, then yes, you have to leave for your sake and the children.
However, have you tried to get her medicated? Have you tried to check her into hospital involuntarily? If the answer is no, then you have failed in your spousal responsibility.
Also, I agree with sexy scorp- there is nothing to forgive. Maybe it helps you deal with it, but in reality, she's not responsible.
She did not do any of those things. The illness did. This is an illness that is 70% genetic, and completely biochemical. She is, literally, insane.
The only thing that she has control over is whether she gets treatment for her condition. If you have tried to help her seek treatment then your conscience is clear.

Answer 8

cjb.. I totally feel for you and your son.you are doing what is right for you and your son.You are a good person and you tried your best...

.No one but you know what it was like to see your wife destroy herself ,your relationship and your family.It is heart aching and no one no's that anguish unless they lived it...

People can tell you to stick it out but there comes a time where you have to save your self before you have a break down...
Living with an out of control bipolar is hell....
There illness becomes yours... life becomes confusing and turned around.
Your right she has to help herself and if she doesn't want to or can't it is best you take your son to a safe place...
Away from all the craziness...
You are doing what is right...
Stay strong for you and your son......
we will pray that she sees the light and finds her way back to reality before it is to late... good bless and take care..

Answer 9

All I can say is my mother is bi-polar and it nearly destroyed me, the things she did and said to me. If she's not getting help - the kids, and you, are better off without her. Sorry, I'm just very bitter about the hell my mother put me through. And today she's very smug about it, almost as if she's impressed with herself.

Answer 10

wow...i am 23 and actually going through the same thing with my parents...my mother has totally destroyed our family and is convinced that its not her fault that its everyone else's ...my dad finally is letting go --telling her that she needs help and when she does he'll be a phone call away so you are doing the right thing for sure